Am I Telling The Truth

Why do we do anything? Why do we study something? Why do we surf the net? Why do we work or even play? Why do we search for certain information? Why do we call a friend? Why do we bathe? Why do we eat? Why do we exercise (or even just consider exercising) or meditate or pray? Why do we try to take care of ourselves? Why do we flick on the TV? If we drink or smoke, why do we?

Why do we want anything? Why do we want a certain home or car, or money? Or, why do we pay our bills, or even want to pay our bills? Why do we want certain people to be in our lives?

Think carefully about this and the answer always ends up being VERY SIMPLE. We simply want to experience some good feeling.

We simply want to feel some good feeling.

Think about it. That’s the underlying reason for all our behaviors, plans, dreams, wishes, fantasies.

We simply want to feel some good feeling.

I know a woman who is disgusted with this fact. Why? Because she’s been raised to believe it’s somehow ‘wrong’ to just feel good. She says, “It’s plain selfish, and therefore, it’s wrong.”

But what if it’s simply our nature? What if it’s simply an intrinsic part of being human? And, what if it really IS the reason we do or want anything? Wouldn’t condemning ‘feeling good’ be like condemning being natural and human, and also condemning God, because it’s God that made us the way we are?

What if it’s PERFECTLY OK to feel good or to want to feel good? What if it’s just like the fact that plants thrive on sunshine and water and the proper soil and climate?

Do we condemn trees for wanting soil, light and water?

Or, what if feeling good is as natural a desire as the process of plants wanting to bloom, or birds wanting to fly?

Now, what if, not only is it an intrinsic part of being human,… what if it is very GOOD for us to FEEL GOOD (when we do so in healthy ways)? And, what if it is RIGHT for us to feel good and WRONG for us to feel bad? (Well, not 'wrong' but maybe 'questionable'?)

What if, when we’re feeling good, we are ATTRACTING every good thing into our lives, like health, wealth, wonderful experiences and ideas, wonderful opportunities, solutions and relationships? What if, by feeling good, we are drawing to us everything that we need to have better and better lives?

And, what if, by feeling poorly, we are REPELLING every good thing? What if, by feeling bad, we are ‘blinding’ ourselves and can’t see the opportunities and solutions that are really there? What if, by feeling bad, we are actually directing CREATION to create conditions and experiences we DON’T WANT?

What if feeling good meant getting, having and experiencing more of what we want, and feeling bad meant getting, having and experiencing less of what we really want?

What if our experiences and our lives are governed by such a SIMPLE CONCEPT?

Now, at this point, you might reply, “Well, I can see that that could be the way it is, but then, there’s still the problem of not feeling good. You see, I’m in conditions where it is really impossible to feel good. You’d know that if I told you of my situation. And besides that, I’m not exactly anything to shout about, if you know what I mean. I mean, I don’t mean to put myself down. I’m just being realistic. I’m really just, well,.. not all that much, you know?”

Well, if this is you, let me ask you a question. What if you’re MISTAKEN? What if it really IS possible to feel good, no matter WHAT your circumstances are? And, what if your ‘less than ideal’ OPINION of yourself is also WRONG? What if you’re actually ABSOLUTELY DESERVING of an incredible life experience, as much as ANYONE WHO WILL EVER EXIST OR HAS EVER EXISTED?

“We create our own heaven or hell. Your thoughts can imprison you or set you free. Complications, conditions or people do not upset you, but the way you think about them causes your upset. Freedom is not possible until we discipline and retrain our minds.” - p. 124 of Choose To Live Peacefully by Susan Smith Jones, Ph.D.

And, what if your idea that YOU are something LESS THAN WONDERFUL is exactly a part of the reason your life experience is LESS THAN WONDERFUL? What if you’re just experiencing a Self-Fulfilling Notion?

Do you have any sense of humor? I hope so. If so, can you see how funny it would be if you suddenly realized that a huge part of the fact that your life isn’t just TERRIFIC is only because you have been maintaining a POOR OPINION of YOURSELF?

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

And, what if, as you’ve been feeling bad feelings in some of your circumstances, it’s only because you believed you HAD to? And what if this belief were WRONG?

What if you suddenly realized that YOU could feel HOWEVER YOU WANT TO, no matter what the circumstances you’re in? How would you feel if you suddenly realized that is has always been only YOU who has been CAUSING you to feel however you’ve felt about ANYTHING?

“If you let the world affect how you feel, what you are saying is, "I do not make my own decisions, I just have a Pavlovian response to anything that may twang my emotions."” Stuart Wilde in ‘Life Was Never Meant To Be A Struggle’

Would you laugh? Would you cry? Would you be astounded? Amazed? In awe?

Well, look what these people have to say, about WHY WE FEEL HOWEVER WE FEEL.

“If you say, “I just can’t help the way I feel,” you will only make yourself a victim of your misery ~ and you’ll be fooling yourself, because you can change the way you feel.
If you want to feel better, you must realize that your thoughts and attitudes--not external events--create your feelings. You can learn to change the way your think, feel, and behave in the here-and-now.” - from The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David Burns

“When you feel frustrated or upset by a person or a situation, remember that you are not reacting to the person or the situation, but to your feelings [beliefs] about the person or the situation.” - from The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra

“The problem isn’t that external events have control over your emotions. The problem is BELIEVING that they do. Abandoning this belief and realizing that you have the innate ability to control how you feel at any given moment, regardless of your circumstances, is the first step to emotional mastery.

Events are neutral. What causes you to feel a certain way is how you interpret an event, how you think about it. The same event (even one so serious as the death of someone close to you) will be interpreted differently by different people. You were taught to represent certain events to yourself as tragic, while other people on this planet were taught to celebrate those same events. The event itself has no meaning but the meaning you assign to it, and that act of assigning meaning (whether done consciously or unconsciously) is what causes you to feel a certain way.” - Steve Pavlina

“I can't emphasize this strongly enough... If you haven't been able to feel how you want to feel and haven't been able to get yourself to do something you want to do... then you are being victimized by your own disempowering thoughts, beliefs and attitudes.” - Mike Brescia, President, Think Right Now International

“Suffering is always optional.” From ‘Restore Your Magnificence’ by Dr. Joe Rubino

“Other people can neither make us miserable nor make us happy.” - p.3 of Choice Theory by William Glasser, M.D.

“When anything external distresses us, it is not the event which causes us pain; rather, it is our response to it, and this we have the power to revoke at every given moment." - Epictetus

“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.” -- Don Juan in Journey To Xtlan

If you are feeling less than peaceful, loved, worthwhile and confident isn't it because you are BELIEVING something that causes you to feel this way? Consciously or not, you are buying into a disturbing evaluation, and it isn’t necessary. A disturbing belief or evaluation tends to blind us to an always available constructive one. Dispel and replace the belief with a more constructive one and your mood will rise. How you feel is CAUSED by what you BELIEVE. When you find a way to improve your belief your FEELING will AUTOMATICALLY IMPROVE.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

I know there’s much more to feeling good than I’ve written here. There’s things like overcoming peer and familial pressure to ‘fit in’ and be like most people. But then, most people don’t exactly have GREAT OPINIONS OF THEIR SELVES, and most people aren’t exactly LIVING GREAT LIVES.

And, there’s also things like, how to deal with things like being mistreated by others, or misunderstood or rejected or alienated.

But I think you can look around – your local bookstore or library, or the Internet – and fairly easily you can find information on how to deal with these and other issues.

I’ve written this piece because, it seems to me, most people don’t have much of a clue WHY we really do whatever we do (or don’t do whatever we don’t do) and how knowing this can really SIMPLIFY matters.

Am I right? Am I telling the truth?

Phil

“In the mental realm, enter at once into full enjoyment of the things you want.” Wallace Wattles, in Chapter 8 of the Science of Getting Rich

“Frequent occupancy of the feeling of the wish fulfilled is the secret of success.” ~ Neville Goddard – The Power of Awareness

"Enter into the joy of the answered prayer and your wish, idea or desire will become God's will, which is the consciousness of having or being what you long to be or possess. This is the consciousness of conviction, which manifests itself in your world as a condition, experience or event." - Joseph Murphy in ‘Traveling With God’1956

“When you are regularly sending out good vibrations, the universe responds by sending an abundance of whatever it is you want back to you. Your positive vibrations attract your goals and dreams into your life, so start vibrating!” - John Assaraf, multimillionaire businessman, teacher, N.Y. Times bestselling author

"What I am most happy about is that I can zero in on a vision of where I want to be in the future. I can see it so clearly in front of me when I daydream that it's almost a reality. Then I get this easy feeling, and I don't have to be uptight to get there because I already feel like I'm there, that it's just a matter of time." Arnold Schwarzenegger

“After you have assumed the feeling of the wish fulfilled, do not close the experience as you would a book, but carry it around like a fragrant odor.” Neville, from Awakened Imagination, p. 76.

“When you’re inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all of your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces come alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” - Patanjali

“Begin to have a passionate love affair with what doesn’t already exist, living from the end, treating yourself as if you already are what you want to become. It’s in the [positive] contemplation of an idea you would like to create, it’s in the contemplation of it that you create it.

There is no greater secret I can offer anybody listening here,… It is in the contemplation of what it is you intend to manifest that will give you the power to manifest it.” - Dr. Wayne Dyer interview with M.V. Hansen and HW&W e-magazine

“I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.” - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

The Enlightened Man
“Nothing bothers him, not even his own less than ideal thoughts. He simply and gently continually redirects his thoughts and feelings to those of peace, love, strength, happiness, health, well being, etc.” - PMI

quote:

I know a woman who is disgusted with this fact. Why? Because she’s been raised to believe it’s somehow ‘wrong’ to just feel good. She says, “It’s plain selfish, and therefore, it’s wrong.”

Hi Phil,

Thank you for your post.

May I add to this idea some people have that 'feeling good is a bad and selfish thing'.

I think it helps to get over this idea by seeing that there are GOOD good feelings and BAD good feelings.

The feeling Phil is talking about are the GOOD good feelings; the feelings this woman (and many religions) is (are) talking about are the good feelings that originate from FEAR.

People can (unconsciously) have constant fear of poverty, competition, aggression, scarcity, not enough, all kinds of threats.
In that state of mind defensive actions can give one a good feeling.

Like you feel good because you conquered scarcity by taking more than your share.
So for a moment you can relax and don’t have to worry. You feel good, because you found a way to make the fear get away.

Other examples:
You can feel good because you outwitted your opponent.
You can feel good because you won in competition.

Altough they feel good, those feelings are bad feelings, because they originate from fear.

You can recognize them: they only make you feel good for a short while. You only feel good in a part of your body. Not in your heart.
You feel doubts.

So in my opinion one doesn't have to argue if feeling good is good or bad.
When those feelings are selfish, they are short-term good feelings, so yes they're bad.

But thinking and feeling in a certain way, with faith and feeling, is good. And, yes, it's our nature, our biology.

greetings,

Anne T.

AnnieVT,

Just thought I'd bring this one back up, since you seem to have a problem with being 'selfish.'

Phil

And I'll add this previous post:

Three Steps To Feeling Good

First: You have to really want to feel good (that’s easy,.. most people really want to feel good) but ALSO,..

Two: You have to be willing to let go of all your ‘good reasons’ for feeling bad.

Who would rather cling to and perpetuate their reasons for feeling bad, rather than feel good? MOST people.

Most people resist feeling good, at least to some degree. (If not, most people would feel really good, see?) Many people are even PROUD to be miserable or to have something to complain about. Don’t you notice this?

Other people are less proud of their misery, they are, instead, self-righteous about it. They wear unhappiness like a medal of honor. It’s as if they are humbly (but proudly) saying, “See how miserable I am? This is proof of how good a person I am.”

Once, in conversation, I mentioned to a lady, “Most people just want to be happy.” And she replied, “Yeah, isn’t that disgusting?” And,… she MEANT it (she wasn’t joking). Talking more to her I found out she believed:

Happiness is superficial. Happy people are superficial.
Happy people are selfish people (and it’s wrong to be selfish).
Happy people are stupid people. Or they’re callous and indifferent and uncaring.
If I’m being miserable it means I care about people.
If I’m being happy it means I don’t care about people.
People shouldn’t be happy, what with all the misery in the world.
It’s wrong to be happy.

Now, occasionally, I would see this lady smile or feel good about something. But invariably, she would also feel uneasy and GUILTY about feeling good, as if she were committing a crime (and, of course, according to the beliefs she had learned, she WAS being immoral and committing a crime).

This lady was much more comfortable being grim.

How about you? How comfortable are YOU with feeling good?

What’s YOUR justification or rationalizations for feeling bad or less than how you want to feel?

If you’re not comfortable with feeling really good (which, from what I observe, is the plight of most people) you are probably, most likely or invariably sabotaging yourself and keeping good things from coming into or staying in your life.

From what I understand, you can’t create the completely happy conditions and life that you really want UNLESS you’re completely comfortable with being happy.

Doesn't that just make sense?

So, how happy are you willing to be?

And, what beliefs will you have to drop or resolve, in order to be as happy as you want to be?

Here’s a story of how one person came to ‘learn’ how to feel bad.

When she was a little girl about 6 years old, she heard her parents arguing about money. She didn’t know exactly why they were arguing but it was easy enough to tell they were upset and angry and worried.

The little girl got the idea that she would run around them and show them how to be happy and delighted. So, while they were arguing at the kitchen table she ran in and ran around them and she was being happy and carefree and delighted, and she thought she would distract them and they would catch her mood and be happy too.

Instead, what happened is, her mother yelled at her, “STOP IT!!!” Can’t you see we’re busy here? Can’t you be a little considerate?” And her mother turned away and started to cry.

Then, the little girl had a thought. It went something like this. “I just made my mom get even more upset. I know what to do now. I was wrong. I’m not supposed to be happy when others are upset. I’m a bad girl for being happy when other people are upset. I’m supposed to be unhappy and upset, especially when there are money problems going on.”

The little girl didn’t remember that the reason she did what she did was to cheer her parents up.

The little girl didn’t understand that her mother completely misunderstood her intentions. The little girl just thought her mother must be RIGHT. And she must have been WRONG to be happy and try to cheer them up.

The little girl didn’t understand that her parents being upset was not her doing, and that she didn’t really cause her mom to cry.

But now the little girl created the belief that she was supposed to be upset when there are money problems.

* * * * * * * *

Now, here we are as adults. We’ve long forgotten how we have learned to be unhappy about so many things. And now, as adults we can’t understand why it is often so hard to feel good, when all we want to do is feel good.

We think it’s our PRESENT situations or problems that is causing us to feel bad, but it’s really not. Somehow, someway, a long time ago, we LEARNED to feel bad in so many situations. It wasn’t intended. None of the people who loved us ever intentionally wanted to teach us to feel bad.

They really wanted us to be happy. But so often, they weren’t too happy, so they couldn’t teach us how to be really happy.

So, what’s the answer? To un-learn how we’ve learned to be unhappy. How does one do that?

It can help to know that the reason we often feel unhappy really has nothing to do with our present circumstances. It has to do with how we’ve mis-learned to be unhappy in certain circumstances, and we learned this a long time ago.

Of course, the same thing goes for any time we feel unhappy about practically anything.

A long time ago we somehow learned to be unhappy.

When we were born we were born full of potential and eagerness and unlimited wonderful possibilities. But we learned to believe otherwise. We were often taught (often, for so-called good reasons) to believe we’re not so wonderful, or it was wrong for us to believe we were wonderful. And, even though we are still wonderful, our beliefs that we aren’t hold us down and make us unhappy.

Can you imagine how wonderful life could be, if we would un-learn the screwed up ideas we have about ourselves or circumstances?

Happiness was your birthright that you unknowingly and unwittingly gave away. With a litle courage you can take it back.

“We would look for endless ways of soothing and supporting ourselves, in the same way that you would anyone that you love. When you see a little child teetering, learning to walk, not in balance, falling over, you don't say, "Get up, you little dummy!" You say, "Good for you! I love seeing that! I love the progress that you are living!" All that we are asking is that you shine that same light of love and respect on yourself and that you give yourself more of a break.” Abraham-Hicks

Three: The third thing to being happy and feeling good is to come to truly understand and realize, it’s simply good for you.

Feeling good is not just a good feeling. Feeling good is actually physically good for you. When you are feeling peaceful, or loved or loving, worthy, worthwhile or any other feeling of well being, scientific research has shown that you are actually creating chemical changes in your body that strengthen your immune system and also creates the internal climate for all your body’s systems to work more harmoniously and effectively towards health and well being.

Studies have also shown that when you are feeling good – feeling worthwhile, feeling appreciation, etc. -- you are more likely to attract the attention of the people who can help you achieve the life you really want. (Like Attracts Like)

When you are feeling good you will naturally get wonderful, constructive ideas that you wouldn’t otherwise. And, when you are feeling good, you are more likely to have the wherewithal to act on these ideas and create the results you really want. Joe Vitale, a man who was homeless for years and is now a millionaire and best selling author and speaker, calls this ‘taking inspired action’ and says it’s a key to the wonderful changes he’s come to experience.

Here’s a link to an article by him, appropriately titled ‘Be Happy Now’:

http://www.mindpowernews.com/BeHappyNow.htm

In a nutshell:

"It is never too late to find a good feeling place about anything. Things will constantly change to match the feeling you have inside." Abraham-Hicks

A couple more thoughts I want to add to this, that I've just come across.

“To the extent that you can find joy in yourself you can enjoy everything. When you have bliss in your heart you can go through the countryside and see that everything is blissful. But if you’re unhappy in yourself, no matter where you go everything will disappoint you. When you’re attitude is right you find that you can take anything and enjoy it all.

You will find that your life is ENTIRELY self-made. And if you find happiness in your life it is because you MAKE that happiness for yourself.”

“There is such a thing as expecting success, and expecting failure. And if you expect success, if you have solution consciousness, you will be amazed to see how often the answers come to you, even ‘out of the blue’. Somebody can come and give it to you, without even knowing that he knows anything. Those answers are in the ether. You are living in a great sea of wisdom, and the only reason you don’t touch that is because your mind isn’t on that. When you are solutions conscious you put out the kind of magnetism that attracts the kind of success you want." From 35:30 – 36:06 of ‘Achieve Success In Life’ by Swami Kriyananda (J. Donald Walters) disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda at: http://www.ananda.org/mp3/Swam...i_072608_LA_Talk.mp3

Phil

Hey Phil...nine hour shift...no glasses....could hardly read your post on my iphone on break

My first reaction was that I do not have a problem with everyone being happy, but my happiness seems to come at someone else's expense. Say if I leave my husband who thinks he still loves me and needs me financially, or the kids who think I like them...or if I say no to the lonely lady accross the street, or yes to my landscape boss who has a wife, then I will be the cause of pain and that will not make me happy in the long run.

You know...I never thought money should be earned either cause I never once felt good about working for anything in my life. But its not a popular opinion. If society ran the way I'd like it to run, I'd be worth plenty and happiness wouldn't be dependent on someone else's list of virtues.

You're not responsible for how your husband feels.

That's just for starters,...

Phil

quote:

Originally posted by annievt:
My first reaction was that I do not have a problem with everyone being happy, but my happiness seems to come at someone else's expense. Say if I leave my husband who thinks he still loves me and needs me financially, or the kids who think I like them...or if I say no to the lonely lady accross the street, or yes to my landscape boss who has a wife, then I will be the cause of pain and that will not make me happy in the long run.

I know what you mean. I think we all experience this feeling from time to time. Maybe even more so for moms. I experience a version of this every morning when my cat whines to be let into the bedroom where she is not allowed. My thoughts go like this.

"I wish that cat would just shut up."
*inner gasp of horror at self*

"Oh, no, the poor kitty is miserable. I can't just IGNORE her. That would be CRUEL. How would I feel if I were dependent on someone else and they just ignored my needs?"

*remembers that I am responsible for my own happiness*
"Wait, her happiness is HER responsibility -- not mine."

*remembers that all experiences are reflections of my inner thoughts or beliefs*
"What thoughts or beliefs have brought this meowing cat to my bedroom door?"

*remembers that I don't have to encourage experiences by focusing on them.*
"Kitty, I love you, but I'm not letting you in."

*kitty meows again and blood pressure goes up*
"I don't have to be upset. Her misery is not my fault. She has food, water, and a litter box. Her well being does not depend on being in this room."

*breaths, feels better, goes back to what I was doing*

Sometimes I let her in.

Love and blessings,
Rachel

quote:

Originally posted by annievt:
...or if I say no to the lonely lady accross the street ...

Just on a practical level, could you find her a group of retired people who meet and play bridge or something in your area, or a group at meetup.com or a local social or church group who share an interest of hers (any age, and meetup.com have all kinds of groups, from baking to discussion groups)...

I know you're not responsible but if you feel she's got a problem and you can help her with it because you see the picture more objectively, there's nothing wrong with that - it's only when her problem becomes yours and you can't get away, that her reaching out to you stops being a chance to create "more life for all" and becomes "less life" for you - and, ultimately, her as well, if she ever realises you're not happy with that. Nobody really likes to be a burden, after all, no matter how much they have found themselves in a situation of genuine need.

It's been my experience that older people who find themselves alone probably don't automatically think of the best ideas to meet new people, because from living with their family when they were young, to getting married (or staying at home with their folks) and maybe working, there were always people just kind of "provided" by circumstance: I however and a lot of my generation moved alone to the local "Big City" and realised right away that a social life is something you CAN build, deliberately, and then sometimes even rebuild again when people move on, move out of the area, and so on.

This might not be an experience she's had, that's the only reason I'm mentioning it.