I found this recent comment by Rebecca VERY powerful & thought-provoking:

"What did you do to earn or deserve that breath you just took? "

My family essentially have (and manifest perfectly) the core value that work, ie that which generates income, MUST be hard, dull, even depressing - and at the moment the British media & govt are fond of using the term "hard-working" as shorthand for things like law-abiding, moral, worthy of consideration, and decent, to boot.

Moaning about one's job and walking round as disconsolate and resentful as a bag of wet washing is TOTALLY acceptable in my family, even approved of: thinking of breaking the mold in any way is considered "unrealistic" because "that's just the way life is"...

I've successfully tuned this out most of my life, yet I recently took a leap of faith towards my preferred outcome, and it's raised issues within me, because it seems to be flying in the face of the family value-system: furthermore, since they've helped me out at various times in the past with their "hard-earned" cash, it's caused me to question whether there isn't some truth in their main ideal?

That one trades misery for moulah, that's just the way things are, world without end, etc?

It sounds silly typed out like that, but believe me, I wouldn't bother with this self-disclosure if it wasn't causing me a bit of a problem right now - and I believe in jumping on these things early, before they have time to take root and start manifesting their own "proof."

The work I do is absorbing, contributes value to the community, and I LOVE it - but it's NOT in line with the general belief in my family going back several generations, that (to quote an article I linked to in another thread):

"Money should be doled out at a constant rate based on how many hours you show up someplace and suffer."

In my family, you generate income by showing up, and if you can suffer that actually adds moral heft to your other requirements, for example being irritable and unreasonable at home, or with regards to drinking a bit more than is good for you, and so on. You work hard so no-one dare say anything to you about your less pleasant actions (female as well as male) - suffering in a job creates a moral immunity all its own.

But... I best generate income and contribute to society through the creative work I love, much of which takes place entirely inside my own head at all the stages I am involved, and I'm having difficulty finding the balance between honouring my family's value-system (one noted ancestor was a war widow, whose toil to support her children at the start of the last century is actually held up as an ideal), and honouring my OWN truths - which include my chosen field being the work for which I am best suited by a MILE.

When I was just breaking even, the fam (including their programming I've accepted into my head) were fine with it, I was the dilettante with the silly ideas who they could just hope would "straighten up and fly right" at some further point - yet when I consider the very real possibility that my income will outstrip anything anyone in my family has ever earned, it brings me nose-to-nose with this stuff about the REAL nature of work - HARD, DULL, etc etc.

By that point, down at the nitty-gritty, it has nothing to do with money - I genuinely think the whole set-up prefers the idea of hard-working and struggling, to creative and rolling in bundles of cash!

Anyone got any words of advice, anything thought-provoking or whatever, in line with the SoGR & LoA - please?

Heaven knows I'm trying to stay aware of my beliefs, and don't want to get torpedoed by something as powerful yet low-key as this family ethos thing...

quote:

money - I genuinely think the whole set-up prefers the idea of hard-working and struggling, to creative and rolling in bundles of cash!

Anyone got any words of advice, anything thought-provoking or whatever, in line with the SoGR & LoA - please? Smile

So, this may seem like a no-brainer, but -- what would you LIKE to believe? If you could choose your value system, what would it say about this? If YOU were setting up the universe, how would you want this to work?

Also, you could think of times when the old family value system affected your choices. How did that work out for you? If you are presented with a similar choice again, can you see a more productive way to view it?

Just some thoughts. I think you're doing great all on your own.

Love and blessings,
Rachel

GOOD questions - think I'm going to take those away and work on them a bit... thanks!!

I sometimes find I can't see through my own muddle of factual stuff (names, dates, places, stories) to get at the real issues behind it - questions like that help enormously.

quote:

it's caused me to question whether there isn't some truth in their main ideal?

Well, of course it's true. For THEM. And anyone else who believes the way they do.

I can tell you that for me, it is no longer true at all. (MANY things I once believed were bedrock are no longer true in my experience.)

So, what do you want to be true for YOU?

Well, if your family saw how I live they'd probably hate me.

I hardly work hard at all, and I'm making more than I need, helping pay my son's rent while he's away at college, and I have no bills other than my monthly nut, and I have tens of thousands in the bank, and I'm in good health.

An Englishman named Stuart Wilde wrote a book called, Life Was Never Meant To Be A Struggle.' He's a self-made multimillionaire, and your family would probably hate him too. (Hint: With a little Google search you can find the book as an ebook, as a FREE download. Well worth the effort, to me.)

With that in mind, let me leave you with a couple quotes:

“The more you learn to work your mind, the less you have to work your behind.” Reverend Ike

“We create our own heaven or hell. Your thoughts can imprison you or set you free. Complications, conditions or people do not upset you, but the way you think about them causes your upset. Freedom is not possible until we discipline and retrain our minds.”
p. 124 of Choose To Live Peacefully by Susan Smith Jones, Ph.D.

Relevant to your family issues, I wanted to add this quote from the Bible:

Jesus knew his teachings would cause division:

“Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law." Luke 12:51-53

And maybe you recall the famous poem (was it Robert Frost?) about the two roads in the woods, and the one less traveled.

Phil

quote:

Originally posted by Rebecca:
Well, of course it's true. For THEM. And anyone else who believes the way they do.

* CLINK! *

That was the sound of the penny dropping!

One of the reasons I've been edgy round this stuff is I have NO desire to go into blaming my family, there are a few grouches, boozers and screwballs among them, but they're good people and they're my roots, they matter to me.

Getting right back to basics and seeing their actions, beliefs, manifestations etc as CHOICES (including in some cases the CHOICE to not seek out materials like SoGR, I mean this stuff has been out there for generations now) frees me right back up... so, gratitude from the heart there!

I think I was carrying some guilt over all the fabulous options open to me that didn't exist 20, 40 or 80 years ago, and then getting that mixed up by assuming it implied a duty to not have those options myself, which is totally one of those inner belief-muddles that just dissolves when you take a good hard look at it.

And Phil, that's wonderful, thank you - I ordered "Life Was Never Meant To Be A Struggle" a few minutes ago online, what I read on Amazon as well as your impeccable track history of recommending stuff totally makes me think I can gain something from it, and I like a nice "old skool" paperback when possible!

Right now I've got a Word doc open with all the questions above pasted in, and I'm pondering them... definitely a "work in progress."

Thank you!!!

Alert: long reply coming!

These are the answers to the questions (I've paraphrased them slightly) in this thread:

If you could choose your value system, what would it say about this?

- that since my ancestors certainly wanted a better (not worse) life for their descendents, I can best honour them by grasping and wallowing in every last bit of BETTER life, better advice, better living, and do so with so much love and appreciation for them in my heart!

If YOU were setting up the universe, how would you want this to work?

- EVERYONE gets to do work they love – my own preferred field isn’t for everyone, after all! And then that innovations from the creative minds GLOBALLY, stifled in the past by need and want, do away with drudgery by creating evolving technologies that free us all up to live lives of self-realisation, taking the human race forwards and adding massively to our creative and cultural heritage

Also, you could think of times when the old family value system affected your choices. How did that work out for you?

- redacted to save naming names, but yes: at an earlier phase of my business, there was one client I held onto through fear (plus familial approval of my working with such a high flyer!) who cost me a lot of time for little income, and cost me even more peace of mind - then, when it turned out they really weren't going to be happy no matter how much I martyred myself, left a gaping and initially damaging hole in my professional record, since we parted on pretty bad terms! ("Ain't no pleasin' some folks...")

- when I was younger and working in regular employment as an unskilled, unqualified person, there were times this damaged my health, as well, because of putting in excessive hours to drag my income to reasonable amounts - further proof that those among us with no formal education do best to reach EVEN HIGHER right from the start with our aspirations!

If you are presented with a similar choice again, can you see a more productive way to view it?

- I know I don’t EVER want to work for money on an hourly basis again - I innovate in my field, which means I WILL complete the same/comparable task quicker AND BETTER each time, which means I either have to lie/pad out my invoicing, which is totally unacceptable to my integrity, or actually suffer a drop in income for doing BETTER, FASTER, work - and, this is not within the acceptable realm even by my family's standards of "misery for moulah"!

- The stuff I do is not to be corrupted by fitting in with other people's values over money, wealth, worth, etc - and YES, it's okay for me to feel that way, and make my own choices and be responsible for my own outcomes (this is a biggie, the pressure to sign up to larger entities in my field, and be a part of THEIR dream/drama, is constant)

- The best way to view it is that I WORK FOR THE WOLRD and that trying to carry out another role, to which I WILL give 110% of my attention because I AM meticulous and focused, is harmful to myself and overall to the planetary mind, and the well-being of all life upon it! Exaggerated much? Maybe - but having felt close to burnout once or twice before, better a few loud shouty words spoken in the privacy of my head/ this space, than caving to outside pressures and ending up on the scrap-heap...

A quote I like a lot by Michael Russer is, “When you try to do something outside your core competency, you pay top dollar for amateur results.”

So, with all that in mind -- what would you LIKE to believe?

- that the Universe made me to work for the good of humankind by doing what I do best, just as dogs bark and doves fly, and neither tries to swap roles

- that I best flow with and benefit the whole entire living world, by pursuing my one special field in which I excel, and that the Universe has always supported this by trusting me to have the common sense to run with that, and not get distracted

- that my family had the right to make choices, I have the right to make choices: no harm, no foul!

And, what do you want to be true for YOU?

- everything I desire desires me in return, where it is "more for all, less to none" and where it doesn't touch upon infringing another person's free will

- that the desire in me is the Universal Thinking Stuff seeking to experience the good of these things: and, that my desire for them means they are meant for me - many other people would find my preferences unpleasant or dull, after all!

- that since I work best with plenty of money and security, it’s right and supported for me to make money and security my current priorities, and to forget any ideals that my family hold since the Universe created me as a seperate being to them (they hold my DNA, so if I had not been worthwhile I would not have been created) and that just as I have a favourite kind of soap, toothbrush, and night-wear, they can have their special kind of belief in the Universe, and it's all good, no-one needs to be "slapped into shape" or made to LIMIT the amount of enjoyment and appreciation they get by seeing their values manifesting every day.

~~

PHEW!

BIG weight off my shoulders there - THANK YOU again to everyone who's replied and also all the posts (too many to name names!) by both regular and occasional posters here, whose archived treasures of posts I've been reading... I think I've got a working concept now on this that fits with my dual desires to honour my family, and also my own never-ending search for a bigger, wider life.

More comments welcome as well - what am I missing?

Fountainbleu,

I LOVE THIS!!!!!

I think you've discovered the secret of the universe. Congratulations on ALL your wonderful revelations!

Right now, I don't see anything missing. Just enjoy it!

Love and blessings,
Rachel

Aah, if only!

For some reason I had a rotten day yesterday (Tues), saw something on TV mid-morning that brought me down and couldn't just shake it off, then all sorts of little things went wrong, in the end I had an early night and am picking up again today from an early start, focusing BACK on my CMI and belief in myself.

I think I know what happened and why, but after having a good few weeks professionally and with regards to studying SoGR etc, it was a bit like a bucket of cold water...

Onwards!!

quote:

For some reason I had a rotten day yesterday

I think you'll find that those "bad" days are gifts. They remind you to continue digging into yourself. They require you to practice feeling good. They help you to develop your SOGR muscles.

After all, "Comfort is the enemy of growth."

The last few "bad days" I've had, I was able to use them to grow far more than I would have if I had just been "comfortable." Thank goodness for those "buckets of cold water!"

Love and blessings,
Rachel

Yes - I like viewing it as residue of some unwanted stuff I felt and therefore attracted before I re-committed to SoGR: sort of like rinsing out an old inkwell, before the water runs entirely clear there are usually a few streaks of ink still to be flushed out...

Really enjoyed reading The Healing Codes yesterday, I skimmed some of the testimonials since I don't need convincing as much as readers who don't believe in the LoA, and then tried a couple of codes on things I'd like to change: very powerful stuff.

To anyone who's not read it, my brief interpretation of the method is that it replces the LIE of adversity, suffering, and unworthiness, with the Truth of your inner Divine spark and the reality that this is a Universe of Love, Joy and Appreciation. Because it's non-intrusive and simple, even if it was "just" imaginary, it's a useful way to acknowledge unwanted old beliefs and memories, realise they were trying to protect you as you were then, and then let go of them, with peace and faith that something better is possible.

Other's people's take on it may vary of course - I'm not claiming expertise in SoGR OR the LoA, just a keen student!! - but I found it to be totally in line with SoGR as I currently understand it, since it's a healing modality that doesn't focus excessively on the issue to be healed, but instead works on replacing it with a more Truthful fact.