I am very new to this course and I have some questions. First a little about myself. I was born in the Netherlands and emigrated to New Zealand with my husband and 4 sons. I come from a family of 4 sisters and 2 little brothers with a very sick father so we were living on welfare. I married young without any school qualification and although my husband was older he also did not have any qualification. We managed ok, and suprising always if I wanted something the money was there, although I always worried about it. I have been a worrier all my life. I am really doing my best not to do that and I am doing much better however as my husband is already retired, I am now so focused on having enough money to be able to live a confertable life and be able to see the grandchildren. We have 4 and 2 live overseas, 2 others quite a distance away.
What confuses me is that in my life the things I said without thinking have come thrue. Like I did not want to have daughters as girls fight so much and sure enough I have only sons. My first pregnancy I was expecting twins and when people asked me if I had everything ready I said no one might die and sure enough the second twin died at 2 days. Then for years I was afraid I would loose a child if they were not with me and sure enough I lost another son at nearly 17 through a drunk driver he was killed on the road. I really had sort of "said" that two years before. It was getting quite scary. I am ok with my children now, so nothing will happen anymore. I always wished for health, yet I have brought up an Autistic son and a Asperger syndrome son and have suffered from FMS myself for 30 years until 4 years ago and now I feel great most of the time.
My question is, because it popped in my mind, was it my fault my children died, did I cause this to happen? With my 4th son I asked God for help as he was a strong young man and we were in a battle of wills. 2 weeks later he died. I have stopped thinking since then and it is really hard to concentrate on staying focused. Up till now the wrong things I think about happen, how can I manifest the right things? I would like financial freedom, I am building a networking business and I would like to atrack the right people not the people who need and want me to help them. I seem to always want to mother everybody. :-) I would like to be helped for a change.
My husband has stayed still in his development and he is more another son than a husband. In fact I suspect that he has Aspergers syndrome. In fact my sons are independant while my husband is dependant. So I am doing this on my own. People alwasy say I am so strong, maybe I am, however I think most of the time it is a front for hiding my pain.
How do I get through this? I am on LL10 and I am trying to rush through it as I do not quite understand it. I keep listening to the book on CD and also have watched the movie the Secret, so I start to understand it slowly, it is the focusing the thoughts that is still a challenge. Up till now. :-)
Thank you all for "listening"
Ajerr

Welcome, Ajerr.

Of course you did not cause the bad things to happen to you and your family. And how does it makes you feel when you have thoughts like that? My guess is, not very good. So try and focus on the things that you do want to attract.

Please do not rush through the lessons because that defeats its purpose. I think you would be wise to start over again.

You are a very strong woman and I admire you for it, and also for the insights that you just shared.

Blessings,
Caroline
http://schefren.infusionsoft.com/go/live/esuccess

Thank you for your kind words Caroline.
It was really funny after I wrote the email I suddenly got it. It was really strange. I heard things on the CD that I did not hear before, so I feel so clever all of a sudden.
I even realised today that money was taken out of my account for an overpayment I needed to pay the pension people back. That should have stopped in November and they were still taken it. Government for you. So I am so grateful as I now have a little windfall. :-) Life is good.

God Bless
Ajerr

quote:

It was really funny after I wrote the email I suddenly got it. It was really strange. I heard things on the CD that I did not hear before, so I feel so clever all of a sudden.

Yes yes yes! We have always been incredibly clever but we needed a bit of help to be reminded about that truth!

Caroline

I am sending you and your family a BLAST!!!

I am also expecting success for you.

SOGR is all about the creative mind - Even before finding out about SOGR I have always found that when ever I started doing something that Ideas would come to me out of now where into my mind to cause me to be more creative.

Be good to yourself, Tom Strong

PS My Daughters In Laws are from New Zeland and go back often - a very beautifull country.

Dear Ajerr,

The more I allow the principles of cause and effect and the laws of attraction to be part of me the more I realise that wondering about what has happened up 'til now takes me away from the future.

Now I am aware of the principles that have always been around but that I've not recognised up 'til now, I am able to see that my future is great. I can't change the past, but even if I could why would I want to? I'm living for today and preparing for the future and the joys that are ahead.

Take your time in moving forward. Don't rush or you are competing against yourself trying to prove these principles work.

They do. Have faith and expect success!

Andy

Good point, Andy, about the "I am living for today". I see another label coming out of the label maker to remind me to stay in today.

Ajerr, how have you been doing? You don't know it, but your post inspired me to revisit a certain immigration website. I was born in Zealand. I have this thing with names and numbers and other coincidences, and I still believe that I am going to visit New Zealand one day. Just because of the name, to be honest I am pretty ignorant about it.
All I know is I keep on meeting nice people on the web, who are living there.

Going off topic for a bit, but I do wish you lots of success!

Caroline
http://schefren.infusionsoft.com/go/live/esuccess