I just realised that I REALLY like to look forward to things (which sounds babyish but I'm not going to try and make it different than what it is) as much as, and very occasionally more, than I like the things themselves.

For example I like to have a good meal in the oven cooking for later more than I like the feeling after eating it (which, logically, makes no sense) and very near as much as actually eating it! Things like that give me a sense of warmth and security, and like "everything's going to be okay" which are not feelings I always have (although, obviously, working on it!).

So one of the reasons I sometimes procrastinate on actions that could lead to me attaining part of my CMI is because then it's always just in the future, on its way, to be looked forward to, just like as a child the promise and thrill of Christmas and Birthdays in the weeks beforehand were a huge part of the enjoyment of the whole event.

With this in mind I'm going to make double-darn sure to add even larger things onto my CMI for the future, so that there's ALWAYS something good to look forward to, and so I don't have any reason to delay taking the actions and internal changes needed to attain some of the more reachable parts of it.

This is the kind of stuff I'd usually put in my diary, but I'm posting it in case it helps anyone else who finds they occasionally put things off (even if they want to do them, and have no blocks like fear or practical things) and also to hope someone might give me some comments, feedback, anything really!

But it's a big step forward for me anyway, which came about as a result of closely observing my mood and beliefs around various things today, and I'm truly grateful for it.

Asking even more is the key to me, to get things flowing past that moment of "okay, got that - now what?"

A driver looks some distance ahead in the direction he is going in order to move the car there. Your focus is primarily on the road ahead and not the road beneath your wheels, since you already gave due attention to that part of the road before you got to it.

I sail through my usual tasks, while my mind sorts out pending business or anticipates a pleasure. Not that I'm bored, but if second gear will do, why go to fifth? It's my unusual tasks that engross me like that.

Relevant, I hope.

Interesting, thanks... and by the way apologies for the long subject line, I noticed it looks a bit messy when I clicked out to the forum list - if you'd like to amend it Rebecca or anyone, I won't be distressed! <blushes a bit!>

I think there's something in what you said there, but I think also that I can't enjoy this bit of road if I'm not sure if there's a big old boring car park coming up ahead, so I like to have a "plan" of sorts, a kind of CMI, for it...

But I shall ponder on that, and how I can become a "better driver"!

There are times I can live in the moment, like eating something wonderful or *ahem* more intimate situations, but when I think of things external to those, it's ALWAYS about where am I going, and not just me but (without sounding like I have delusions of being WonderWoman!) what am I making for the future, for others?

I was reading some very old posts, dipping in and out of the oldest listed on here, and saw one gent (sorry, didn't note his name) who seemed to enjoy "challenge" as part of his CMI, and hadn't really noticed that yet, so he was getting all mixed up in issues of "struggle" and then fearing his CMI would come "too easy"!

Because I don't want to trip myself up, as it was suggested he was doing, by having something I enjoy (future possibilities) that can at times push the main CMI I hold out of my mind, like a fat little cuckoo pushing the real Mother Hen's chick out the nest, I think making that "future thingies" part of my CMI might be productive.

I've already used some of my study/research time this afternoon drawing up some VERY far reaching stuff, for example I'd like to endow an educational foundation (!) for an interest of mine and THAT isn't something that feels within imminent reach, as parts of my main CMI do now.

I think I just laid a few miles more road!

But what's great is there was a process I needed to do as part of my work towards the CMI I had drawn up before, and in all truth I'd been putting it off, and then this afternoon (after planning the FARRR future lol) I - got it done with great excitement and ease!!

Sorry this is so long, I think I just found a huge key to unlocking things that I want to do because I want the results, even enjoy the process, but still keep putting off...

So, you find yourself putting off things that you actually WANT to do - because you don't want them to end? be done with? Did I get that right?

I actually kind of like that. Could be a very useful character trait. (And I think you just found your own solution to putting things off for this reason, right?)

There was a thread not too long ago, but I think it was before you joined us - about thinking in the future or acting in the future - when "you can only act now". But I really don't think that is an issue here, so I don't see any problem with that "character trait" ...

You are clearly enjoying that future - NOW.

Why I think it's useful - particularly for what we are studying here - is that you are practicing focus, faith and feeling. (Or your brand of it...)

You are thinking about and enjoying your CMI. You KNOW (have faith) that it will happen. And then, this is the funny part - you are thinking, don't happen, don't happen, don't happen - don't do anything to make it happen, because then it WILL happen - and then the fun part is done and my life as I know it is over...

We now know that what we focus on - with faith and purpose - will happen. Even if it's a negative (like "don't happen). So even as you try to stop time, you are creating your desire.

This IS funny, right?

(I think you are ON to something...

quote:

Originally posted by Leslie B:
You are thinking about and enjoying your CMI. You KNOW (have faith) that it will happen. And then, this is the funny part - you are thinking, don't happen, don't happen, don't happen - don't do anything to make it happen, because then it WILL happen - and then the fun part is done and my life as I know it is over...

THAT is exactly what I was doing!!

It's liberating... you see on some level I thought my CMI was the safe car parking lot at the end of the road - but, whoa, how DULL!

But no - it's my LAUNCHPAD - for even (dare I say it?) SCARIER travelling ahead! YEE-HAAA!!

I just sat here today and spent a few HOURS drawing up - more road! And isn't it great to do that - it's different wording but makes me think of Doc Brown in Back To The Future: "Road? Where we're going, we don't NEEED roads!"

... as he zooms off into the sky!

So: I just drafted the architectural plans of the first building for my educational foundation...

quote:

Originally posted by Fountainbleu:
YEE-HAAA!!

And THERE you have it!

When I took the time to really see what I most desired - created my "big CMI in the sky" - my world changed. I LOVE thinking about it, I LOVE bringing it into my current life and the "full enjoyment of it as if it is true now". I love knowing it WILL happen. Clearly, I love the feelings I have as I contemplate it. It brings so much joy into my life - who knew???


I love the title of the thread "Gratitude is Everything" - and I believe that is true. I also believe having a great CMI is everything. Oh, and "focus, faith and feeling" - is definitely everything. For those of you who are good at logic and math sets, I am sure my saying the above is like scraping on a black board. Sorry. Some things really ARE EVERYTHING

Until today, my CMI did include good things for others - my new, insanely expanded one runs wayy after I shall have shuffled off this mortal coil, and that is a promise to myself of.. well, never running out of road!

THANK YOU, everywhere and obviously Luv2luv because your image there shook a few things into place for me, and Leslie, for summing it up so well - you are SO right that I don't want things to end, therefore sometimes I don't even start (lol, aren't we humans ODD little critters?!)... my expanded CMI may be wildly ambitious but it will always be growing - and hey, who knows how it will branch out?

THANK YOU everyone here, all those old posts (not a few of which are Phil's and Rebecca's!) and thank you everyone else who has posted on here in the past... everything teaches me, everything shows me something useful. I'm not an especially humble person, but I am in the face of what I've acheived today as a result.

I thought I was happy, excited, ambitious etc before - it was nothing to how I feel right now.

Heh - I'm going to shut up now before I start annoying MYSELF burbling on like this!

I don't get it (and I am saying this with a wonderful confused smile on my face.)

I understand wanting something, working for it, asking for it, getting it, and then not liking it after all for whatever reason.

I understand the excitement of dreaming and doing the research and shopping for something. (It is one of the reasons why I want money, not a particular thing like a car or a house or a degree....I want the thrill of shopping for the house, or building the house, and I don't want any monetary limitations.)

But how is wanting my PhD going to help me get my BS degree? Or is it just going to get me over wanting a BS degree?

(And you know what happens if I get my BS? Then the world expects me to get a real job...yuk! Digression.)

OK...the BS degree was just an example. But are you saying if I think PhD, the scary bad job won't look so bad and won't keep me from trying to get my BS?

Thanks.

Annie

quote:

Originally posted by annievt:
(And you know what happens if I get my BS? Then the world expects me to get a real job...yuk! Digression.)

OK...the BS degree was just an example. But are you saying if I think PhD, the scary bad job won't look so bad and won't keep me from trying to get my BS?

Annie, who on EARTH says you have to get a scary job as the logical summation of your hard work?!

You could:

become a famour author, and write 3 months a year in a tropical paradise;

become a hermit, living in a cave on top of a mountain - but an eccentric one with a cupboard full of WONDERFUL shoes;

become a farmer - I forgot until I re-read SoGR a couple of days ago, how highly WDW rates farmers! (The edited edition I have talks a lot about organics and solar farming as well)

become - whoever the heck you want to be, and not FOREVER - just until the next wild and crazy thing comes into your mind!

I was thinking my CMI (version 1.0 anyway!) means I'd be all sorted, not much left to strive for (I did still like it and do still want it!) - so I got crazy today and thought "what do I REALLY want, that right now isn't even on the table as an option?"

And - well, you read the rest.

What do YOU really want, that right now isn't even on the table as an option? Just for a moment imagine you had the three wishes from a million storybooks, and think about what you'd use them for - then, imagine you have fifty more where they came from!

Today I broke out of a rut I wasn't even aware was forming, by thinking KERRRAZY thoughts, and it's given me SO much more of a passion and purpose - I didn't even complete high school (secondary school in the UK!) so, you're way ahead of me there!

Aaaaa-MEN!

Stretch your imagination a bit Annie. Even Aladdin's lamp is useless if its owner can't think of cool things to wish for.

In fact, maybe he would be better off without the blasted thing!

quote:

Fountainbleu: So one of the reasons I sometimes procrastinate on actions that could lead to me attaining part of my CMI is because then it's always just in the future, on its way, to be looked forward to, just like as a child the promise and thrill of Christmas and Birthdays in the weeks beforehand were a huge part of the enjoyment of the whole event.

I've never seen a kid who couldn't get excited about something new the day after Christmas or right after the birthday cake is all gone.

(Or even the very same day when somehow the box the gift came in becomes more alluring than the contents.)

Why should we be any different?

The only reason we are is because we somehow choose to: OK, that's it. The fun's all over. Bummer.

But when we're open to willing to receive (and just let ourselves be the big kids we really are), getting something we desire just leads right into an enthusiastic state of "Oh, boy! What's next?"

(Of course, sometimes we might need a small respite to catch our breath!)

quote:

LeslieB: You are thinking about and enjoying your CMI. You KNOW (have faith) that it will happen. And then, this is the funny part - you are thinking, don't happen, don't happen, don't happen - don't do anything to make it happen, because then it WILL happen - and then the fun part is done and my life as I know it is over...

Funny example of what powerful creators we are. The real faith is in the "don't happen." And so then we masterfully create plenty of "don't happen."

My cmi's used to be plenty big and full of joy. I just didn't quite understand how it helped with the smaller stuff. I reread your post. I get it from your point of view. Thanks.