Detouring is not Failing


The expectations and ideas that we have programmed into us are very rarely much use when it comes to making decisions.

Recently I was talking to a young lad who was confused about making a decision regarding his future.

His dilemma was that he had a part time job as a cameraman in a video production company and also a job as a builders labourer.

The company who made the videos offered him a full time job, but the pay at this time did not match the combined income of the two jobs. He asked for my advice and it was quite sad that he was so confused.

I asked him what it was that he enjoyed doing most and as you can imagine he said making the videos. So I then said what is your problem? He said that unless he could get the same income, from doing the videos, as he was from the combined jobs, he was in some way failing.

I pointed out that by taking a sideways step, or even a backwards step, to be doing what you wanted to do, could never be regarded as failing. To which he replied “ Yeah I realise that, but it is what my parents and friends might think.

How sad, he was going to make a decision based on what his parents and peers MIGHT think.

Fortunately, he took the full time job at the video company and it appears that they have already indicated that in the next few months, his income could well exceed what he was earning before.

There are a few lessons here, number one is that it can never be regarded as anything other than the correct decision when you follow your hearts desire,

Number two, never make decisions based on what you feel others might think, it is your life and doing things that make you happy and content, is an integral part of making the most of it.

Number three, fear and indecision invariably lead to regrets, it is mostly what we have not done that we regret most.

Number four, provided that you give 110%, you are guaranteed to get the most out of any situation. In this case the video company appreciated the decision he had made and also realised how good he was and very soon indicated that he would earn in the very near future, an income that would exceed what he was getting before.

It would have been very easy for him to have pushed the video company for more money and because of his feeling of failure, not accepted the job, but the result of that would have been that he would have ended up just working for money, without any real enjoyment or satisfaction.

If you are ever faced with a decision and you factor in what others might say or think about you, have the courage to follow your hearts desire, it will always be the right decision.

Abundance to All

Croz Croz's website. Get his newsletter

I agree Croz! Life is just too short for us to be doing something that we are not excited about!

As my kids were growing up I taught them that the real measure of success was doing something that you enjoyed; an if you made any money doing it that was OK. My son became a Doctor and my daughter a Set Designer in Hollywood; both of them enjoying what they do!

It is also OK to go sideways - and to change direction! My daughter is now thinking of another career; something that she could do at home spending more time with her kids (didn't have kids when she started her first career). She is very creative; at first she will make a lot less money but eventually I am sure she will do better.

Great post Tom.

It is a shame that many people live their lives for other people.

It is not selfish to look after yourself.

You never hear an air hostess say put the oxygen on someone else before putting yours on.

As you know my philosophy is 'Wherever Happiness goes, Success and Wealth are sure to follow.

Regards to you and your wife.

Keep the flag flying for us oldies. lol

Abundance to All

Croz

quote:

Sometimes Going Sideways Is The Best Way of Going Forward

Hey, if you're on a sailboat, sometimes it's the ONLY way!

Tacking.

It's just going with the wind instead of beating yourself up trying to go AGAINST that flow.

I like the metaphor ...

Excellent post Croz. Thank you. I love the metaphor as well.

As I thought of this (making a decision to please others) it reminded me of someone I know who deliberately didn't follow a path that he knew he'd enjoy because it would have pleased his father and he chose to do anything but please the man whom he disliked very much.

This person spent years playing in a band and working odd jobs. Finally in his late 30's, he decided to pursue something he knew he'd love. He achieved his goal, loves what he's doing and makes very good money today.

He does however regret the many years he spent trying to displease his father.

In this case, he was still living his life for other people -- only in the opposite direction.

To echo Tom, life certainly is too short for us to be doing things we're not excited about, giving more priority to how others might react.

You provided great guidance to the young man. Imagine what so many lives would have looked like if we'd all had someone like you early on to share such wisdom.

Thank you Laurie.

Yes life is very confusing sometimes.

I like to think that the shortest distance between two points is, ask someone who has been there.

Spending time bearing a grudge is futile, because the other person is oblivious to your actions. Like the saying, ' Bearing a grudge is like you taking the poison, and expecting the other person to die'

Thank you for your kind comments.

Abundance to All

Croz

quote:

Bearing a grudge is like you taking the poison, and expecting the other person to die'

I love this quote. It's so vivid.

Appreciation from the Heart,

Richard De Haven

Thanks Croz for the post,

I was facing the same dilemma. I have 2 job offers with me..
1st in the current city(where I am staying as Paying Guest) itself where I am working , they are offering a very good package but work is more& work culture is not good(Have heard this from Colleagues).
2nd offer is from a city which is near to my home town , they are offering less package but I can visit my home town every weekend(This desire was a part of my CMI) or whenever I want with a single sick leave

So I was confused whether to chose money or near to home/cool working culture. So at last I decided to move to the company which is near to my home even thought all my friends/colleagues were suggesting me to join the company which is offering more money.
But I told to myself this is what I wanted, working near to home town, a good package, visiting relatives & my parents whenever I want.

Finally I decided to follow my heart. After 10 days I m going to join the company near to my home town. Hope my decision will be also be right.

Hi Poonam

I assure you that you have made the right choice.

Just give the new company 110% and see what happens.

Good Luck in all you do in the future.

Abundance to All

Croz

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Hi Poonam;

Ditto what Croz said!

When you truly follow your heart your decision is always right for you.