It seems to me, the Universe doesn’t care WHY you feel however you do.

Maybe this little story will help explain what I mean.

I made a bet with someone, not too long ago. I’m not one who usually bets, but when I made this bet I made sure we shook hands on it, to make it perfectly clear that we were making a bonifide, gentlemen’s agreement sort of bet. And I made a point to ask him, “Are you sure you want to bet on this?” In other words, I made it clear that this was a real bet, and if I lost I’d pay, and I expected to be paid if I won. It was a little sports bet, and I won. But when I went to collect the person laughed and told me it wasn’t really a real bet. So, he didn’t pay, and on top of it acted like he was right not to. He just laughed it off.

I got a little steamed about it.

But then I remembered what I’ve been learning about how the Universe works. One of the principles is, if we hold ill will towards anyone, it doesn’t matter how we may justify it; we will manifest something unwanted happening with US. In other words, the Universe responds to us, with any feelings we have. It doesn’t matter if we’re hating someone else. The Universe will just boomerang our feelings back on to us, with something – some experience or condition -- that harmonizes with our bad feelings.

So, I was willing to test this out. If that’s the case I certainly didn’t want to cling to my bad feelings if the Universe was going to just give ME back something to feel bad about.

And conversely, I understood that if I could get to a GOOD feeling with what had happened then, in theory, the Universe would deliver back to me something of equal or greater good.

So, what I did is I asked myself what thought I could have that would make me feel better, and even LOVING towards this person. What I came up with was, maybe he feels he can’t afford to pay. Maybe he knew he shouldn’t have made the bet, and maybe he even feels bad that he made up an excuse not to pay.

If that was the case then, instead of feeling angry I began to feel sorry for the guy. Could he be that hard up for the money that he can’t honor this fairly small bet? Long story short, I kept playing with ideas and scenarios in my mind until I finally got to where I had absolutely NO ill feelings towards him, and I was even blessing him and sending him love, hoping that whatever reason he had for not paying, that he would be ok.

So, now for the clincher.

I work in an office with multiple floors, and there are stairways that many of us have to routinely take, when we have business on another floor. The very next day, as I was taking the stairs, there on one of the steps was a bill of the exact denomination of the bet we had made.

I looked around and no one else was on the stairs. I even waited about thirty seconds or so. Still, no one.

I picked up the bill and put it in my pocket. I again waited for about a half minute or so. Still no one.

So, what are the odds of me finding a bill in a stairwell that people take all day, and for the exact amount of the bet?

By the way, I’ve had this kind of thing work out like this, for things other than money. For example, I’ve made real peace with people who I’ve thought were mistreating me in some way, and have them turn around and start doing me kindnesses, without me ever telling them anything or asking them for anything.

I’ve even done this with blunders I’ve made, like the time I screwed up something at work and thought I’d get fired for it. I found a way to genuinely get to peace with it, and had the situation work out completely fine.

For me, it’s something I can count on, and I would imagine you can too. I think it’s a Universal Spiritual Principle. The Universe isn’t taking sides. It isn’t making one person right and another person wrong. It doesn’t care about how eloquently you rationalize why you must be upset or angry, irritated or depressed. It doesn’t care if you’re blaming someone else or some situation for how you feel. It doesn’t care if you’re shortchanging yourself. It just gives you back something that equals how you feel.

And, on the other hand, it doesn’t care how you get yourself to feeling peaceful, delighted with yourself, happy and loving, if that’s how you want to feel. It doesn’t care if you tell yourself you’re beautiful and wonderful, even though you’re broke, overweight and rejected, if telling yourself you’re wonderful gets you actually feeling good. It will simply just create conditions and experiences that mirror however you actually feel. Simply:

The Universe responds to how you FEEL.

The only thing is, you’ve got to be real. You’ve got to get to where you REALLY feel how you want to feel.

Phil

Nice Phil, I like this.

It reminded me of a snippet from Earl Nightingale's "Our Changing World" several years ago. He described the mind as being like the earth, whatever you put in the soil it will grow. It doesn't care what you put in, whether it be goodness or poison, it just grows whatever seed you plant. So too with the mind .... plant a seed of goodness it will grow, plant a seed of poison it will grow, it doesn't care what seed it is.
Treat the universe the same way ..... and you just might get the the results you want.

Happy thoughts abound

Guideg

quote:

Originally posted by Phil:
It seems to me, the Universe doesn’t care WHY you feel however you do.
Phil

It just might interest some to know that there is actually a scientific and technically sound reason WHY the Universe does not care how you or I feel - and an explanation of such might help some folks to grasp that simple but vital point.

Stay tuned.

BTW, Phil's response to that situation is not only reflected in Wattles' quotation from Samual "Golden Rule" Jones - "What I want for myself, I want for everybody.", but also in a recommendation by Dr. Joseph Murphy ("The Power of Your Subconscious Mind"), which goes something like this:

"Do not dwell upon another person's shortcomings, their frailities or their derelictions. Why? Because, by virtue of your thought being creative, what you think and feel about another, you are actually creating in your own life and experience."

Deep, eh?

Phil thanks for posting again. So many times things I am going through are answered by just coming on and reading your posts. I am very grateful that you take the time to do that.

I had thought of posting on the forums but wasn’t sure how to say it without everyone thinking I am saying my same old story again. I really don’t think of a lot of what’s going on anymore with any real negative emotions I view it as a situation that I am looking at so that I change it to the way that I want.

One of the things that has vexed me for a long time is my separated/ex/wife. I am already paying several bills in the household and my business expenses and I am usually running at or just below what I bring in. I am cutting what I can and am trying to make more money ect. Well my separated/ex/wife keeps asking me for more money and if I have it I help out but right now things have been tight and where the problem comes in is thinks I am lying to her. When I tell her I don’t have the money she wants she gets upset and tells me what a terrible father I am. Then I find out she and the kids go out to eat 3 or 4 nights a week. I am not really angry or upset even though a lot of the time I feel not so good that I can’t help out but she doesn’t budget well either. I was looking for a way to handle this type of situation and I will try what you described in this post.

I will also look to see how I can use this method to get over some of the my other hurdles. I always seem to get opportunities but they don’t always pan out. I wanted to coach football so I found an intern to help cover my office so I committed to coaching and the intern was here for the first few days and then was gone for a week so I had to close my office for 5 hours for a week. I was turned down by a company for an appointment which also made the partnership that I was looking into fall beside the wayside too. One of the main reasons they declined me was because they are looking for a lot of life insurance and commercial insurance to be written. I was thinking I need to hire people to sell life insurance and have them work on commission. It was a thought I had and I didn’t act on it as I was real busy and was putting in a mental note. The last day my intern worked someone had stopped in and was looking to use my office as her office. She sells life insurance and medicare supplements ect. We talked and I will get a % of the commission and she uses my office name and my office computers and phones to run her business out of. She also filled in for a few days that the intern wasn’t here. So I am getting opportunities and I am manifesting some things but now I haven’t seen the life agent in over a week. I get opportunities but they don’t end up making me money YET.

So I know this works I see it almost everyday something will happen that makes me know this works. I feel I am so close to busting out.

I will keep moving along.

Hi CaptJack,

Your wife gets upset and says unkind things when she is afraid. To the degree she’s not afraid she’s kind and loving. It’s the same with all of us.

You get upset when you’re afraid. You get defensive when you’re afraid. You worry when you’re afraid.

We tend to repel the good that could come to us when we’re afraid. Anger is just a form of fear. Being upset is rooted in fear.

Consider the following:

“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Luke 12:32

Try to get it that God or the Universe really wants you and everyone to have wonderful lives. Try to get in tune with that idea. One author calls that getting ‘In Tune With The Infinite.’

When you think of yourself, and others, try to have kind, loving thoughts. It opens you to receiving the good you want.

Phil

CaptJack
And while you're about it, seriously address the resentment you're feeling toward your wife. She makes you feel inept which is invalidating and anyone who isn't confident in who they are will feel anger and resentment. Anger also stems from feeling powerless.

That anger/resentment also one reason why you're struggling with your business. But only one reason. Besides allowing yourself to see the business situation as it is instead of focusing on what it can be and what you want it to be, you're also using it as a reason for not giving her more. Why? It isn't because you're mean or spiteful, its about resenting her constant demands.

There's some dual beliefs going on here. Like polar opposites fighting against each other. On the one hand you're doing your best, but on the other hand you'll be damned if you give her any more which undermines all your positive efforts.

See her for what she is but more importantly, see yourself for who you are and what you're entitled to in this life. She is in no way entitled to every drop of blood in your veins. If you have money left over, there's nothing says you have to give it to her. In fact you're doing her (and your children) a disservice. If you go ahead and hold back some for yourself, and set some of that aside, then when the kids are with you, you'll have a little money to splurge on them.

Phil: thanks for your words of wisdom. I needed the reminder.

quote:

Originally posted by Pro10:
CaptJack
And while you're about it, seriously address the resentment you're feeling toward your wife. She makes you feel inept,...

CaptJack,

I don't think YOU think your blame your wife for your feelings, but just in case,... your wife doesn’t MAKE you feel one way or another.

No matter what she does, she does NOT determine how you feel.

We all determine how we feel about what others do, by how we think about what they said or did (or didn't say or didn't do).

I can call you an idiot, or I can say you're wonderful. But however you feel about what I say is due to how you process (i.e., think about, evaluate, etc.) what I said.

Phil

Phil since you quoted part of my remarks it would seem you object to the word 'makes'. Perhaps you would object less had I used the word 'creates' as in her remarks and behavior creates in him....... I commented on what I picked up when I read his energy.

Realizing that he has control of how he reacts inside or out is only part of the remedy. The rest lies in eliminating beliefs and promises holding him hostage.

CaptJack said:

quote:

One of the things that has vexed me for a long time is my separated/ex/wife. I am already paying several bills in the household and my business expenses and I am usually running at or just below what I bring in. I am cutting what I can and am trying to make more money ect. Well my separated/ex/wife keeps asking me for more money and if I have it I help out but right now things have been tight and where the problem comes in is thinks I am lying to her. When I tell her I don’t have the money she wants she gets upset and tells me what a terrible father I am. Then I find out she and the kids go out to eat 3 or 4 nights a week. I am not really angry or upset even though a lot of the time I feel not so good that I can’t help out but she doesn’t budget well either. I was looking for a way to handle this type of situation and I will try what you described in this post.

Know that:
You cannot control how another person thinks and feels about you.
You cannot control another persons behavior.

What you CAN do is control how YOU process those feelings (EFT helps me a LOT, and well as BLAST affirmations)

If you feel bad, and those feelings are triggered by another's actions towards you, KNOW that the person is simply mirroring that which you already feel. Change the thoughts/feelings, and you will see that the same behavior may be there, but it won't affect you anymore. Oftentimes,(but not always). the undesirable behavior stops. Why? Because of what Wayne said:

quote:

"Do not dwell upon another person's shortcomings, their frailties or their derelictions. Why? Because, by virtue of your thought being creative, what you think and feel about another, you are actually creating in your own life and experience."

LOVE that Wayne, thanks for posting.

Keep plugging CaptJack, you're doing great!

Phil, thanks again for a wonderful post, really resonated with me.

quote:

Originally posted by Pro10:
Phil since you quoted part of my remarks it would seem you object to the word 'makes'. Perhaps you would object less had I used the word 'creates' as in her remarks and behavior creates in him.......

It doesn’t matter whether you use the word ‘make’ or ‘create’. The message you are implying is the same. You are saying that, at least to some degree, OTHER people are responsible for how one feels, and this simply is not true.

Each of us is responsible for our feelings. Other people will say or do or behave however they do, but it is still always up to each of us, as to how we process or evaluate their behavior. If this were not true it would not make any sense to try to feel how we want to feel because it wouldn’t be ours to determine. Fortunately, we ARE the determiners of how we feel. And the more we understand this the more we realize how powerful and in control we really are.

Here is how others put it:

“We create our own heaven or hell. Your thoughts can imprison you or set you free. Complications, conditions or people do not upset you, but the way you think about them causes your upset. Freedom is not possible until we discipline and retrain our minds.” - p. 124 of Choose To Live Peacefully by Susan Smith Jones, Ph.D.

“If you say, “I just can’t help the way I feel,” you will only make yourself a victim of your misery ~ and you’ll be fooling yourself, because you can change the way you feel.
If you want to feel better, you must realize that your thoughts and attitudes--not external events--create your feelings. You can learn to change the way your think, feel, and behave in the here-and-now.” - from The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David Burns

“If you let the world affect how you feel, what you are saying is, "I do not make my own decisions, I just have a Pavlovian response to anything that may twang my emotions."” Stuart Wilde in ‘Life Was Never Meant To Be A Struggle’

“When you feel frustrated or upset by a person or a situation, remember that you are not reacting to the person or the situation, but to your feelings [beliefs] about the person or the situation.” - from The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra

“I can't emphasize this strongly enough... If you haven't been able to feel how you want to feel and haven't been able to get yourself to do something you want to do... then you are being victimized by your own disempowering thoughts, beliefs and attitudes.” - Mike Brescia, President, Think Right Now International

“If things go wrong in my world, something is wrong in me. Therefore, if I am sensible, I shall put myself right first.” Carl Jung

“Other people can neither make us miserable nor make us happy.” - p.3 of Choice Theory by William Glasser, M.D.

“When anything external distresses us, it is not the event which causes us pain; rather, it is our response to it, and this we have the power to revoke at every given moment." - Epictetus

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thought you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is at it is.” Eckhart Tolle in ‘The New Earth’ p. 90

"If for a moment, you think your destiny is being determined by external circumstances, you're sleepwalking." Dr. Michael Beckwith

“When we say,You are creators, you think we are talking about creating furniture, or creating houses, or creating empires, or creating relationships. That isn't what we talk about when we talk about creating. We are talking about the creating of your state of being.” Abraham-Hicks

Phil

CaptJack,

Here's a thought you might want to consider:

"The only thing that has been getting in your way, the only thing that has been holding you up, the only thing that has been troubling any of you, is one thing: you have not been appreciating you. You've been looking at you, seeing lack and vibrationally closing down the Energy that allows you to get what you want. That has been it." - Abraham-Hicks -

Happy Labor Day Holiday,

Phil

quote:

It doesn’t matter whether you use the word ‘make’ or ‘create’. The message you are implying is the same. You are saying that, at least to some degree, OTHER people are responsible for how one feels, and this simply is not true.

Did you see this in my post?

quote:

I commented on what I picked up when I read his energy.

In other words Phil, I was not stating MY opinion, but rather what I was picking up from the vibration of the words he chose in his post.

I agree with you 1000% and the points you are making are the same points I’ve taught my family, friends and clients for the last 9+ years.

As an intuitive healer I am often times shown things/feelings a person is unable or unwilling to express. Sometimes the person will have a fleeting feeling they can’t put their finger on. But the Creator shows me and I do my best to describe it for them. If a particular word isn’t dead on, it will resonate enough to allow them to more clearly focus and bring to the surface what it is they are feeling. And sometimes its dead on but they will change the subject to avoid having to confront it.

Once again, I was only posting what I was being shown. There is no right or wrong… it is what it is. If it isn’t serving the person’s highest and best and they want the feeling cleared or resolved, then I help them with that. If they don’t then its still serving them somehow at that moment and its better left alone until they do want it cleared.

Anyone going through what CaptJack is going through will have unresolved issues that need to be worked on. Those issues will or can make utilizing TSOGR especially challenging.