Hi All

This is quite long, but I think there may be some Aha's in there

Here goes!!

It is really funny when you think that someone has everything under control, and then you hear various comments from their family that obviously indicate that things are far from OK.

We all look at other peoples lives and assume an awful lot about whether they are happy, or whether they have things under control. We look at the outside appearances and imagine how we would be if we had the same environment.

I amongst others have written and commented at length about whether money and assets make you happy, and it is always the same statement, we know unhappy rich people and likewise happy poor people.

It was with great interest yesterday that I encountered a really different scenario about wealth aquisition and how it affects the whole family.

I was at a gathering with some dear friends to have a BBQ and see their son who was over from the UK. The setting was wonderful, the pool area had just been totally made over in a sort of French Provincial style to match the main house that is a beautiful replica of the same style. Other friends and relatives were there and it was all in all a magical setting.

If you had a snapshot of this scene and realised that this family had ample money coming in, you would be forgiven for thinking that it was the perfect life.

Why then did we see the father not relate to his teenage daughter, the wife indicate that she had had enough and was considering leaving?

Later in the evening the father was talking to me and started the conversation with “I am confused” He went on to say that he was happy, but the people around him seemed to all be out of step with what he was doing.

As we carried on talking, he filled me in on what he was doing. He had resigned from a company and started one of his own, that was going very well. He was building an investment home, as in ‘building’ an investment home. He had just purchased new premises from where he was going to run his business, and they needed fitting out. He was having major building works done to the house, that he was supervising, and at the same time he was running his business and doing the paperwork etc. What has this man run out of? Yes, time, the thing that we should all value above everything else.

In most cases such as this, the man has a master plan, that he has formulated with no consultation with anyone else. He convinces himself that the time and effort he is putting into making these plans come true, are for the benefit of his family. He knows that once he has created enough money to put the plan into action, he will be able to make up the time he has lost with his family. How wrong can he be, that time and the lack of attention he has given to his family life are gone forever. It also creates a problem that the people you have ignored, with the very best of intention, will change without you being aware.

Scenario, you arrive at a place you do not really know, with a family you have alienated. At this point no amount of money or time is going to rectify this situation.
The main battle cry from this man was that he was doing all this for his family.
One interesting clue came out of our chat, during the conversation, he said that he had something to prove to the company that he had left. It would appear that a good part of his motivation was in some way to show these people what he could do on his own. When you stand back and appraise the situation, it appears that this guy is neglecting his family to create a successful business and accumulate assets to impress people that he does not actually like.

During our talk I said that far from showing them how clever you are, you run the risk of giving them some news that they would love to hear, and that is that your family have left you because you have ignored them through this time.

I am in no way decrying hard work utilised in an effort to create a better life, but you must always be aware of the effect that it has on your relationship, as I said earlier, who wants to arrive at this unknown destination alone?

One other interesting point was that this guy said that he had never been happier, and he could not understand why his family were not the same. I explained that him devoting every spare minute doing one or other of these activities was in fact making his family feel unwanted, and possibly they were not prepared to wait until he reached his goal, to have him back. It would be no different to someone having a hobby that they enjoyed, and them spending every spare minute on that hobby to the exclusion of everything else, they would be very happy, but their family would be somewhat upset.

There is only NOW and if we sacrifice now for something that we are striving for in the future, we may actually lose everything.

Treasure NOW and use it as your vehicle to the future, if you keep things in order as you go along, there is no chance of arriving with things in disarray.

Make sure that you consider people close to you on your journey, you cannot put them down and then hope to pick them up later with no damage.


Abundance to All

Croz from OZ

Crozs' Website

Hi Croz,

Again you are sharing some very important information!

A really great book that goes into detail about this is Michael Gerbers "The E-Myth" followed about 15 years later "The E-Myth Revisited". His main message is to "work on your buiness, not in your business". He also tells his readers that the purpose of a business is to give us more life.

quote:

When you stand back and appraise the situation, it appears that this guy is neglecting his family to create a successful business and accumulate assets to impress people that he does not actually like.

This reminds me of this quote:

"You do not want to get rich solely to enjoy mental pleasures, to get knowledge, to gratify ambition, to outshine others, to be famous."

and this one:

" You want to get rich in order that you may eat,drink, and be merry when it is time to do these things; in order that you may surround yourself with beautiful things, see distant lands, feed your mind, and develop your intellect; in order that you may love others and do kind things, and be able to play a good part in helping the world to find Truth."

Well, Croz looks like your friend lost touch with the things that are important to his family. That is why is so important to BE rich now, be comfortable with yourself, love your relationships, now rather than later.

Thanks for the reminder to enjoy our relationships NOW.

Much blessings

Hi Croz, always appreciate reading your posts!

What comes to mind is that this fellow says he's happy. In fact, it sounds like he has a real need to prove that he can create abundance and prosperity on his own without the company that he's working for, and he's accomplished this, cerainly a cause for celebration. It seems as though he has found his Joy.

But his family may not know how to make themselves happy, and up 'til now, had looked to this fellow as their source rather than to Source as their source of happiness, and so all the hours that your friend has put into the experience of creating prosperity for himself has brought to the forefront their feeling/illusion of separation, and so they want to blame him.

When I first started my business, I worked many long hours, and my husband was resentful, even though I was here at home, and even though I still did all the household chores and was contributing to the finances. I soon realized that he was resentful because he had not yet found his Joy, and at the time was working at a job that he really didn't like while I was in a state of bliss throwing pots and making money. My challenge was not to look for his support or approval, but still be loving and kind and pleasant.

I did and do still find couple's counseling to be enormously helpful, and perhaps this might be a good idea for your friend if he wants to improve relations with his family.

Sometimes though, it's like you said before, that when your life is changing for the better, everything falls apart first-and that sometimes includes people.

In Love and Light,
Julia

Hi Julia, Know what makes me happy? Watching cartoons I grew up with in the 80's on YouTube. It really puts things into perspective. The DIsney channel used to be so good in the 80's -- like Pooh's COrner and Dumbo's Circus. Classic. No need to invent a time machine; youtube has everything you need.

Croz,

I am mulling over this post and I see what you are saying but can we go indepth a little more on this?

He was happy so he was manifesting what he wanted. He was feeling joyfull and his business was doing great. So as far as SOGR goes he was doing it.

Now correct me if I am wrong but after some time his downfall was he didnt have balance in his life? I understand SOGR isn's all about money but he has never been happier? Could that possibly mean for some reason he is not on the same vibration as his wife? That maybe they should split?

Maybe I am thinking too hard on this.

Bill

quote:

Originally posted by Ancient Soul:

....I soon realized that he was resentful because he had not yet found his Joy, and at the time was working at a job that he really didn't like while I was in a state of bliss throwing pots and making money....
Julia

This is a loaded statement Julia, loaded with insight. I think people who are 'driven' along a path that is not in tune with their true vibration can be insanely jealous and resentful of others who have connected with source and found their bliss.

It matters mot whether the person they are jealous of has more or less money than them, what they are jealous of is that the other person isn't driven to do something they don't enjoy, while they - themselves - are really quite miserable.

In the case of this family - I have no comment. I speak only from my own experience, and that excerpted post gave me a whack of insight.

I guess all we can do, when someone asks for help in finding their bliss, is to give them the help they need in whatever way we can, and respond to the jealousy and resentment with gratitude - because their behavior does serve to remind us that what we have is something very special indeed!

It sounds like there's alot going on with this man...

He is indeed succeeding, but possibly only on the competitive plane. It sounds like he's getting a great deal of joy out of spiting his ex-employer. His focus is definitely not on more life to all and less to none.

As noted, he is sacrificing his personal relationships in the race to be successful in business. He is most probably happy with the fruits of his labor. But if he loses those he loves, the business success will be empty.

His focus needs to be re-adjusted, but he is not responsible for the happiness of his family members. His wife, daughter, etc. need to re-focus as well.

It's interesting that everytime I hear someone say "I am so confused", I usually notice that their energies are scattered. This man seems to fit that bill....

quote:

(originally posted by Croz)

He knows that once he has created enough money to put the plan into action, he will be able to make up the time he has lost with his family...

The main battle cry from this man was that he was doing all this for his family.
One interesting clue came out of our chat, during the conversation, he said that he had something to prove to the company that he had left. It would appear that a good part of his motivation was in some way to show these people what he could do on his own. When you stand back and appraise the situation, it appears that this guy is neglecting his family to create a successful business and accumulate assets to impress people that he does not actually like.

Hi Croz,
Another thing that came to mind as I was reading this:What is this gentleman doing for HIMSELF? He certainly isn't living in the NOW at all.

He talks about "doing it for his family"(a justification or excuse?) and "I'll show them!". Perhaps this man still has some unresolved anger/needing to prove something issues that is attracting negativity into his life via alienating his family. Is he REALLY happy, or just gloating from spite towards his former employer as Tami suggests?

Your comment about him..."this guy is neglecting his family to create a successful business and accumulate assets to impress people that he does not actually like" makes sense in this case.


Trust me, I know-been there and done that. I went on to finish college in 1991 and graduated Magna cum Laude with a Fine Arts degree just to prove to my parents that I wasn't a failure;to prove my father wrong and "piss him off". I had very few friends, and my marriage at the time was a disaster.

Just More Thoughts,
Julia

quote:

Originally posted by WilliamT:
He was happy so he was manifesting what he wanted. He was feeling joyfull and his business was doing great. So as far as SOGR goes he was doing it.
Bill

HI Bill,

I think I can clarify your question by quoting from the book. Obviously he wasn't manifesting what he wanted because his relationship wasn't what he wanted; it was turbulent. He was only focusing on one "mental pleasure." So as far as SOGR goes, he really wasn't doing it. SOGR is about getting rich the right way, getting richer in all other ways TOO on your journey to financial riches. It's not about leaving people in the dust to get what you want. That's competitive plane.

And as Tami so intelligently pointed out, "It sounds like he's getting a great deal of joy out of spiting his ex-employer. His focus is definitely not on more life to all and less to none."

And as Wattles says for a good reason, "You do not want to get rich solely to enjoy mental pleasures, to get knowledge, to gratify ambition, to outshine others, to be famous."

This is competitive and Wattles says, riches obtained on the competitive plane are yours one day and someone else's the next.

I hope this clears things up for you.

Hi

WOW I am so pleased that this has caused some thought from so many people.

There are so many lessons to be gained from this situation.

Bill I think that your thoughts about the couple seperating have been muted by the wife. However, the husband is not a bad man, he is just not aware of what is happening. I think that his vision firmly encompasses his wife and children, but it seems that he does not realise the damage that is occurring in the now.

The main lesson to learn about this journey is that it is not about specific amounts of money. It is about having enough money to do what you want when you want, therefore we will all have different needs. The main thing that we must ensure, is that we have enough time to do what we want to do.

In the story I told, the couple would have enough money now to relax and continue leading a very comfortable life, it asks the question then is the husband doing this for his satisfaction to prove something to the ex partners, or for his family?

This is quite obvious,and unfortunately he is driven by the satisfaction he will get by showing the ex partners what he has achieved. This is in fact where he is getting his happiness from.

I love the fact that this clearly illustrates what wealth is all about. If you are not very clear as to what you want to achieve, and who you want to share your wealth with, things can become very unsettled.

Making sure that now is always OK is very important.

I was asked by someone the other day, was I rich?
I answered that I did what I want when I want in most instances, and had enough money to fund those activities, therefore I considered myself rich. He then said, "How much money do you have?" I replied,"Does it matter?"

From the start I was quite clear in my vision that at all times, it included my wife, and no specific amounts of money were ever mentioned, only things that we wanted to do and achieve. I always factored in NOW. The minute that we forget now, we are in trouble. Once you concentrate, and make now good, EVERYTHING just falls into place.

Never trade now for something that may happen in the future.

I know that all this advice is well worn, but when you see situations such as this it really does emphasise the fact that you need to be aware as to what you really want, and a lot of my happiness and satisfaction has nothing to do with money.

I firmly believe that once you are at peace with yourself in the now, and just follow what unfolds towards your vision, you cannot fail. Never appear desperate just relax and know that things will be OK.

Money is only any good as long as you are in control. Make sure that you create it for all the right reasons.

I am sure that once this guy realises exactly what is happening, he will be able to sort things out. Its funny that even if he relaxes and starts doing things with his family again, the odds are that he will get everything done.

The main message is that you can achieve anything you want, just make sure that it is what you want.

Abundance to All

Croz

The simple act of consulting with the family ahead of time and enlisting their support -- giving them a chance to help lay the plans -- could have made a huge difference in how this story play out.
Or, he could have gotten some feed back to show him how much damage neglect could cause -- giving him a reason to reconsider his plan before it got underway.

Thanks Croz for the great example of living and getting rich Wally's way. The importance of what you shared with us cannot be overemphasised. I have to remind myself constantly that riches really begin in my mind, not the other way round. Like I say, a lot of us, when we first start out, equate money with being rich. But as your example points out so succinctly, the wealth we observe in another person's life is never satisfactory unless he is also rich on the inside. It is not the money that makes us rich, but like you said "It is about having enough money to do what you want when you want...". And it is this particular truth that Rebecca's PG course really shines. Unclutter our brains from all the ego fueled cravings that do not satisfy our true selves,and our real selves shine through. In my opinion, the PG course remains one of the best if not the best in uncovering the clear truth about what riches mean to each of us.

And I AM happy, in fact I feel that riches attained on the creative plane is available to me all the time, it's just a certain way of thinking!

Much blessings

Bladerunner—what a leap in your understanding from when you first got here. I am impressed by what you have learned in such a short time. If you apply what you have learned I am sure you will be rich.

I guess the reason why I asked the question is because I can totally relate to his situation. I was let go from my insurance job in 05 and started my own agency in 06. I would love to make it big to show them but I don’t let that rule my motivation. I don’t get joy from proving someone else wrong. So I am working long hours and on weekends and my wife gets upset with me. She thinks I am neglecting the family a bit but from my perspective I need to make enough money to cover our bills. I have been pulling money out of my retirement account and have used my whole pension already in


getting the business going. She doesn’t have a head for business and she feels being with the family is more important, which I agree, but we still need money to pay our bills. We often have conflicts because she thinks because I own my own business I can come and go as I please which is true but If I leaven I have to close the office.

Even with this happening in our lives I feel I had an inspired action that will take care of my money situation and have been working on it since October of 07. I am just now implementing my idea as it took me that long to put it in motion. So many things have happened that I believe it was the right action. I will know in the next 2 months how successful my plan is/was. But I know in my heart it will really take off and take a life of its own.

I too have the mentality that I will get rich then spend more time with my family. I will have to rethink my situation I don’t want to end up like your friend. I think one difference is I do spend quality time with my family. I went with my middle son on a weeklong school outing in February and I will take my other son on a weeklong school outing in May. I may grumble a little about it but once I am there I enjoy myself hehe. So when the business takes off I will see if I do take time off to spend with family or If I still feel like I can’t take time off.

Bill

Bill - I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned 'quality time'!

My husband owns his own business and frequently needs to spend some of his evenings (at home) finishing up on various items. The two of us spend many Saturdays working in his office as well. He pours alot of energy into his business, but leaves it behind when he schedules time with the family. Our four daughters are all grown, but we make a point of scheduling dinners together, lunches individually with each one, and family trips (at least one per year). Our CMI includes those happy, healthy, loving relationships.

Wow! When I just realized all of the things we fit into our schedules, I almost wonder how we find the time. I guess alot of it has to do with intention, focus, and being present!

What would it feel like if your wife was 'on board'?

My wife is a show me the money first. So I will show her I can make the kind of money she could only dream about. I am not doing this to prove anything to her I am doing for me and my family. Every time I talk about my business she says she doesn’t want to hear it. I was inspired to take a certain course of action and my wife doesn’t agree with that action. But she lets me do what I am going to do with my business.

She is uncertain now because of the 100% conviction and certainty that I am showing regarding my project. She said in passing that if I make the money I keep talking about she will go part time at her work just enough to keep our medical insurance. Haha.


Bill
www.thurstoninsurance.com

quote:

Originally posted by WilliamT:
If you apply what you have learned I am sure you will be rich.

Bill, I'm already rich. And my financial riches are inevitable and steadily on the way!

Well, this thread is filled with enough "shoulds", "perhaps", "question marks" concerning what this guy should have or shouldn't have done.

croz, what did you do to help this person become a more advancing person? Did you give him a copy of SOGR?

Here is a person who confided in you and you use that confidence to start a thread. Interesting read, but as Rebecca has mentioned, we have enough to do minding our own business. However, it is our business to help others when we can.

It would have been more insightful for him if he had told his own story in a thread and people could have given inspiration instead of judgmental opinions behind his back.

JMHO
SharonSS

quote:

Originally posted by sharss:
Here is a person who confided in you and you use that confidence to start a thread. Interesting read, but as Rebecca has mentioned, we have enough to do minding our own business. However, it is our business to help others when we can.

I think the point of this thread is to use someone else's experience and apply the principles to it, helping us all find a new and deeper meaning to Wally's words. It's like a case study. And since nobody's name was used, I don't see the harm in discussing Croz's conversation.

quote:

Did you give him a copy of SOGR?
JMHO
SharonSS

And giving out SOGR to people who don't specifically ask for it or how to get rich, is not an effective action. Most people will reject the book after only hearing the title.

quote:

It would have been more insightful for him if he had told his own story in a thread and people could have given inspiration instead of judgmental opinions behind his back.

More insightful? Maybe, maybe not. Again, posting in this forum requires him to have read SOGR, and he has to be open-minded enough to even considering reading it.