Hello everyone!
I'm glad to be a new member of this forum. I have read SOGR a couple times now and am very excited about the concepts, particularly that of being a creator, not a competitor. That idea appeals to the artist in me. The principle that one must outgrow the life one has in order to step into the next area is also one that allows me to feel patient with myself.
I have a question for you all. I have suffered with "clinical" ie major depression at points in my life and am under treatment. I have struggled with my thought life because of this. Mainly, holding the line against painful and negative thoughts. When the depression is coming on, I can fight the thoughts for a while but after time, they are overwhelming. I'm sure anyone else who has experienced this can relate.
In consequence, I have continually lowered my expectations for myself and my life so to avoid setting myself up for failure or disappointment.
A result example is when I was offered a job as a property manager at the real estate office that I work at part-time. After a lot of thinking and talking about this decision, I decide to pass on the offer, mainly because I didn't think my temperament would be up to the job. I don't feel like I've outgrown my current life, in fact I feel like a little kid playing dress-up, clomping around clumsily in shoes to big for me.
Am I going about this in the Certain Way?

Hi Angela, and a warm welcome to this forum.

I'll begin with your last qustion, "Am I going about this in the Certain Way?" The answer must be yes ... reading the book, joining in this forum (and hopefully also enrolled on the excellent Practical Genius course!) ... these are the steps that will head you in the right direction. That direction will change, and become more clear as you take each step. Stick with it, and you will get there.

Regarding depression ... my understanding of it, both through study and experience (mine and others) is that "depression" is something we DO, not something that happens to us. At a simple basic level ... the answer is to learn to do things differently, and I'm sure that you can learn that from SOGR.

Your post reveals that you already have some awareness of what you are "doing" ... "I have continually lowered my expectations for myself and my life so to avoid setting myself up for failure or disappointment." ... Keep watching carefully, and you will start to see what is behind that.

There seems to be a clue in the language you use in your posting. Lines like "... I feel like a little kid playing dress-up ...". Perhaps something "forgotten" happened as a child ... maybe, for example, you experienced a little success in something, but you found it extremely embarrasing when the "spotlight" of praise shone upon you ... or maybe your little success attracted the attention of a jealous "bully" who squashed you flat because of it ... these are just examples, and it could be all sorts of things.

Experiences like these can plant in us the seeds of ideas such as, "It is not safe to succeed, or to grow up ... I must stop myself, somehow, and remain a little girl, because that is safe." At the time, that may well have been a good strategy ... but not when it becomes a habit and outlives its usefulness.

However, it is not necessary to go "hunting" for an exact explanation. The purpose of giving an example is to show why we sometimes "do" such an unthinkable thing as depression to ourselves ... because, deep down, we have the mistaken idea that it is "safe", so we do what we think is best for us.

So how do we "do" things differently? You use the word "fight" ... but fighting it may only serve to give focus to the depression, which makes it come out stronger. Relax a little, you are normal.

Watch carefully when you feel yourself sinking. What thoughts led up to it? Get into the habit of thinking other things. What physical symptoms manifested? Again, change them. If you find yourself slumping, take a deep breath and literally "pick yourself up", and "lift" your posture, perhaps with some exercise. If you find your fists clenching, shake them free. If you find yourself looking down, look upwards.

It may sound trivial, but there was a scientific experiment with a group of clinically depressed people (placebos, control groups, the whole "works" was in there). For just 20 minutes a day, they had them sit comfortably and throw there heads back to look up at the ceiling ... and pull funny faces. You know what? It worked ... better than the medication!

Wally's other book The Science Of Being Well is a great practical guide to sorting out the basics of health ... breathing, eating, sleeping ... and those foundations are vital, whatever the "problem".

And finally ... keep smiling! You think I don't know you, but I do know for a fact that you look gorgeous when you smile!

Best wishes,
Steve

quote:

Originally posted by Angela M:
Am I going about this in the Certain Way?

It doesn't matter if you were / are going about things in the Certain Way. If you were or aren't, just let that go. Self blame and doubt certainly aren't part of the certain way. If you think you mess up, say Oh well - no need to embark on a scholarly investigation. That's the past. You have right now, which is free of the past and who you ever thought you were.

You have to drag your old self image into every new moment and constantly remind yourself of your perceived failures to maintain this depression. And your old self image includes "Am I wrong?" That's why you have largely useless, resurring thoughts. As one who used to have depression, I know. It's a lot of work. Your time and thoughts are more precious than money - they're the source of it.

Self love and an open sky are before you already and always were; there's no work for this, no struggle.


Keep with it, you're on the very right track!


Bobka

Angela,

The others have said some very wise things, and I'd like to add my $1.00 worth (.02 adjusted for inflation ). I study a martial art, and one of the things my sensei is always saying is that you have to learn how to relax and go with. One of our major skills is learning how to fall correctly so we don't get hurt and we can get up and go some more. One thing he has said that has really stuck in my mind regarding this has proven true in a lot of other areas too: where you put your focus and your energy attracts more of the same energy. Fo example, if I tense muscles in a fall, it brings the energy of the fall into the tension, and it hurts. Sometimes a lot. But when I breathe out and just let it happen, the energy dissipates and I am unharmed. Our thoughts are the same way. It is important not to fight them because you give energy to them that way, and according to Mr. Wattles and other other enlightened thinkers, this only makes them stronger. Don't fight them, accept them. Thank them for the lesson they have taught you and let them go while you continue to focus on positive CMI. We all have negative thoughts at one time or another, the difference is in how they are dealt with, not how can they be stopped. You'll find that as you focus on your positive CMI, there is less room for the negative thoughts to come in, and eventually they will go away on their own. Mr. Wattles points out that you attract what you think about, and while it may take a little while to stop attracting the negative, if you maintain your focus and do things in the certain way, you will attract the positive.
I hope that helps.

Namaste,

quote:

I don't feel like I've outgrown my current life, in fact I feel like a little kid playing dress-up, clomping around clumsily in shoes to big for me.

Just a thought Angela, but could it be that the reason you feel this way is because you're trying to do/be what someone else wants you to do/be?

What does Angela want?

Just something to think about

Enjoy the journey!
Sherri

quote:

Originally posted by SteveX:


Regarding depression ... my understanding of it, both through study and experience (mine and others) is that "depression" is something we DO, not something that happens to us.

I agree. Depression is a state of being that must be perpetuated every moment with thoughts. It's active, not passive.

No thoughts; no depression. Happy, life affirming thoughts; no depression. As easy as you now think it is to slip into negative thinking, it is that much easier and effortless to float with great thoughts of more life to all - including yourself. That's great news! There's a lot to be ecstatic about, Angela. You came to the right place, just savor and integrate the lessons and proceed when you feel you're ready.

Bobka

Angela,

Up until now I have been dealing with post-partum depression that started after my son was born almost 2 years ago. I would strongly recommended taking the Practical Geniusis course. I have found that it has helped me out of my old thinking much more so than talking to any doctor has helped.

As others have said, when you find yourself sliding down that road again put focus on your thoughts, find out what thoughts are helping to bring you down. Then tell yourself "No I will not allow this to manifest now". I have found this to be a HUGE help. I hope it helps you too.

Hello all and thank you for taking the time to give me kind words of advice and encouragement. Steve, I have been working with SOBW and have followed the principles in this book for many years, even before I knew of the book. One experience that I have of depression is that it is very physical/emotional first, then the thoughts follow. A good reminder Steve that I need to attend to being well!
I had to chuckle a little about SherriC's post. My circumstances right now are the result of taking on the responsibility of caring my for aged grandfather 6 years ago. I went from a small, cozy, city neighborhood, small house, walking distance to work, etc. to a 5 acre farm a 15 minute drive from anywhere! It's taken me this long to just clear out the junk from the property! So yes, I have done a LOT of doing for other people. This particular burden I am glad to have carried though.
Here's the part that is hard for me to implement in SOGR. When I think of a mental image of my life as I want it, I feel dull, not energized. This is one of the things about both treatment for depression and the depression itself. You don't feel too excited about anything. I assume most people are motivated to WORK on positive behaviors because there's a payoff in positive emotion. Without the payoff, the work/process doesn't have a lot of energy behind it.

Any thoughts or suggestions on this point?

Acting "as if" works for while, as Mr. Wattles suggests in both of the books. Act as a healthy person would, act a a rich person would (not always sure how they act!)

What do people feel when they get what they want? How do they feel working towards what they want?

Hi Angela,

Welcome to SOGR! You have gotten some good suggestions so far and I thought I would offer some ideas as well to perhaps help you.

Your mind is simply a separate part of you..like your body. Your body is you, but it is not the whole you. Similarly, your mind is you, but it is not the whole you. Mind and body function together to help make you who you are. Each performs separate vital functions but neither is the complete you.

Your body processes the world around it through its five physical senses. Your mind records events and makes judgments about what things mean based on beliefs you have formed at the subconscious level.

Depression is triggered by some event either outside you or inside your mind that your subconscious processes in its memory bank and sends a signal to your body to DO depression. The body reacts and both mind and body work together to achieve the goal. Both are performing their function in a way they think is protecting you from something.

There is another part of you that is higher than your mind or body..your spirit. Your spirit is the higher self that functions by your purest thought and being. It is the REAL YOU above and beyond all things the mind and body may tell you in a given moment. It is your true, pure sacred and secret self that only you and God know.

In a state of meditation it is possible to easily rise and assert the authority of your TRUE Self. From this place of authority your True Self can become an observer of your mind and body. In this place of authority, your true self can observe your mind and body’s functioning without passing judgment of what each is bringing forth. In this place, you are able to decide whether your true self will accept or reject what each is bringing to you.

To me, this is what is meant by “the kingdom of God is within you.” I believe God expects us (Our True Self) to rise to a level of authority and take dominion over our inner kingdom, much as He told us to subdue and take dominion of the Earth in the physical realm.

As has been observed, depression is something you DO. I suggest you try the above along with some of the other suggestions made in this thread. It is possible to conquer depression.

I wish you well.

Michael M.

quote:

I assume most people are motivated to WORK on positive behaviors because there's a payoff in positive emotion. Without the payoff, the work/process doesn't have a lot of energy behind it.

Angela,

This is still hauling your heavy wagon into both right now and the projected future: How do you know you will not get an emotional "payoff"? You're basing it on past experience and projecting that into the future which hasn't happened yet. If you're going to do that, may as well make it fun and positive.

Your mind is trying to help you out and be efficient - "this is how it always was so instead of experiencing it, I'll go through the motions and conjure old feelings before it even happens". Most of us could carefully map out five, ten years of misery this way. Recognize this is not efficient, that you are capable and in the right place. Recognize your unheard of luck for being here and learning this great secret. How rare! You're inside the castle wondering how to get there. The remedy? Genuine gratitude.


Bobka

I too have suffered depression,I don't think on the same scale that you have, but there was a time when I hated my life because I didn't feel things had worked out the way I wanted. I was soo tired all the time from putting all my energy into thinking "I'll be happy when this happens, I'll be happy when I don't have to do this job anymore." And they can be overwhelming, but you can overcome them because i did. Every day I said to myself, "I choose to be happy now, not because I have to be, but becasue I want to be." Constantly put that thought into your mind.
Another thing I found to make an enormous differece in the way I felt was colour therapy. What colours I was choosing to wear were greatly affecting my energy levels and my mood. ( I visited a colour consultant, was amaxing!) She showed me differences in colours and how some can be very draining and depressing to wear if you have the wrong shade on you. I had a white skirt that i loved, but everytime I put it on, I was tired and grumpy and flat. Since dying it purple, the skirt feels completely different to wear! And people notice, no more "gee you look worn out" comments! Next time your out in a shopping centre, or somewhere where there is heaps of people, look around and really look at them, see what colours they are wearing, see how it makes them look, experiment yourself with different colours and see how they make you feel, you'll discover colours you would never once have taken a second look at!!
I'm pretty new here too, I'm about a third of the way through the course and it is a real eye-opener! I'm slow getting through it cos my phone line keeps breaking! but thats ok cos i think its giving me more time to take everything in!

Best of luck
Shannon

One last thing that worked for me - diet.

It's amazing the fast improvement in your thouhts when you meet your body halfway with the right kinds of fat (you can sneak refrigerated flax or fish oil into a lot of food or smoothies) and protein. SOBW may have more to say about it. It helps to give yourself the nutritional building blocks to make serotonin in the first place. You can find information from a trusted source on the proper reatios of protein to fat to carbohydrates needed. Inexpesive diet changes, and no big learning curve. It really helps.

More Life to All,

Bobka