Hello:

I'm having fun with LL 11, but I needed a fast energy shifting technique and read about BLAST.

My question: Why use "I am sorry" instead of
"I forgive you / myself? I am sorry about what?

Say YES! to all that bounty that's trying to get your attention!

It means: I apologize for whatever it is in me that is causing me to see YOU as less than whole, perfect, and complete. It means: I see that I've been doing that and I choose to let it go now.

(It's not part of the course; it's an extra I introduced in the "It's All Relative" section.)

I also had trouble understanding the 'I am sorry' part. Blasting a person that you wish to improve your relationship with doesn't need an apology, it needs all judgment removed from the equation. But, how to use the 's' in that?

quote:

Originally posted by BEing NOW!:
I also had trouble understanding the 'I am sorry' part. Blasting a person that you wish to improve your relationship with doesn't need an apology, it needs all judgment removed from the equation. But, how to use the 's' in that?

Actually, it's exactly what I wrote below. When you see that you've been looking at that person as less than Who S/He Really Is, and you choose not to do that, THEN you have moved out of judgment.

You're not apologizing to that person. In fact, you're not doing anything at all TO or FOR that person. This is all for YOU. And you're just acknowledging that your attitude in the past wasn't worthy of Who YOU Really Are.

Thanks SO MUCH, Rebecca, for this clarification. I was resisting the I am sorry part!!!

Keep up the excellent work!

LauraR
Silver Spring MD

Greetings:

Thank you so much, Rebecca. About my quote:

quote:

And you're just acknowledging that your attitude in the past wasn't worthy of Who YOU Really Are.

Shall I understand that, as they say, people are our mirror? If I am mad about someone, I am mad about something in myself? Maybe the I am sorry is something like " Oh, do not give attention to such and such, it's not worth your attention, and beside, you will deviate from your unfolding/growing/deveoping process. Each one is on her journey, I stick to mine." BLAST!

Thank you.

P.S. Shall I continue this discussion in the It's All Relative section?

quote:

Shall I understand that, as they say, people are our mirror? If I am mad about someone, I am mad about something in myself? Maybe the I am sorry is something like " Oh, do not give attention to such and such, it's not worth your attention, and beside, you will deviate from your unfolding/growing/deveoping process. Each one is on her journey, I stick to mine." BLAST!

Not exactly. I'd say that whenever someone or someone "triggers" an emotional response in you, that person or situation is just the messenger. (You may notice that throughout your life you will be delivered the same message many times -- until you finally "get" it.) They are triggering something unresolved in your own past. So what you're feeling really has nothing to do with them at all.

The "I'm sorry" is nothing like what you have here (except for that last line). It's exactly what I said before. It's taking responsibility for whatever happens in your own experience. So if I am blaming someone else for what I am feeling, then I am not seeing that person or situation clearly at all. Because it is NOT about them. And as long as I persist in thinking it is, I don't get the message. Which means I might as well get ready to have another unpleasant experience later, as the Universe will keep trying to deliver the message and it has an infinite supply of "messengers."

Wow - reading this post has really been an eye opener for me today.
The last couple of days I have been struggling with anger over things that shouldn't really be bothering me any more. After reading Rebecca's comments, I see I have unresolved "issues" from my past that need to be dealt with.
Thank you for posting!

quote:

Originally posted by Rebecca:

Not exactly. I'd say that whenever someone or someone "triggers" an emotional response in you, that person or situation is just the messenger. (You may notice that throughout your life you will be delivered the same message many times -- until you finally "get" it.) They are triggering something unresolved in your own past. So what you're feeling really has nothing to do with them at all.

....

Any ideas on how to figure out what the message is?

quote:

Originally posted by ME:

quote:

Originally posted by Rebecca:
(You may notice that throughout your life you will be delivered the same message many times -- until you finally "get" it.) They are triggering something unresolved in your own past. So what you're feeling really has nothing to do with them at all.

....

Any ideas on how to figure out what the message is?

The point is not to try and figure out what the problem is, but to look at the problem as an opportunity to see it through new eyes. To see it through the eyes of love. Figuring out what the actual message is can keep you locked into indentifying yourself with that problem, when that problem or issue has nothing to do with who you really are. Its just memories replaying giving you the chance to either act from love or to act from ego and those memories are not the true essence of who you are either.

The act of saying sorry is not about asking the other person to forgive you or asking God or any other person out there for forgiveness, its about asking for YOU to help you forgive yourself.

Shannon

I had also read somewhere on these forums that it ment "I'm sorry that I let you come between me and my source"

quote:

Originally posted by Tom Strong:
I had also read somewhere on these forums that it ment "I'm sorry that I let you come between me and my source"

That's it isn't it Tom? Thanks for sharing this statement. Paix, Carolyn

quote:

Originally posted by Shannon:

quote:

Originally posted by ME:

quote:

Originally posted by Rebecca:
(You may notice that throughout your life you will be delivered the same message many times -- until you finally "get" it.) They are triggering something unresolved in your own past. So what you're feeling really has nothing to do with them at all.

....

Any ideas on how to figure out what the message is?

The point is not to try and figure out what the problem is, but to look at the problem as an opportunity to see it through new eyes. To see it through the eyes of love. Figuring out what the actual message is can keep you locked into indentifying yourself with that problem, when that problem or issue has nothing to do with who you really are. Its just memories replaying giving you the chance to either act from love or to act from ego and those memories are not the true essence of who you are either.

The act of saying sorry is not about asking the other person to forgive you or asking God or any other person out there for forgiveness, its about asking for YOU to help you forgive yourself.

Shannon

So are you telling me Shannon that the message is to always act from love? Right so next time someone is beating on me I'll lay down and take it and say: "Thank you, I love you."

Yes, I am being sarcastic. But I am also trying to make a point here.

If a person has a need to be aggressive and hostile whomever is standing in front of them receives it.

Yes, the response can vary greatly from person to person. I witnessed an incident recently where I saw someone be extremely rude and hostile to one person, who simply walked away. The next person confronted the attacker.

I thought that was interesting. The attacker was unbelievably rude. His ego was puffed up, and the act of attacking was puffing his ego more. It seemed it was his way of making himself feel powerful because he had no personal power. When the second person confronted his hostility it puffed him even more because he took energy from the second person's confrontation, and that increased his momentary power. Very interesting. It was almost like some kind of ritual.

I saw him a couple of days later in a different situation - where he could not attack - and he really had limited personal power. He was like a shadow.

And what about the second person who challenged him at that first incident? Something in their energy needed to be asserted, whereas the first guy just walked away.

I think the difference in the way these two people reacted holds a key to these principles.

Anybody care to add further interpretation to this?

Originally posted by Alison

quote:

Any ideas on how to figure out what the message is?

When I have a duuh moment, I simply ask, "Ok, so what are you trying to tell me here?" and if I listen quietly, I get the message. I give thanks and move on receive yet another message.

quote:

And what about the second person who challenged him at that first incident? Something in their energy needed to be asserted, whereas the first guy just walked away.

I think the difference in the way these two people reacted holds a key to these principles.

Anybody care to add further interpretation to this?

Allison,

As I see it, the attacker, the fighter and the "walker" were ALL being messengers and message receivers for each other and collectively they played a role of messenger for you by presenting you with this scenario to ponder upon.

I think your observation "I think the difference in the way these two people reacted holds a key to these principles." may be the message you are receiving. What do you think?

quote:

Originally posted by ME:

So are you telling me Shannon that the message is to always act from love?

Yes, always act from love. Yes, someone may be standing in front of you being aggressive, but how you recieve that and more importantly, how you react to it, is what is important. To attack aggression with aggression creates more aggression, each person wants to maintain his fixed position and not seem like the weaker one, thus resulting in stronger conflict and sometimes eventually, getting physical. Thats not to say you can't confront somebody who is displaying behaviour you don't agree with, it just depends on how you respond to it. Its very hard for somebody to continue being rude and aggressive if there is nothing there to feed it. Your observations are very interesting. To feel connected and energised, this person belittles others to recieve energy and give him a 'high'. Which when we get energy that way, is short lived as you saw when he was in a situation where he couldn't attack and seemed like a shadow of himself.

Shannon

quote:

Right so next time someone is beating on me I'll lay down and take it and say: "Thank you, I love you."

Exactly! not literally but rather figuratively. It's the same principle applied over and over again: the law of attraction. As Shannon points out, if you do not feed aggression with aggression, sooner or later whoever it is that is looking for this kind of energy from you will move away from you...and you will attract only people that is in sync with who you are.If you have a need to be aggressive, I will suggest that it is YOUR issue then, not the other person, which goes back to the idea why BLASTING someone works, because it is helping you to acknowledge that part of yourself that needs to be addressed and forgiven.

Blessings

I don't know Shannon and Kevsky, try telling that to people who run a shelter for battered women!
Though they do say rapists will sometimes lose interest and walk away from people who don't fight back.

I don't think responding with love to emotional or physical batterers (bullies) is the answer. Nor is fighting.

I think if there is no history of abuse, it's easy to respond with love; if there is a history of abuse, to respond with anything other than indifference feeds the circle of aggressor-victim-aggressor.

There was a fellow on the forum awhile back who told a story about being attacked; he ran for his life. He questioned how he had attracted the attack.

I don't question the attraction theory; it can happen at a subconscious level. I do question that responding with love is the answer.

If we look at Christianity, and the crucifixion, as Jesus hung on the cross he asked: "Father, why hast thou forsaken me?"

Christianity also teaches us to walk away from places we aren't welcome and dust off our feet as we leave.

Perhaps that is the solution to dealing with aggressors (bullies). Simply walk away, and dust off our shoes (and thoughts) as we do.

A sad story comes to mind about a young girl in Victoria, B.C. who was badly beaten - including having her spine broken - and left to die in a river. She was bullied by a group of teenage girls. A group she apparently wanted to be part of, yet one that never welcomed her, until the night they beat her. (At least that's how I remember the story, if anyone knows better please correct me.)

Her story can be a good example of why it's important to walk away from places (and people) who are unwelcoming.

This thread is supposed to be about using BLAST, and why we say "I'm sorry". And I think I'll leave this here.

quote:

Perhaps that is the solution to dealing with aggressors (bullies). Simply walk away, and dust off our shoes (and thoughts) as we do.

And one can do that with love and acceptance. Or with resentment, bitterness, and so on.

Either way, what comes next will be the consequence of where that attention and intention are focused.

This is not directed at bullies necessarily, just interesting:

If we look at Christianity it also says BLESS those who hate you/curse you/make it hard for you, etc. Not because they deserve a blessing, but because God will bless you for doing it.

And as Rebecca says:

quote:

And one can do that (walk away) with love and acceptance. Or with resentment, bitterness, and so on.

Either way, what comes next will be the consequence of where that attention and intention are focused.