I am after some wisdom on being owed money. Last year, I lent a friend my life savings. She was an old friend and I thought (and she promised) that I would get paid back as soon as possible. I mean she is a millionaire in assets and it was like her luck had run dry (because she was in the property business) and she needed helping bridging her finances. I fell pregnant (unplanned but soooooooooooo happy) and asked her from then (last August) if I could have the money back asap. I must have asked her 100 times since then. She no longer answers my calls, messages or emails. She lives in Switzerland and I live in Dubai and I can't just pop over to hers. I need my money back, I have a new born baby and am setting up a business. Am I too attached to this money? No amount of visualisation is bringing it back or getting a response.
I lent this money with my heart and I am upset that she is treating me like this now.
all advice would be appreciated

Much love xxx

quote:

I am upset that she is treating me like this now.

From what I understand, Source only responds to how we feel. When we're feeling upset about something, no matter what the reason, the Universe will only give us an experience that mirrors being upset.

I think that's why prosperity teachers tell us to forgive everyone everything. ("Forgive us our debts as we forgive those who debt against us.")

It seems doesn't matter now that you gave with you heart. What seems to matter now is how you currently feel.

Of course, if you felt no lack you might not feel upset at all. So, I suppose your upset feelings are grounded in a lack belief.

It seems to me, as difficult or as counter-intuitive as it may be, you need to get to where you feel perfectly fine or at peace about all this.

Phil

I agree with Phil.

Remember that the universe is trying to give you all the money that you want and need. It can't do that if you don't fuel it with good feelings. Your good feelings provide the power behind all the blessings you are waiting to receive.

The money that you used to have, you no longer have. I think you need to let go of the idea that it is rightfully yours. You will have what you need as soon as you stop insisting that it come from the direction you expect.

I think it was Julia that said something like this: "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." It's so true. Those poisonous feelings only hurt ourselves -- they have no effect on the other person and only a counterproductive effect on the universe. Throw them out!

Focus on love, abundance, joy, and gratitude and you will have all that you dream of very soon.


Love and blessings,
Rachel

Thank you Rachel. Good point about "direction" because we are not to mess with the How

God bless you,

Caroline
My Gift To You: 50,000 Guaranteed Visitors To Your Site

Thank you to evey one for taking the time. a few weeks ago, I had a chat with my husband about this and released the anxiety behind the money - it was like I had written it off. In the past few days, my thoughts dragged me down and brought back the fear and feeling of lack. I really did work on this and today she contacted me and asked for my bank details so she could pay me back slowly. She apologised and said she wanted to speak. I am still doing the course and I dont always understand why things like this happen. Today, I have also been questioning whether I would lend anyone money again or whether there is a lesson in here for me to learn?

On another positive, about my business, in the past few days I have had some very very encouraging calls. I now have to start selling. I am feeling so uplifted people

Much love xx

quote:

released the anxiety behind the money - it was like I had written it off. In the past few days, my thoughts dragged me down and brought back the fear and feeling of lack. I really did work on this and today she contacted me and asked for my bank details so she could pay me back slowly. She apologised and said she wanted to speak. I am still doing the course and I dont always understand why things like this happen. Today, I have also been questioning whether I would lend anyone money again or whether there is a lesson in here for me to learn?

So you chose to shift your thinking from letting this drag you down to releasing anxiety.

And your friend got in touch, apologized, and wants to make arrangements to pay you back.

That sounds wonderful to me.

Here's something to consider: When we go into anxiety about the money, we also generally go into judgment and condemnation about the person who isn't paying us back.

So what kind of response can we expect from someone about whom we are holding THOSE thoughts? The only thing we could attract from them is something of the essence of the thoughts we're holding.

Letting go of all of that opens the way.

Consider, too, how it feels to be the friend who has found herself in a bind and unable to pay. Don't you imagine that for most people it would be frightening, embarrassing and humiliating? Can't you imagine that you might want to hide and avoid rather than have to face the friend to whom you'd made promises that it feels like you can't keep?

I'm not saying any of us ever NEEDS to feel that way, but, honestly, we've all been there one way or another, haven't we?

So when we can remember that, then we can feel compassion instead of condemnation. And we can choose to be a friend and open up the communication ourselves in a way that alleviates the other person's anxiety instead of coming down hard on them.

(I'm not saying you came down hard on her, BuddhistChick; I don't know. This is just a great example you've provided.)

Consider: If I call you a hundred times wanting to know where my money is and letting you know how much I NEED it, is that going to help you get it any faster or make you want to talk to me?

On the other hand, if I let go of my own anxiety and thinking I MUST get THAT money from YOU, might I feel much better myself -- and even feel better about you? And then what might I attract? Let's see, I stop thinking: the money isn't coming ... she isn't paying me back ... she's treating me badly, etc., etc. OK, so now I'm not creating more and more of THAT kind of experience. Ahhhhhh ... relief.

As for the question about whether or not to lend money in the future, well, YOU will create what YOU experience. So it all really does depend on how you think of it.

Here's something I've done and can recommend. Write down the specifics of the loan in a kind of Letter of Agreement but leave out the legal-sounding mumbo jumbo and just make the specifics clear. AND write about what a lovely experience it will be for the people involved and the intention that this transaction will strengthen the relationship.

This isn't like writing a contract so that later on you can pound someone with it in a courtroom. It's just so that you can both look at it and say, yes, we both understand what we're doing and why and we agree. You can even include how you'll handle things if something should happen that would prevent the timely repayment. Keep it friendly, keep it loving. It works.

quote:

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 1 scene 3
Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 - 1616)

This 'ancient wisdom' seems to be applicable even today.

All the best from Toronto,
Russ

Not bad, Russ.

But I like Rebecca's idea better. We get what we expect, so if we expect the transaction to go well, it will. I have both borrowed, and lent money many times. Fear, doubt and resentment are not conducive to the transaction going well. Love, trust, and belief in abundance are.

Just sayin......

Love and blessings,
Rachel

I want to share a small incident about money owed to me. Though it’s small, and the context is different than yours, I believe it’s meaningful.

I had made a $10 bet with a co-worker, about the outcome of some sports game. We shook hands on it, and I took this to mean, if I lose I pay; if he loses he pays. Simple enough, right?

So, as it turned out, I won. But then he made out like it wasn’t really a ‘serious’ bet, and he didn’t owe me the money.

Now, at first I thought, “What a cheater this guy is,” etc., etc. But this line of thinking just got me upset. And, as have been studying and understand Spiritual Principles, it doesn’t matter WHY we believe we may be RIGHT about being upset; being upset will just give us more to be upset about.

So, I believed I needed to change how I thought about this, and get to where I could be completely at peace with it.

What I did was, I silently said to the Universe, “I’m going to drop this matter. If I am ‘owed’ this money, then I expect to get in some good way, even if not from this person.” Now, here is what happened.

Where I work I often have to take stairs in between floors. Many of us do. But within the hour, on the very day that I ‘gave it up to the Universe’ I went to go up the stairs, and what is lying on the stairs? A ten dollar bill. I look around. No one is around.

I wait about a minute. Still, no one around. So, I pick it up and take it.

I don’t know what you think, but I believe the Universe did this, and put me in the stairs at just the time for me to find and pick up this ten dollars. (Why didn’t someone else find it? Why me? People are constantly using these stairs.)

I also believe that me getting to peace had everything to do with it.

In other areas of my life – with relationship troubles, lack of work, lost keys, unexpected problems, etc., etc. – I’ve purposely done the ‘get to peace’ thing, and it seems it consistently causes, allows or enables everything to work out wonderfully somehow.

Phil

That's really cool, Phil!

It's funny how we like to dictate how the universe is supposed to work -- and we get so upset when it doesn't!

It reminds me again of the small boy I saw pushing mightily against a door. He couldn't open it... until someone suggested he pull. Then it was easy.

We're all like that sometimes, aren't we?

Great story! Thanks again,
Rachel