I carry with me my core beliefs into every situation. I cannot run from myself and these mental programmings any longer. I've consciously chosen and set up my life to look at them now.

One belief is that I'll run out of time and money before I get settled in my joyful creative expression. And this fears imagines that I'll then have to get a dead-end job and then anything and everything that means anything to me will be put on the shelf again (Up till now I've done this belief cycle many times).

I know now that as I fear so I will be creating.
So stop right here and see what is going on! Go deeper.

The fact is that though I seem to be afraid of running out of time, it seems like I never really start when I do have the time. So I don't trust this fear. When it is time to create I often get a feeling of overwhelm, disinterest and also feeling impotent.

I'm ready to just love myself through these illusions.

Sheema--

Your post really rang a bell in my head. Up until now, I have gone through this cycle many times, too. The unnamed dread rising in me, finally taking the form of scarcity thinking: not enough time, not enough money, not enough support, etc, etc. And then a feeling of hopelessness or impotence leeching the desire to act away from me, so that I don't take any steps forward, even though some may be in my power.

One thing Mr. Wattles says that has helped with this cycle is that there is no hurry in the creative plain. It's like refocusing your vision, so that the disturbing blur becomes something clear and understandable. And managable.

Did you have this feeling a lot as a teen? I did. I think if I had to sum up my adolecent years, it would be this feeling more than any other that defined it. And yet, time and living has shown me that this fear is an illusion. Trust is real. Truth is real. Appearances may be dis-settling, but they are not what is real. "Nothing real can be threatened" is something my mother used to repeat--it makes a lot more sense in the light of this course.

Peace, and good thoughts to you!

Ilana

I just finished watching the Oprah show (I only watch the up-beat ones now), and it was so up-lifting. Because I'm from down under, we get the shows weeks behind, sometimes months and sometimes it's all over the place. Today's show was from March 2002. Oprah had guests on who's dreams had come true. The reality show about the insurance salesman who won a competition (courtesy of Ben Afleck and Matt Damon) and realised his dream to direct his own movie. The singing policeman who is now an opera singer, the woman who won $1 million for a sandwich and the businessman who used his money to help educate financially disadvantaged youth.

It was like a message to me because I had let go of my dreams thinking it was too late, I was too old blah blah blah! I've changed my mind. I choose to think that anything and everything is possible now for me and all of us!

May all your dreams come true

Marilyn

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Originally posted by ilanalydia:

Did you have this feeling a lot as a teen? I did. I think if I had to sum up my adolecent years, it would be this feeling more than any other that defined it. And yet, time and living has shown me that this fear is an illusion. Trust is real. Truth is real. Appearances may be dis-settling, but they are not what is real. "Nothing real can be threatened" is something my mother used to repeat--it makes a lot more sense in the light of this course.

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The insights have been flooding in lately, the more willing I become to really look and let go of what no longer serves me.

I somehow decided as a child that my parents, men, father and mother were impotent, ineffectual. It's only now that I have owned this as a projection and that subconsciously I've believed up till now that in fact I've been impotent.

What a relief to see that it's my distorted belief that is causing most of the holding back. Changing a belief is something I have control of!!

Thanks so much for your thoughts Ilana.

I so appreciate the opportunity to work out this belief. The dictionary definition of impotent: powerless; lacking all strength; helpless; ineffective.

I really feel this is a key that holds back my prosperity, and I'm gaining more clarity now.
Doesn't Wattle say something like start where you are with what you're doing now. Well, that's where the energy feels stuck for me. And I see the impotent issue underlies it.

It is childhood energy. Losing boundaries, feeling others had power over me, and the thinking just kept going more and more downhill. Now I'm climbing out of that hole.

No hurry is a hard one. Feels like so much time lost. Daily returning to reaffirm patience and trust. Ever renewing that new belief daily.

In the post that spoke of others dreams coming true on Oprah, I was sad to see my mind still was saying, yeah, it happens to others but not me. That is such an old mental tape. That too no longer serves me, and I choose to let it go now, and may a new healing and beneficial belief come to fill it's place.