Hi Luca,

Both Wally and Rebecca advise not to get into arguments on the subject. Or for anything else for that matter.

I found that amazing things happened when I stopped argueing with my wife about our business!

Hi Tom,

I find it a bit hard. It makes me feel a bit arrogant to refuse to argue about things. The reason being people don't see it as an argument, they see it as "having a conversation". So I end up just not mentioning the subject at all and thus not communicating with my girlfriend about it, since I know it'll probably end up in an argument depending on the subject.

So it's a bit delicate.

But I totally get the point of not getting into arguments at all on the subject, I can see very well the reason behind it. Nothing good is going to come from it and it will spoil my focus.

I'll be careful with conversations if they start going in the wrong direction.

Thanks for the advice,

luca

quote:

It makes me feel a bit arrogant to refuse to argue about things.

Well, Luca, how do you really know what anyone else is thinking (that they see it in a particular way)? That's just an opinion -- a thought -- you are holding about them, nothing more. And even if someone DOES prefer that you get into an argument with them, you are still the one making the choice for YOU and what you are creating in your life.

I don't know if you have any particular religious affiliation or background, but would it help to know that Jesus advised against arguing? "Agree quickly with thine adversary."

To me, it's actually more arrogant to argue because arguing is insisting that YOUR point of view is THE correct one, that you are right and the other person is wrong. If I find myself in a situation like that anymore I usually prefer just to say, "You could be right." (Agree quickly!) Since I don't know everything, that person COULD be right even if it doesn't look that way to me or make any sense to me.

No argument. And what's the point of winning one anyway? What have you really won? You haven't actually changed the other person's mind and now you've spent a good deal of energy focusing your thoughts in resistance and thoughts that can't bring you anything you really want. And right NOW, in the only time you have, you're not experiencing joy.

Arguing is a NO-win endeavor.

***

You might want to construct a new EXPECTATION and idea of your girlfriend instead of affirming that you will argue with her. You might envision a relationship quite different.

quote:

I find it a bit hard. It makes me feel a bit arrogant to refuse to argue about things. The reason being people don't see it as an argument, they see it as "having a conversation". So I end up just not mentioning the subject at all and thus not communicating with my girlfriend about it, since I know it'll probably end up in an argument depending on the subject.

Rebecca is spot on about arguments. Whenever I find myself about to go into argumentative mode, I always realize that a thought that insists that I am right and the other person wrong usually precedes it. And this thought is usually an accumulation of unhappy thoughts about this person, her attitude.. etc.

and it also good to know that what are facts now is only as true and as far as the person "seeing" it and observing it is able to discern.

Once a upon a time, people believed that the sun revolves around the earth. But, what was fact then happened to be true only because that was what people believed back then.

That is a great post and I really enjoyed reading the responses.
It is not a lie!!!
Let me explain, it's a choice, yes a choice.
Sharing.
This is bran new just happen at the beginning of the week. Lets go back a few days. On Friday I got a call from my doctor's office. Telling me to go to a lab and get some test. They've faxed the necessary paper work to the lab. Now this is out of the blue,So I go and on Monday meet with my doctor. Great news you are a diabetic... Since when, Since... don't know. See my doctor had a hunch that something wasn't right with me because of other conditions so he ordered some test.
Let me tell you this was not such good news. I have been working at loosing weight and getting back in shape after a work related injuries last June. I was also working on "tidying" my health choosing proper food exercising and so on. So at first I decided this is bad news. Then next morning during meditation I asked the usual question when I don't like an issue "what do I want instead" Came up with an answer and another question "how Am I going to deal with this" from that came answers and goals and a plan.By Wednesday I had it all figured it out. You see I have been working on my weight since just before Christmas, yeah I know wrong time to do that, in November the scale said 178 Lbs (80.9 Kg). Two weeks ago the scale spoke and said 164 Lbs.(74.5 Kg)Monday morning 167.6 Lbs (76.2 Kg) What's going on? Well if not dealt with properly in certain cases diabetes will do that.
My understanding is this I have a few minor health challenges I have been working at it using different techniques. Because of the diabetes certain things weren't working. I manged to get read of arthritis, breathing problems I had for years and then I my blood pressure needs attention and a couple of other minor things. The diabetes, in my case, is the cause of a few ailments. Now I can treat this and at the same time re program my DNA for the change I need. This is the Law of Attraction at work.
Why did my doctor made the decision he made. It is not his style.
Believe it or not but after only a week I have lost 3.5 Lbs, (1.6Kg) My blood pressure is near normal, the home blood test is down 2 points, and I feel great.
It is not a lie. It is a choice. Does anyone around knows about my situation? Nope Just you guys but then you're family... And when someone ask how I am, I tell the truth "I am great" You look like you've lost weight, they say, Yes indeed isn't it great?
Thank you for listening.
Luca Merci pour tes questions le débat ouvre beaucoup de portes. J'ai encore de la famille dans le sud de la France.
Love too all

A great method is to *reword* your affirmation statements so that they are 100 percent true (credit goes to Michael J. Losier, who wrote "Law of Attraction").

For example, begin your statements with,

"I am in the process of…"

or,

"I have decided to…"

This makes your statements truthful to both you and others, and therefore creates a clear mental path to your goals.

Equally important, it helps you clarify and visualize the actions you need to take.

I have encountered this situation in many ways, and the easiest solution came while I was teaching the concept of positive speech to my children...
Whenever you find yourself thinking or speaking of anything you do not want, IMMEDIATELY think and say what you want instead. An easy example of this is my children not liking what I'm cooking for dinner. They used to complain, whine and get upset if I'm cooking something they don't like, but how can I make them what they want if they haven't told me what it is!
They now understand that FIRST, they need to decide what they want(instead), then say what it is they want. It really is that simple! This applies to EVERYTHING, big or little...
A few years ago, I had gotten a flat tire. I couldn't drive my car, and found every possible way around the problem...getting rides to the grocery store, walking to the places I needed to go(which usually took all day),and telling everyone I met that I need help because I couldn't get to where I needed to go. I was miserable and had so many physical barriers to finding a normal solution to this problem. I really had no way of fixing it myself. It took me 3 months of literally being stuck, to finally ask myself what I really wanted...I wanted to drive my car, and I wanted it fixed for free. I wanted to have it fixed at my house, and I wanted someone to knock on my door and get it done.(After three months of walking and looking for help, I was sick of even asking for it) 15 minutes after deciding that was what I wanted, a neighbor knocked on my door wanting to borrow some milk...I had told him what I needed to get what I wanted, he found another neighbor to fix it (for free)...and I was driving my car within 3 hours!
I will never forget what I learned from this, Decide what I want, as soon as I realize I am experiencing something that I want to be different. If I am upset, I don't ask myself why, or how I can change my situation, I ask myself what would be the best possible experience,(what I really want!)

P.S.
Teaching other people around you about these concepts develops support, reinforcement, extra guidance, and a win-win environment to experience in!

quote:

It took me 3 months of literally being stuck, to finally ask myself what I really wanted

Great example, Ange1 -- and congratulations on taking only three months. Some of us can hold out for YEARS.

Luca, you say

“Let me give you an example: I start a company, and nobody is interested in my product so far. When thinking about it, I think it's going to work out just fine. But when talking about it, I can either say "well.. no customers so far and no positive signs" or say "it's all going fine".

Other example, say I have a teenage daughter and she has trouble at school and behavior issues. When talking about her, should I say "she has problems" or should I smile and say "it's all right". At the same time I am battling with myself to focus on the idea of her being fine, and the reality of dealing with her behavior.”

We work with teenagers to prevent drug, alcohol, and tobacco problems. Behavior is all we are dealing with. We are in the prevention business, not the rehabilitation business.

We use Mr. Wattles’ teaching to only talk in the most positive terms about the feelings not the situations. The situation may be a problem, we teach the teenagers how to solve problems. Your business has a problem and you need to do something.

Feelings are a different matter. Teenagers or you cannot stop having feelings, but they can stop talking (complaining) about them. Complaining give the feelings “power.” The teenage daughter has a problem and you are dealing with “her” feelings. How can you help her, solve the problem? Our understanding of Wattles’ teachings is that it is OK to talk about problems, not support negative feelings.

We stop teenagers talking about negative feelings, by having each teenager start the day by wearing a purple bracelet on his or her left wrist. Each time they complain (talking about negative feelings) they move the bracelet to the other wrist. They continue to do this until they can go 21 days “in a row” and NOT move their bracelet. It is harder than you think.

Problems can to be solved, Wattles is talking about not talking about negative feelings. This is how we use Wattles’ teachings to change behavior.

We are grateful that you have brought this issue to the forum and that we have the opportunity to share our experience with you.

Thanks again all, merci à tous.

I feel tons better about the whole issue (or non-issue ).

The thing about positive thinking is that it is pretty easy to focus on a positive issue, i.e. "attracting money" or "successful company". It gets tricky when you start digging around to check for limiting beliefs.

Example, I believe I can be successful in business and my company will be profitable. Easy.

I can also believe that for a company to be successful it needs initial capital. So no matter how much I focus on having a successful company, if at the same time I have a "hidden" belief about "capital required", it'll never work until I have the capital. Nothing is going to happen. Well, to be exact, the thinking stuff is reacting precisely to my thoughts. It gives me what I ask for. "Yes but no", or "yes if...".

It was a bit the case for the way I talked about the company, and limiting beliefs about peoples opinion and being honest etc. etc.

It required some digging to uncover the beliefs that were stopping me from moving forward happily.

And talking with you on the forum helps greatly to bring these beliefs to the surface so I can change them.

Cheers,

Luca

Luca,

I have been listening to the audio version of The Science of Getting Rich every night for the past week. I am AMAZED that even after listening to it so many times in a row that I am STILL finding new truths to apply to my life every time I listen to it - and more importantly, I am finding ways to actually apply those truths!

I believe that the biggest difference between the most recent publication to try and explain the power we all have (The Secret) and The Science of Getting Rich is that Mr Wattles explains that we have to "Act in a Certain Way." That is to say - focusing our feelings is really only the first step. Once we have our thoughts and feelings aligned with what we want, we have to ACT! The most obvious example of this is found in Ange1's post:

quote:

I had told him what I needed to get what I wanted, he found another neighbor to fix it (for free)

If she had not taken the ACTION of talking to that neighbor about what she wanted, she would not be driving her car yet!

Now, it is very possible that you will have to do more than just take one single action to align your physical reality with your thoughts, but without action on your part, all you have is a dream.

It is my belief that one must take focused action on the vision. To quote Mr. Wattles:

quote:

Do not give your creative impulse to original substance, and then sit down and wait for results. If you do, you will never get them. Act now. There is never any time but now, and there never will be any time but now. If you are ever to begin to make ready for the reception of what you want, you must begin NOW.*

*pages 40-41 The Science of Getting Rich PDF provided with this program.

Hi Luca,

Thank you so much for your post, it helped me clarify some questions I had for myself!

If I might offer my opinion, I am a firm believer in being grateful to the voice inside me that says - YUK! It helps me know when I'm ready to shift to something I really do want.

So for example, you state you started a business and have no customers (YUK indicator). If you say everything is peachy and smile, than you might be blocking something from the universe. If you say I have a business with no customers (YUK) can you help - maybe there is someone out there who would LOVE to help you grow your business and you both become amazingly rich for it.

I'm a business consultant and project manager by trade - my business is to help other businesses grow their business. If I can do it, I am successful and they are successful - but only if they acknowledge they are feeling YUK and need my help!!

Take care and good fortune!
Deb

quote:

Human nature being what it is, people are more inclined to support people/things that are succeeding rather than things that are not. By using the above method, not only do you put your situation in a positive light, you also get buy-in and support from others! Hope this helps!

Camille, this is sage advice. I have been in direct sales and sales management for forty years. I still treat every sales call as an opportunity to learn something. The label some would put on me is that I am a "question-based" salesperson. Actually, I'm more of a "student-based" salesperson.

I do ask a lot of questions, but I am always looking for opportunity to move into my student role, asking my customer, "Can you help me understand...?" etc., etc." Then I shut up (well, usually) and genuinely listen. As you rightly point out, people love to be on the success side of the equation--problem solvers; teachers.

In my naive student role, some might suggest that I am purposely being ignorant. Not so. I would estimate that almost 50% of the time, what someone else had told me was incorrect. Often times it was simply outdated information. More often, it turned out that my source was just guessing at the answer.