I don't know if I will ever get help, and I wish I would.

Recently my friends have opened a veg restaurant. I have also been considering to sell veg crackers and veg bread. I have been dreaming this for a long time and have been playing with it. Not until recently that I want to make it happen. And my friends belong to the same church group of mine. They opened a restaurant because they got the lotto money. I can only start small doing what I like to do.

If I don't let them know the formula, it seems I am very selfish, and we are supposed to be selfless in God's name. But if I let them know the formula, will it harm my small business? They may have the time and space to do the same as me on top of what they are doing now
(offer different recipes to customers), and I am enriching someone else's dream, but what about my own?

Can someone here solve my dilemma?

First of all, you do not have a dilemna....

Your friends have a restaurant. You have recipes for crackers and bread. You and your friends can do your own separate endeavors forever, if you want. Each of you can be highly successful without competing with one another. There is plenty to go around!

Another idea would be to share your recipes with them. You could sell them outright or ask for a portion of the profits of their sales of the veg crackers and bread. You could offer to be their supplier. That would help their business and grow yours faster than you are doing on your own. It's a win/win situation...

My first thought when I read that your friend's had opened up a veg resturant was "What an incredible opportunity to sell your bread and crackers"

I don't see competition at all. Your friends have taken on the costs of the space, staff, advertising/marketing, customer service, etc. I think it is a perfect situation to get your foot in the door. Bake some samples and approach your friends with the idea of you being a supplier and they may be glad that it is one less thing they have to worry about. Plus they know you which gives you an edge.

If they are open to it, they could also retail some your items as well.

quote:

If I don't let them know the formula, it seems I am very selfish, and we are supposed to be selfless in God's name.

What do you mean by this: "we are supposed to be selfless in God's name?"

And who says you have to give away your "formula?"

You may choose to, but it's a CHOICE. And the other suggestions here are excellent.

Notice, PLEASE, that the other suggestions -- which are totally NON-competitive -- have less to do with ACTION than with your THINKING.

Start there. Look for solutions, look for ways YOU and they can benefit from the situation. I'd agree that this could be a huge opportunity for you. But that will depend entirely on how you choose to look at it.

BTW, they likely did NOT "open a restaurant because they got the lotto money." They likely opened the restaurant because they desired to do that. The lotto money came to them because of that desire. And as long as you tell yourself you can "only start small," then that will be the truth.

Starting small may very well be the right way to go -- in your ACTION. But in your thinking you can be as big as you want to be.

Rebecca awesome resonse absolutey awesome.
Why am I not suprised many blesings to you all.
AndyP

Thanks everyone. I like the suggestions of Tami very much. But where did you get the impression that "Each of you can be highly successful without competing with one another." I want some confirmation and examples on that when it sounds so good.

When we claim to be believers of God, we are supposed to be unconditional and selfless but not to the point of being abused by others. So this is what I meant by we are supposed to be sefless in God's name.

I don't like the lady personally. We just don't match. She has a very stern personality and speaks bluntly. She has created a lot of negative reactions from other people as well. I am not alone. I don't think it will be harmonious to cooperate with her. It's best to avoid her as much as possible. I was told she has always been like that. Is there a hope that she may change? I don't know when. So, it will be so difficult to share anything with her when she eyes for money so much. BTW, she did not because of the idea of opening a restaurant that they won the money. These 2 incidents are not related.

Tami, if I share my recipes with them, they can make the bread by themselves, they don't need me to be their supplier. I don't see a win win situation as you. Do you mean when I share my recipes with them and still become their supplier? What if they make their bread based on my recipes?

True-

I am confuesed. Has this lady asked for your recipes? If not, there is no need to agonize over this.

Sounds like she is a toxic person. I would BLAST her (do a search on blast), wish her the best if you encounter her and then continue on with your life.

As for keeping your recipe secret, that is not selfish, that is good business. Coca-cola keeps their formula under lock and key. So do many, many other companies. I've often seen food programs in which they visit resturants and bakeries and the owners show how a product is made. Many times the add a "secret ingrediant" and they don't reveal what it is. No one thinks anything of it.

Let them have their business and truly wish them the best. You concentrate on yours. If they aske for your bread and crackers, offer to be a supplier if it feels right to you and leave it at that.

I am seeing way too much negativity in your posts about this situation. You are not competing with them. It is two different businesses.

"I don't like the lady personally. We just don't match. She has a very stern personality and speaks bluntly. She has created a lot of negative reactions from other people as well. I am not alone. I don't think it will be harmonious to cooperate with her. It's best to avoid her as much as possible. I was told she has always been like that."

If this is true I wouldn't give her the time of day much less my recipes. Start your own business. I read somewhere recently (Mother Earth News I think) there were not very many recipes for crackers out there. Light weight - might try internet sales too.

Thanks so much for your heart warming support.

WriterMom, the way I see may not be two different businesses when they have a location, have hired someone and plan to expand. They may try any new recipes that attract people. If they find out bread etc is welcome by people, they may make it themselves and sell less of other items.

Of course in the world here, restaurants may not sell bread and crackers, but they may because they want to sell anything that can attract people.

Actually I am prepared to share my recipes with those I like. I won't keep it to myself if I like these people and I want them to prosper because of doing good to others. Now, I can wish them success with my friends' business, but it doesn't mean I like them. It is a totally two different issues, so it is hard to follow the principles laid down in the Bible to love my enemies unconditionally.

I can wish them success. I can forgive them, but it doesn't mean I can work with them. I am somewhat caught up in a dilemma because I want to do the right thing with wisdom. I mean love with wisdom, not just love.

And sometimes I wish I could have more wisdom instead of blind love.

quote:

WriterMom, the way I see may not be two different businesses when they have a location, have hired someone and plan to expand. They may try any new recipes that attract people. If they find out bread etc is welcome by people, they may make it themselves and sell less of other items.

Of course in the world here, restaurants may not sell bread and crackers, but they may because they want to sell anything that can attract people.

True-

Look at what you just wrote. You have created a CMI and it is one that you do not want. Erase that one and create one that has you baking your goods and people standing in line to buy them from you (or however you see your success).

I am going under the assumption that you've at least read SOGR once. Please re-read it, get the CDS', and/or join the course until it is clear to you.

SOGR principles make it plain that there is no lack and that we can all be successful without competing. In fact, the non-competitive route is often the easiest and most likely route to success. You really need to start with a base belief that this is true.

I am a believer in God, but do not believe I would be of much help to others by being "self less". In order to be of service to others, I need to make the most of myself. We need to have/be more in order to give more. We are God's body on this earth and God does not lack for anything.

You may be starting from a place of not liking the lady personally, but try seeing her differently. You can change your relationship with her (with anyone) by changing your attitude towards the individual. Do not join the common belief, or view, of this woman.

You can offer to sell your recipes to her, but a better idea might be to provide her with some free samples for her patrons. When she sees how much they enjoy your breads and crackers, you can offer to supply the restaurant with as much as they need. In other words, you bake and sell these items to her and word of this will spread so that others will want to buy from you as well.

Can you feel that???

Hmmm...

I was in the printing business for over 12 years in a community that had several other printers but I never felt that I had competition! If you are creative and not competitive you don't have anything to worry about!

I agree with the others that teaming up with someone could help you to grow quicker, but if you are not compatible with these particular people you wouldn't want to be partners with them. If your crackers and bread are good you don't need them to do well!

BTW, I am a vegan and salute you for developing Veg recipes!

quote:

Originally posted by truewealth:
it is hard to follow the principles laid down in the Bible to love my enemies unconditionally.

what are 'enemies'? If we hold unconditional love and acceptance then there is no-one who is considered an 'enemy'. Taking literal meanings in biblical context can be contradictory, on one hand 'god' is forgiving and has unconditional love for everyone then in another context it is telling us that we have enemies? This is confusing to me and partly why I have never understood the bible to be factual.

Taking that statement in context and practicing the unconditionality of human relationships, then there is no competition since there is no feelings of 'I'm better than they are', or 'I have a better product', or 'I'm going to beat them at their own game', many many other put downs are always in the competitive mindset. I never hear competing companies complement one another and that is where my support of those companies stop. The same can be said of those political parties during election, if they have the need to belittle or demean the other parties then they are put behind me in my focus. Unfortunately, all parties seem to be taking the same road and are all behind me in my focus.

Recognizing that there is no lack and that there is 'plenty for all' as Wally says, this realization should make your decision making relatively easy.

BEingNow, it is hard not to claim my products are "better" than theirs when I know mine is better. BTW, it is such a hugh topic that I just can't find the proper words for this. Sometimes it is difficult to disguise the superiority in me because I think I know. It's the degree of relativity actually. Or else we just go back to the non existence where there is no good or no bad, no high and no low.

I don't mean to offend anyone here. I also won't support companies and parliamentary members when they intend to put down others which is not a correct attitude and thus pollute our atmosphere. I think it is a matter of stating the facts without putting in too much value judgement, which I found so hard to achieve for me personally for the time being.

Tami, I really want to change my attitudes with her because I know when I have poisoning thoughts of her, it is poisoning myself. I am giving the readers a picture of what it is like. The general public has the same outlook of the lady as me. I don't know yet how to change my attitudes even if my desire to do so is so strong. Sometimes I do have the compassion of seeing her getting into too many troubles on auto-pilot that I wish I could give her some advice. She is just not connecting to her ultimate source of blissfulness and wisdom that makes her being so critically blunt, and hurting people everywhere. However, I don't want to be her teacher as well. I could only advise her if I want. Everyone of us has wisdom inside. I don't want to appear to be superior to her. It's her habits after all and we are not our habits. But it also doesn't mean I embrace her and let open up myself and let her poke me all the time. I feel so fed up. Well, I just don't feel good around these people. Do you have a better suggestion about what to do with this kind of people?

quote:

Originally posted by Tom Strong:

...if you are not compatible with these particular people you wouldn't want to be partners with them. If your crackers and bread are good you don't need them to do well!

Hi Truewealth,

I agree 100% with Tom's statement above. There are many other vegetarian restaurants and other outlets you can sell your products to. Working with people you have negative feelings for will only create more negative circumstances and feelings unless You change your thoughts. You can not change the woman...you can only change you, your thoughts & actions about yourself. Once you change within, changes will happen outside as well...with everyone and everything you come in contact with. Try looking for different outlets for your products and different outlooks in your thinking. Also, taking the PG course if you haven't already might prove very helpful to you.

Whatisreality

truewealth,

I believe that, recipes and bread and crackers set aside for the moment, if you are the person who shows kindness to this woman who has a difficult persona, if you are the one who shows her respect, kindness, works to get a smile out of her? Your rewards will be massive. That difficult-to-like woman with the community who can't stand her is a huge opportunity to live the work of SOGR.

Sincerely,
Juno

quote:

Do you have a better suggestion about what to do with this kind of people?

I must be missing something because I'm reading here in all your posts that you "don't support" people and companies who "put others down" and how this woman you dislike isn't connecting to her source and all ...

... but how is all that any different from what you are doing yourself? All this judgment of her -- what's the point?

Why not just take all your attention off her entirely and put it on what YOU want to create?

One of my teachers says this: There are three kinds of business -- my business, your business, and God's business.

The only one you have any "business" being in is your own and when you muddle around in the other two you only make yourself miserable.

So why not just leave her to her business and her life and put your own focus on the ONLY place where you have any control and can make any changes?

The more you continue to obsess over this person and what she is doing that you do not like, the more you will continue to attract exactly that sort of person and experience to you.

Remember, too, that we can only see in others qualities that are in US as well -- both the ones we like and the ones we don't. Every person is a mirror with a big message for us. But the message has nothing to do with the messenger and everything to do with US.

It's wonderful when we can just get the message, dismiss the messenger, and move on with creating our own GLORIOUS experiences.

So when you get into focusing on what you want to create -- really get into the joyful expectation and delight of that and let go of this other stuff that can never bring you anything good, that shift in focus can change EVERYTHING.

And you can do it, starting right this very moment, if you choose.

I would also note -- in reference to your subject line here -- that no one is actually competing with you. Because you are only thinking about being in business and these other people have actually taken action and begun theirs.

Furthermore, have they actually ASKED you for your recipes?

quote:

Originally posted by Rebecca:

quote:

Do you have a better suggestion about what to do with this kind of people?

I must be missing something because I'm reading here in all your posts that you "don't support" people and companies who "put others down" and how this woman you dislike isn't connecting to her source and all ...

... but how is all that any different from what you are doing yourself? All this judgment of her -- what's the point?

Why not just take all your attention off her entirely and put it on what YOU want to create?

One of my teachers says this: There are three kinds of business -- my business, your business, and God's business.

The only one you have any "business" being in is your own and when you muddle around in the other two you only make yourself miserable.

So why not just leave her to her business and her life and put your own focus on the ONLY place where you have any control and can make any changes?

The more you continue to obsess over this person and what she is doing that you do not like, the more you will continue to attract exactly that sort of person and experience to you.

Remember, too, that we can only see in others qualities that are in US as well -- both the ones we like and the ones we don't. Every person is a mirror with a big message for us. But the message has nothing to do with the messenger and everything to do with US.

It's wonderful when we can just get the message, dismiss the messenger, and move on with creating our own GLORIOUS experiences.

So when you get into focusing on what you want to create -- really get into the joyful expectation and delight of that and let go of this other stuff that can never bring you anything good, that shift in focus can change EVERYTHING.

And you can do it, starting right this very moment, if you choose.

Brilliant...absolutely brilliant!

Hi Truewealth,

Hmmm, this is interesting.

As I read your posts I get as few impressions.

It sounds like you are living life by someone elses rules i.e. what they say at church.

You feel you have to give something to someone.

Sounds like you really dont want to give this away to them for various reasons but are concerned you will be a bad person in someone or some philosophies eyes and dont want that.

You are looking for some wording or explaination to tell you it is fine to keep it for yourself and that you are still a good person.

Yes I agree where in this thread it was pointed out it is not an "action" matter so much as a "thinking" matter.

Why not truthfully without judging yourself ask what "you" ,and no one else, would like to happen?

Just let your imagination go and say what do "I" want to have happen and create. Think big and think even beyond the immediate things involved.

Why not be the Otis Spunkmeyer of veggie crackers and breads and snacks. If you are then you are enriched and all those who retail it are enriched.

Just some thoughts...

Jim