I dont know how to be a self-confidence man, i always make myself unconfidence . it is obviously shown when i make a choice. i am always hesitated. i dont know how to change it .
self-contempt is my feature . maybe it comes from my family bakcground . and i want to change it ,can u tell me how?
thanx.


Jeff

Hi all & Jeff,

Here is a very simple method that helps everyone to become more confident:
stand in front of a mirror and smile at yourself for 5 minutes at a time.Keep at it, and time yourself! it may start with a grimace but keep doing it!
Do this at least 3 times daily, and expect success!
You could add the thought:I fully and totally accept myself.
(if you can bear the thought.... interesting expression that!)

Blessings
Ben
PS and keep doing SOGR!

Never forget, abundance is our birthright.

Hi Jeff,
Fake it till you make it
I do! It's hard at first, but it does get easier. Start with at least five minutes a day, repeat to yourself that you've got confidence, until you can feel it. And the feeling is great! You feel like you are on top of the world and can do anything. Well it's great, but when you go outside into the real world, you feel like deflated baloon, and if you got to make a decision, it feels even worse, right? Then you wait for someone else to make it for you, and you go along with it, even if you don't agree with it, right? Than comes self-contempt, because inside of yourself you know exactly what your decision should be, but haven't got the confidence to voice it, in case you upset or offend anyone. I bet you avoid confrontations, or agree with someone else's point of view on the subject even if you don't really agree with it. Am I right? And you hate yourself for it, for being weak. And there goes self-contempt again.
Maybe it comes from your family background? Excuse! Get-out clause! Something to justify yourself with, so you don't feel so bad.
Hey Jeff, I am not having a go at you, I was there for many years, and still am not completely out of it,but hey, I fake it. And it feels great! Try it!
Even for five minutes at a time, say what you really think, make a decision that you are comfortable with and stick by it no matter what. You may feel your face burning and your palms sweating, but inside you will feel absolutely great, like great weight has been lifted off your shoulders, like you are ten feet tall. When you get home you can die of embarasment if you want, but when you are out there, pretend like you are the most confident person in the world. You'll notice how differently people treat you when you pretend to be confident. They don't know you fake it.
It may sound too hard, but even if you limit yourself to a short periods of time, eventually, like with everything else that requires practise, you will get really good at it. And you will begin to crave that feeling of greatness that confidence brings, and it will become easier, until the moment comes when you won't have to force yourself.
Well, I sincerely hope that I was of some help here. Wishing you all the best :rolleyes

Hi Jeff,

Firstly I would have to say to you you only THINK you are not confident, honestly it takes a lot of confidence to confide what we think our faults are & you have already displayed that you have the confidence to send such a private detail about yourself to a board asking for help! That in itself takes guts my dear!

Also I note you refer to your family as a cause/reference point of this trait you say you display, I am sure you have heard them say this about you and so have taken this on as truth... our families are close to us emotionally (if we let them be) & they can be a GREAT help or hinderance (lucky we can consciously choose our friends isn't it?! LOL). It is a hard thing at times to come to the understanding that those closest to us may not REALLY know & understand us as we think they do, but really in the end it is up to us as individuals whether we want to 'buy' into what they say as gospel or not.

When I want to develop a part of myself more I imagine what I would FEEL like if I was suddenly like that, feel what you believe you would act like if you were confident imagine that whenever you feel you are not confident, then when you get more used to the IDEA start to act that idea out in situations just a bit in the beginning & secondly do not 'run' the thoughts you don't want in your head (if you do not want to be unconfident don't keep thinking of yourself as not confident~ It's like a reverse habit we try to develop here!). I consciously 'turn' my thoughts from what I don't want & imagine the thought/actions/outcome that I do want, it is an ongoing process but just like everything it becomes a habit over time a good habit (yes habits can be good too )
I hope this helped you a bit Jeff.

Katie~ Who believes I am WORTHY of being heard & expressing my personal beliefs

First look at the picture you reflect of yourself
a stupid looking baby.
well any way cofidence is built on success.
you need to go back and find some little success in your life and envision them and how well you did at that. then find somthing you do well and creat a vision of it and then do it feel the feeling from it. (it could be just running a block) you need to focus on the positve. do not let the voices in your mind tell you anythin but positives it is your choice to what you listen to .

Karl R Baker

may be i have the same problem!
but now i feel better after readed this post!
thx every one!

hi all ,and thanks all
i will try as u said .
i think i didnt let u down!
trust me
thanx

Hi Jeff-Yu: You have got some good information
on how to be a "Self confident man" It is not easy
to change but you have the will to and with prac-
tise you will one day be a tower of Self Confidence. You may get further help from the
following website: WWW.positive-club.com.
This site offers a range of E-books for download, and there are books on overcoming shyness and how
to be Self Confident. The best part is that the site is FREE to join and all downloads are FREE.
Incidentally they also offer a free download of
"Our book", The Science of Getting Rich,along
with a large selection of other inspirational
books. Great site and all FREE..
I wish you all the best and just keep on believing.
God Bless.

To bocabill
i have downloaded the ebook ---"how to develop our self-confidence", but it have a password to extract the rar package, do u know the password . thanx

To get the password, all you need to do is join. It's free.

Thanks bocabill, I've also enjoyed visiting that site and have now joined too.

Best wishes

Wilx

but i didnt get the password, although i did it as u said.


can u give me the password.