Hello everyone,

I would like to ask a question from your experience.

My understanding is that we should only talk and think about a situation in terms of our CMI, or how we want it to be, not about how it is.

This means we should avoid complaining about what we don't like about a situation and focus on our CMI.

Thing is, if we are currently experiencing a situation which is difficult, how can we say and think it is easy or positive without lying?

I tend to catch myself thinking about how bad a situation is (analyzing it). Then I correct myself and refocus on the end result goal. The current reality is however pretty bad, so it's hard to ignore it. This is especially hard when interacting with the other people involved.

Mr. Wattles specifically instructs to only talk in the most positive terms about the situation.

So if I'm stuck and someone asks, what should I say? That I am stuck or that it's ok?
If I am talking to someone about a problem, should I say it is a problem or say it's all going to be all right?

Because I feel like a bad salesman when I smile and am positive about something that is going badly wrong. And I feel that if people knew the truth from my perspective they would see me as a liar.

Any thoughts on this subject?

Thanks for your time,

Luca

I am wracking my brain as to how to best answer you specifically without a few pointers as to what is going on. However, you have brought up some interesting points.

Firstly, you say, "... that if people knew the truth FROM MY PERSPECTIVE they would see me as a LIAR."

Maybe from your current perspective things look grim but what about the view from another perspective? My experience tells me that there is no such thing as THE TRUTH only my truth, which often changes when I have more information or review a situation with hindsight. Some of the things that seemed bad at the time have proven to be the biggest blessings in the future.

Have you asked yourself what gift (life lesson) this experience is bringing you?

If you can believe that you live in a friendly universe that only wants good for you and that whatever is happening is ultimately for your benefit then you are not lying if you say that it must be uphill all the way from now on and that you know that your CMI is coming to pass.

When things that I don't particularly enjoy happen I tell myself that this is great, I must be ready for some big changes or I wouldn't have created this situation in the first place. And you know what? I actually believe it even though my ego wishes it was all a bit more pleasant.

Phew, I didn't realise that I had so much to say on the subject. Hope that helps.

Mozz (Inveterate brightsider)

Thanks for the answer. Good point. I guess once you make the decision to accept and believe that things are going to work out one way or another, you can relax about the current situation.

When I said "from my perspective" I mean that on one hand I am telling people "it's fine" while the insider view is "it's a real mess".

Let me give you an example: I start a company, and nobody is interested in my product so far. When thinking about it, I think it's going to work out just fine. But when talking about it, I can either say "well.. no customers so far and no positive signs" or say "it's all going fine".

Other example, say I have a teenage daughter and she has trouble at school and behaviour issues. When talking about her, should I say "she has problems" or should I smile and say "it's all right". At the same time I am battling with myself to focus on the idea of her being fine, and the reality of dealing with her behaviour.

Does that make sense?

It's a question of how much I can focus on my CMI vs the current reality, and thinking about the problems and not relaxing and trusting. While dealing with people who ask about the situation.

Cheers,

Luca

Luca, why not tell the truth? YOU get to choose what the truth is, so you could say, "Well, I'm in the process of finding solutions" or whatever fits.

All you have to do to be truthful, then, is choose to focus on possible solutions -- a clear CMI of the successful resolution, instead of continuing to focus on the problem situation.

Aha! thank you Rebecca.

So, I tell the truth but from the perspective of the situation evolving towards my CMI, without just describing the problem and leaving it at that.

Feels better

Hi Luca,

Great answers that you have recieved so far!

You might also want to think of problems as opportunities! I have found that finding solutions to opportunities rather than problems is easier!

Very true! This is a great forum. thanks to everyone for your support.

I'll focus on the solutions to opportunities point of view. Thinking about it, all these problems are always opportunities to practice some skill or principle of SOGR.

Cheers,

luca

Luca, your situation and story reminds me of a quote from Thomas Edison as he was inventing the incandescent light bulb. When an interviewer asked him if he got frustrated because he failed so often before getting it right, he responded with something to the effect of, "Oh, not at all. I simply learned 10,000 ways that it did not work."

One truth could have been perceived as constant failure and the other truth was an invaluable education. Edison truth was education he was getting.

The laws of electricity and physics were the truths he was dealing with and he simply needed a better understanding of the law.

Paul

I have been practicing for the past few days. It's a bit a question of pretending for a bit until your mind gets used to it, and then it seems natural.

I have also kept observing successful people I come in contact with, and I noticed two things (which they probably don't realize themselves):

1- Their success is often caused by a chance occurrence or a coincidence, and often in domains where common sense would not expect success

2- They always talk about their business and their ideas as pure genius, always considering success as a given, as a no-brainer. As if it was obviously going to work

They just ignored current reality and ignored popular opinions (internal reference points vs external) and convinced themselves that what they do is "excellent".

What I (we) need to do is deliberately go through this process of seeing our goals as a given success (expect success ). And play a bit with the fact that we don't actually "know for sure" that it is going to work. Unless we believe we do, in which case it does. haha

quote:

Their success is often caused by a chance occurrence or a coincidence

It may look like that, but if you understand SOGR and Law of Attraction, there are no chance occurrences or coincidences. Everything is created/attracted by the energy of thought.

The fact that these people just EXPECT success shows that they're not venturing off into thought that moves them AWAY from what they desire. For some people, that bedrock belief in themselves and their projects is just natural and unconscious. Others have to learn how to do it.

Thanks Rebecca, indeed I have to learn how to do it ;-).

I mentioned the "chance occurrence" to highlight the fact that "you can get rich in any business and in any location", but you are quite right, there is no "random" chance.

Anyway, regarding the subject of lies and apparences, I am thinking that it is actually part of the game of life, a bit like in a theatre play.

In the same way we dress in a specific way for business occasions, even if it doesn't fit with our habitual style, we can "talk in a specific way" when mentioning our business, even if it is a simplified version or optimistic version.

So long as I'm not misleading people, I think it's fair enough and I shouldn't make such a big issue of it.

The important part remains that bedrock belief in success and in the SOGR principles.

In which case I won't be lying when I'm saying things are working out fine even if they aren't "yet", because it's a fact.

Gosh I hope that made sense. it sure did when I started writing

quote:

In which case I won't be lying when I'm saying things are working out fine even if they aren't "yet", because it's a fact.

That's just telling the truth in advance.

There's NO benefit in any way whatsoever in talking any way OTHER than positively about your business. (And that can be done even when taking stock and confronting problems that need handling.)

Luca,

The fact that you're exploring this faithfully and creating the experiences you need tells me you're making progress every day.

Now isn't that a wonderful truth?

"I'm making progress every day."

Excellent, I like that

Telling the truth in advance.

Merci Rebecca

Hi Luca,

Here's something that has helped me:

If someone asks you about a situation that is not going particularly well, instead of saying

"Things aren't so good"

you can say

"Things are going well! I'm currently working on (state your challenge/problem), and as a matter of fact, I could use your help!"

Human nature being what it is, people are more inclined to support people/things that are succeeding rather than things that are not. By using the above method, not only do you put your situation in a positive light, you also get buy-in and support from others! Hope this helps!

Camille

Camille, I like it! Welcome to the course.

Thanks Camille

Hi Luca

Something else I have found helpful is to list all the things that have eventuated on your CMI even little things, having evidence that it is working for you helps.

This helps you see you are on track and then you can be even more grateful for past and new things and for tricky situations being worked through with greater understanding, I think we need this greater understanding to allow the flow of what we DO want to come into our lives.

I have also discovered that I edit my CMI quite a bit, it is a good idea to review it daily.

Even the way it is written, becomes apparent when you need to change it as it shows up how you think.

For me this is where I can see true progress, quite amazing,

Hope this helps too.

Thanks for this question and the responses. I can certainly relate to this quandary. Yes, I have experienced it quite often.
It's good to have people here back up the idea of stating things in a positive manner. There's almost a pressure, I think, to sound negative and cynical in the larger world, even though it's a complete waste.
I will keep in mind the "I'm working on it" idea. It's the truth. And as long as one is working on it in the certain way, it is then going well.
Enlisting others help is of course an excellent idea. Goes along with the results of studies that show that a person who does a small favor for another person will like that other person more. If they harm them, they will like them less.
Showing you need a little help or are open to a little input from others makes you seem more human, and thus more likable and approachable. Most people do the opposite.
But it's not like you're pulling something out of thin air, you're just building on what is already in process.
Cheers!

Yes indeed there is pressure out there

I realize I had a problem with the "FACT". I had people in my life insisting heavily on my mistakes or shortcomings, and when I tried to find a way out, they would insist and say "you can't deny it, it's a FACT!!!".

For example "you don't have any customers, you don't have enough money, blablabla".

The thing is, yes it IS a fact. Can't deny it.

The trick is, it's not the "only" fact, and the trap is to focus on it and to exclude all the other positive considerations.

So yes, whatever problem I have is a fact and can't be denied. But who cares? The point is what you decide to focus on and where you put your energy.

And there are a ton of other facts pointing to my previous and future successes, so I can choose to focus on these instead.

And now I know how to deal with these "attacks".

Thanks for the support

Luca