Hi everyone,
Its been ages, months since I last posted, when I first started the PG course. Indeed, its weeks since I last read anything in the forums because time has seemed so tight lately. But reading through the recent posts, I've been reminded what a great place it is and have pledged to look and take part more often.

I wasn't planning to post tonight, but strangely enough, while I've been reading here tonight my partner has reminded me of his negativity towards SOGR. I can never talk to him about it (have tried). In many ways we are on the same wavelength, but in spiritual matters we are very different. I know that I have to accept this, and cannot try to change him; but sometimes his attitude brings that 'sinking' feeling to my stomach because it makes me doubt.

I just wondered whether anyone else has got this problem, or any ideas of coping with it. I have to say that he doesn't usually know when I'm working on SOGR and my plan is to show him that it works when my CMI shows up. And I try not to let his opinion cloud my vision.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

With gratitude, Maisy

Hi Maisy,

That is a big problem for me also. To hold onto my beliefs despite having no-one I can share my path with - except here really, and to some extent my business. My husband is not at all into any of this, and it does take work sometimes to really hold onto what I feel is true. I think using the forum and the book and the course all help ...

Jayne

Hello Maisy and Jayred. I can't directly identify with your question but I would like to offer an opinion.

My partner, while very positive about what I am doing with SOGR hasn't embraced it to the degree that I have. That seems to be improving with time. My guess is that in your situations, the starting point is just “at a different location”. I have been living and practicing SOGR for myself (and on myself). This has led to some unbelievable changes in my life and my relationships. I didn't try to change her (not that this was always true!). I realized that this is about me. While still adjusting to my improved way of thinking (and acting) she has become much more positive about all of it. I believe if you continue to think and act in The Certain Way, you too will experience some wonderful transformations that will traverse many areas of your lives.

Jayred, regarding this point:

quote:

and it does take work sometimes to really hold onto what I feel is true.

I think if you look at this as work, this is what you will experience. Relax a little and have fun with all of it. Just looking at it from a different perspective will put a smile on your face.

quote:

Originally posted by Dave M:
Hello Maisy and Jayred. I can't directly identify with your question but I would like to offer an opinion.

My partner, while very positive about what I am doing with SOGR hasn't embraced it to the degree that I have. That seems to be improving with time. My guess is that in your situations, the starting point is just “at a different location”. I have been living and practicing SOGR for myself (and on myself). This has led to some unbelievable changes in my life and my relationships. I didn't try to change her (not that this was always true!). I realized that this is about me. While still adjusting to my improved way of thinking (and acting) she has become much more positive about all of it. I believe if you continue to think and act in The Certain Way, you too will experience some wonderful transformations that will traverse many areas of your lives.

Jayred, regarding this point:

quote:

and it does take work sometimes to really hold onto what I feel is true.

I think if you look at this as work, this is what you will experience. Relax a little and have fun with all of it. Just looking at it from a different perspective will put a smile on your face.

Hi Dave,

Thank you for your feedback. Yes, I do think things will change as I change - I don't know how that will manifest, but I have already noticed myself handling some of the 'negatives' in our relationship differently.

As for the working hard part, I was aware of that even as I was writing it - that it's not meant to be about hard work - just how I'm feeling at the minute!!

Jayne

Hi Jayred and Dave,
Your comments are very helpful, and from reading about problem neighbours on the forum I think I need to send out positive thoughts and love to my other half - and just trust that all is well and as it should be, after all we are where we are for a reason. I know he has seen changes in me and my attitude to life in general, I wonder if he's feeling a bit insecure, but it doesn't help if we can't talkabout it.
Well anyway, I know I am on the right path and I'm sure some will rub off on him eventually!

Dave, your comment about not seeing this as 'work' is a great reminder, thanks.

Thanks, guys! I'm very grateful.
Maisy

Hello Maisy,

I can certainly relate to your topic. Althought my husband has no clue to my involment with the SOGR. He would just laugh at me and make me feel like an idiot ( or I should say I would allow myself to feel like one). He is so negative about life in general. I suppose before I start ratttling on I should say that I too am looking for advice. I am having a very difficult time inside. Such turmoil over the past couple of weeks and I feel myself slipping. I have been in the deep dark hole of depression for so many years and just when I thought I was making progress I feel the tugging of all the old familiar emotions pulling me back down. It has been awhile since I have posted and realized today that this is where I need to be. And everyday I need to be here for support and positive inspirations. I know I need to be around like minded people but it's so hard for me I feel I'm slipping away. My husband sleeps all the time, once he gets home from work he is on the couch until we go to bed. He is so lazy when it comes to me, you know, attention, affection, a kind word from time to time. I don't doubt his love for me but can't understand his laziness towards me. I then allow myself to feel less important, less attractive, less of a person and to think that there must really be something wrong with me. It's as if I'm two different people. One knows who she is, what she wants and is ready to go for it. The other is the little girl who is afraid to ask. How dare she want something out of life. I was making such good progress for me and now look at me. Sometimes I just want to give up but I know I can't this time. No matter how he is I have control of my own emotions and I truly feel that being on this forum everyday will be the only thing that will save me.
Okay...I've totally not helped you at all but perhaps you can help me by just being a forum friend to me. And I'm gratful in advance.

Hi cj
I'll do what I can to help you, I'm sure that'll help me too; and you are right to come to the forums every day - maybe the best time is when your husband is asleep on the sofa so that you don't dwell on it, and get yourself some positivity.

On another completely different note, have you thought about why he's so tired that he needs to sleep like that? Actually a few years ago, I would get in from work, have dinner and fall asleep till bedtime - then sleep the night through, and not want to get up in the mornings. How did I change? I changed my diet from eating lots of packaged and processed foods to eating mostly fresh unadulterated food,(I'm not vegetarian); I started drinking water, cut down on wheat, dairy, tea, coffee, soft drinks etc. After just a few weeks I suddenly realised I was staying awake in the evenings (a A-HA moment)and had LOADS more energy (I MEAN loads). My husband was so impressed that he made improvements to his diet (eventually) too! (He might have a healthier body, but still a negative mind - my next task!)

But seriously, I started learning a lot about food/diet and the food industry and got so interested that I decided thats where my future lies, and 3 years ago I started a degree in Nutritional Medicine, (2yrs to go). So you can see why I asked the question "why is your husband so tired"?

I hope all my rambling has given you food for thought -excuse the pun. Also if its any help, when I feel like I'm in a bad frame of mind, I try to use affirmations such as
'I am positive and strong' and
'All is well' and more recently
'I have nothing to fear'

Finally, as I said in my last post, I'm going to start sending positive thought out to him and have a CMI of how I want him/our relationship to be. I'll keep you posted, please do the same,

Grateful as always,
Maisy

quote:

Originally posted by cj:
He is so lazy when it comes to me, you know, attention, affection, a kind word from time to time. I don't doubt his love for me but can't understand his laziness towards me. I then allow myself to feel less important, less attractive, less of a person and to think that there must really be something wrong with me. I was making such good progress for me and now look at me. Sometimes I just want to give up but I know I can't this time.

Hey cj

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you...your words bring back so many memories for me.

All these things you have mentioned in your post about your partner are a mere reflection of how you treat yourself. He is just the angel in your life at this time to provide you with the lessons at hand.

We are unable to receive any of the things we wish for until we are doing them for ourselves, whether it be mentally, spiritually, physically or emotionally. Maybe you could be open to giving yourself more attention, more affection, more nurturing, more love and especially, more kind words. Once you do, you will be amazed at how others treat you.

We have a saying in Australia, "Monkey See, Monkey Do".....in short this means, others will most always respond to how we act (and very rarely to the words we speak), so as you begin to treat yourself with the respect and love you most certainly deserve, like attracts like, and it just rubs off on those around us.

Its like you light up with a whole new frequency, and viola, watch the magic happen.

Maybe also remember, chaos appears always just prior to, or in the middle of change. So get ready for your next breakthrough.

You can do it, with ease and grace. Have that invincible faith and trust, so often referred to in the book.

Enjoy the magic, and know that YOU are the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

RainbowLight

Hi guys

Just wanted to add that you get what you focus on...and what are you focusing on here? All the bad stuff! What are the GOOD things? Maisy, love that you are going to include how you want your relationship to be in your CMI - that's lovely.

And I wanted to share with you an experience I had yesterday. I went to a family christening - my family are great people, and have no idea what I am talking about when I talk about purpose, passion, joy, metaphysics...so I don't! But what I did do yesterday was to focus on what is great about them - they are incredibly loving.

Although I do not get understanding from them, I do get total unconditional love. This was a beautiful thing that allowed me to ignore any comments about what I 'should' be doing with my life and just focus on how loved I was by my family. It made what could have been a 'bad' day beautiful.

Love

Donna.x

quote:

Originally posted by Donstar:

But what I did do yesterday was to focus on what is great about them - they are incredibly loving.

Although I do not get understanding from them, I do get total unconditional love.

Love

Donna.x[/QUOTE]

Hi Donna,

That was a new thought for me - that understanding does not equal love, and that one can exist without the other ... It will help me to think about that one. Thank you.

Jayne

Hi Maisy, and everyone else.

Great thread, and one of the biggest problems we face when we finally GET IT.
Since I have been mentoring people this subject comes up time and again.
These teachings have been around for thousands of years and we are all very lucky that they have survived. They have survived by people hanging on to them in the face of extreme adversity. As the world changes and information becomes easier to obtain many more people seem to want to learn about the principles taught in SOGR [ and other similar teachings ] Some of those teachings are wrapped up in religion, some are revamped by entrepreneurs and delivered to hollywood stars. It has been the same for years that the various factions fight for supremacy in the deliverance of the same message. I had been caught up in all these different methods of telling the same story for years. It was not until I stumbled on SOGR and Rebeccas great course, that I really started to feel comfortable. It was the first time that I had experienced this laid back approach. You were told that you could call the POWER whatever you wanted, as it was the same one everywhere, why not?. It also said that you should concentrate on the one teaching, only to the point that you GET IT, once you had the basic beliefs and knowledge, research other peoples ideas.
Getting to your point Wallace actually says do not try and force this onto anyone and do not get into heated discussion about it. Talk about it and live it certainly. When you actually really start living SOGR people continually keep asking you questions, that is the time to drip feed your knowledge. Do not preach just subliminally offer information.
I think that the advice that I have for you, is to just follow SOGR to the letter and the Formless Wonder will look after your partner.
Make your partners desire to look into this part of your CMI.
I hope this helps.
Abundance to All

Croz from OZ

Hi

My wife is negative also, but we dont talk about SOGR, we have our time together and our own space and I give her the same freedom as I expect so whilst we are different and have different likes and beliefs we still Love each other and respect each other for who we are.

I Hope this is some help.

Rohan

Negative partners, eh?

Hmm. Well, we attract EVERYTHING in our lives. Whatever we give our attention to -- our focus, faith, and feeling -- is basically what we're "asking" for; we're attracting things that are of the same "essence" as that thought. So how do y'all suppose these "negative" partners got into your space and stay there?

Surely none of you think your partner is 100% negative, right? So how might YOU shift your thinking about your partner so that the part of him or her being shown to you is what you WANT instead of what you do NOT want?

Hi,

Ya dont tell them. You dont mention it, you do not "waste time arguing about it." You just do it.

You do it and live it and be it. At some point it is so obvious that they cannot deny it. And you just be a living example.

Why argue and struggle.

I have the same thing with two people; a brother and a friend. I have tried and for my efforts just frustrated or even pulled down a bit in my joy. So I dont mention it. Wow that has saved me energy and has increased my happiness.

I figure when things are so good and obvious that at some point they will say, probably silently to themselves, that there might be something to copy here.

It has even helped to relax and not judge them. I know my blood pressure is better off for it. And I just think of the positive things about them and I find myself in a better mood and they seem to be in a better mood more often than before.

Well, there it is and I hope this helped.

Jim

Hi all,

My husband was very negative about SOGR in the beginning and I guess it's coz I tried to push it down his throat once I thought I had a grip on it. He is still skeptical (and scared of some of the manifestations) but is slowly changing and becoming more accepting. What brought about the change? I stopped talking about SOGR and instead concentrated on practicing what I was learning. The changes that he has seen in my life, which have spilled over to him, and my positive attitude have amazed him. I've also made it a habit to write something nice about him in my diary on a daily basis and to appreciate him more. He's a great guy and there is a lot of good in him that I was ignoring as I focused on his not accepting SOGR. So, as others have said, don't force it, change your focus and go with the flow and changes will come.

Cheers,
Wanja

Maisy,

Good Morning! I'm grateful to be here 3 days in a row now. Yes, I have often wondered why he sleeps so much and have suggested him making a visit to the doctor but his reply was 'why? so he can tell me I'm depressed? I already know that'. I have been making small changes in our diet (we both could benefit from some weightloss).
I really like your idea about including you and your partners relationship in your CMI. I really never gave that one much thought...duh! I commit from this moment forward to that.
I commit to stay focused on the positive and to realize that negative thoughts will still creep in but when they do I will push them away. I'm going to start my meditation again. That always brought such a calmness to me.
Thank you Maisy for your support. I am grateful for you!

cj

Hi cj,
I missed yesterday, went to my dance class that is full of lovely people (I'm grateful), so thanks for your reply. We'll have to monitor how the CMI's go. And do let me know how you do with your meditiation, its agood idea and something I've not done for a while, either.

And thanks to everyone else, there's some really excellent reminders of how best to deal with negativity and although I've considered it all before, its so easy to forget that its your own projection coming back at you....an old AHa moment coming around again, and just when its needed. I also have family who are so unbelieving (I use that word instead of the 'n' word) and not open to my way of thinking that I am wondering how it can be that I could be attracting all that. Must be a lesson or ten in there. On the other hand my closest friends are very much of the same mind as me.

As Wanja says, its a brilliant idea to write something nice every day to focus on the good things. Thanks Wanja.

And Donstar, with Christmas coming I'm going to get into a collective 'good things' mind set regarding the family. Thank you.

Croz, what can I say, you are 'the wise man of oz'! Thank you

I'm grateful to all of you
Maisy

That's good Rebecca, just what I needed to hear. My neg person is my 85 year old mother who insists that she is one step away from devastation at any minute. I'm not even going to tell stories to prove my point because I don't want to hear myself say it and I'm sure you folks don't want to hear it either. I'll just change my expectation to something I would rather have. grin.
Diane

quote:

I'm not even going to tell stories to prove my point because I don't want to hear myself say it and I'm sure you folks don't want to hear it either.

Yes, DEFINITELY stop telling those stories -- to yourself or anyone. That's just asking for more of that stuff.

Instead, start looking for the good and telling yourself and others about THAT. It's so much more interesting and feels so much better. And, of course, the RESULTS ...

quote:

I also have family who are so unbelieving (I use that word instead of the 'n' word) and not open to my way of thinking that I am wondering how it can be that I could be attracting all that.

Actually, it's really not hard at all to understand HOW you could be attracting all that.

It's quite simply YOUR ATTENTION to all that. When that's what you focus on, that's what MUST come to you, by Law of Attraction.