Even with the most positive outlook I find that just occasionally I come into contact with a negative situation. Right now I have this situation with an e-bay transaction. A user sold me an item that does not fit with the description that was given. I followed the rules and e-bay have found in my favour. But still the seller refuses to pay up and instead sends abusive e-mails.

It isn’t enough to follow the rules, and even with a positive outlook I’m unsure how this situation can resolve. I have faith, but little else.

Any advice?

Very kindest wishes,

If you do what is right the Universe will put things right. But again we should not be concerned with the "how". The seller is clearly of a competetive mind and we know that that is ultimately self-defeating.

While not wanting to get into litigation etc have you reported back to e-bay on the seller? Have you asked their advice because they must deal with this situation all the time.

It is difficult in such a situation but it it important to avoid the negative emotions of anger and resentment, or anything that gets you into a competetive mind. Let go of the emotional attachment and let the Universe do its work.

I just can't help but keep thinking that an even better item than the one you received (or thought you were buying) is on the way to you! Accept it and go about your life in gratitude that it is done. Focus on what you want which is ultimately the item you wanted to buy.

Please let us know when you receive it!

Remember; As Iamwilling said: " Focus on what you want and keep your mind off what you don't want!!!"

Cast it out like it was a poison, because it really is!

God bless

Thank you for all of your wonderful comments.

I have reported the issue and the user has been barred from both e-bay and paypal. I’ve sent the user a message telling him I will no longer respond to him and I’ve also forwarded his abusive messages onto the abuse department of his ISP.

That will hopefully keep this guys negative thoughts away from me.

I tend to believe that we attract things into our lives – but in this case I’m not sure how – one is involved in humanity after all!

This is just a thought...just as we are given exams in schools, I feel as though the Universe kind of quizzes us on what we've learned since agreeing to change our "up til now" way of thinking. Perhaps it's as though we need to show that we have mastered the concepts before new information can be given...if this is truth, I would say you are being quizzed to go on to the next level...that's great! just my thought...

Interesting topic.

I'm noticing that toxic people seem to be off my radar these days, and vice versa. Having become more accepting and less confrontational myself, I attract more acceptance and less drama. My more toxic friends seem to have gravitated away. I'm quite amazed, now that I think of it.

I sat down with the copier serviceman at work to chat about the level of service we've been getting. In the past, such a meeting would have netted me frustration and rude behavior behind my back. Instead, I approached the guy from a position of understanding and appreciation (what I want for myself, I want for everyone), and he and his entire chain of command have been bending over backwards for me ever since.

SOGR is transformative. When you live the principles...when you become the principles, everything changes.

I recently let my boss know that I want a significant salary increase. Now, I work in government; money's tight, salaries and job classifications are almost set in stone, and they'd almost have to get City Council to create a new job class to get me a good raise.

I have no control over any of that and I couldn't imagine how it would come about, so I let go of the how and focused on gratitude. This week, I decided to go to the Council meeting to hear a couple of issues, and as I leafed through the agenda items, there it was...

...the City Council created a "Senior" class for my position and added four new pay steps - exactly the amount I had in mind for my salary. Thank you! Yes!

There are no negative situations. There are only situations. Change what you bring to them, change what you expect of them, and you create your own outcome.

Laurie

Hello again Friends,

You’ll have read my other posts on this topic – it has all gone quiet which I am pleased about.

HOWEVER, something happened yesterday – I got a card saying there was something waiting for me at the local post office.

I went to pick it up. I’d forgotten but a while back I had taken part in a survey for a mens products company. They’ve sent me a gift of enough shave gel, moisturiser and after-shave to last me months.

I can report that the formless is alive and well and is looking after its own! :-)

Hi!
I'm new here and have been reading the forum postings with interest.
I am at p.40 of SOGR and it is pulling together a lot of other stuff I've read on getting rich. It seems to me that the principle can be used for anything?
Presumably I can use it to stop smoking - if I keep seeing myself as a non-smoker then that's how it will be?

Casper - your experience with ebay. Sometimes I think we are given the negative and we have a choice whether we are drawn into it or not. It is necessary to take action like you did and then at some point we have to cut off from it - like Dazzer said. The guy probably gets a buzz from you reaction - some sort of power trip and we give our power away when we buy into it.
That's what I've experienced anyway. The ego loves to get into power battles!
Sometimes we have to accept our losses and walk away - and feel powerful in doing that!

Anyway being a Newbie here, I'm sure you've all got a lot I can learn from.

Great to be here.
Cheers for now........

quote:

How do you let the formless deal with a negative situation?

Casper,

I just had this thought (again, I might add). It came up the first time I saw your post title, but for some reason I did not mention it. I believe the answer to your question is in your question. To clarify, what I am saying is to LET something means that your part in the thing is to get out of the way or let it go. If you want to LET the formless deal with it, then you turn it over to the formless to deal with it and you go about your other business. That simple. You just let the formless do it. You really don't DO anything yourself. Make sense? Just think of how powerful this whole concept is in terms of the rest of your life! Wow!

Thanks so much for your contributions to this forum.

Hi Leslie,

Thank you for your thoughts on this issue – both you and others have provided what I consider to be very supportive comments.

I think there is a lot of truth in what you say – it is necessary to “allow” things to happen in some circumstances. I say some because of course taking “no action” does not entitle one to receive riches. The formless rewards us according to more than just what is desired.

I suppose in a way I am saying that in the end everything turns out for the best – even if that seems unlikely at the time. This reminds me of one of Earl Nightingale’s stories about a priest who was walking past a farmer’s field. The farmer was working in the field and the crop was clearly thriving. The priest stopped to complement the farmer and remarked that God had blessed the farmer with a fine crop. The farmer replied “Yes, you should have seen it when He had it to himself”.

Everything works together.

In the case of me e-bay transaction above, I think lack of respect for one’s fellow man (or person I should perhaps say) had its part to play. Now that’s a whole new ball of wax.

Casper,

I'm new to this board, but I want to put in my 2 cents because your situation resonates with me.

So much so, I've taken your title and started another with a negative situation of my own. You may want to read it.

It's rather long though, but from one war veteran to another, I'd be interested in what you think.

Anyway, what you said below, it is due to a lack of respect. The person you were dealing with was obviously of a competitive mindset, and unfortunately, it's especially difficult not to get into a competitive mindset yourself when such an individual is also abusive.

These people have issues of their own, and probably thrive on negativity, and go out of their way to create it.

But at least it looks like ebay did the right thing, even though it sounds as if you're not going to get any satisfaction beyond that.

Perhaps something better is waiting for you, as someone below mentioned.

Jay

OK, Casper, you may not like hearing this, but it's true. Lack of respect or whatever has happened here, who attracted/created it?

Your past thinking has created your present circumstances, whatever they may be.

So if you would choose not to experience more of the same, it's YOUR thinking that must change. Seeking to change outside circumstances can only bring temporary results, if any. Everything begins in the realm of the formless, and everything that happens for or to you begins in your own thoughts and feelings.

So you get to choose from here on in and it's important to stop focusing on the past as there is no power there.

Hello Rebecca,

I don’t see how I could have created this but yes, as I said in another message, I must have attracted it. I don’t mind hearing that at all – I’m surprised you’d think I would – that is the purpose of my message. Practically the situation has been dealt with and the positive is in the upswing.

While I agree with and am grateful for your comments I don’t want to attract any negativity. In this particular case, when I sent my payment for the item I was delighted because I had been searching for the item for a long time. I didn’t have any negative associations whatsoever.

When I sell items on e-bay I am very careful to be fair in my descriptions and to maintain a dialog with successful bidder all through the transaction. When I buy I leave feedback and even sent a message when I am particularly delighted. I have a very high feedback score, and it is all positive feedback.

Yes, you are right – there is no power in the past [in the way you mean it]. But we must not forget the past either. If we do not learn by the mistakes of the past then we may fall by them again.

So here we have it as per SOGR: I must have attracted the negativity in my world. In fact, I must have sought it out somehow.

I don’t know how. And I don’t want to again. But how can I stop something that I don’t know about?

I’m not focusing on this [past] event – in fact I had not though of it for some time until your message was posted – I’m just outlining the though train for you.

I’m focusing on the positive people I deal with, and the positive events, and the future.

Thanks for your reply and keep up the good work on the newsletter.

quote:

Originally posted by Casper2:
I don’t see how I could have created this but yes, I must have attracted it.

We are responsible.
Responsibility means
response-ability.
I have completely realized that
some days ago,
when I had a powerful emotional ah-ha insight.
I will not enter in details,
but I can witness that it´s true.
Only when we take full responsibility
we can change.
Our choices can create nightmares or miracles.
In any case,it´s a choice.
Even when it seems hard to see HOW
we create/attract unpleasant circumstances
we must assume that´s true.
We attracted them.
And the moment you accept your responsibility
you´ll start to notice more and more.
No excuses.
No tricks of mind(when we try to see
other people as the cause ).
We are the cause.
We choiced:somehow,some day,somewhere.
I am thankful I got it.

quote:

I don’t see how I could have created this

Casper, please read this other post I made yesterday on another topic, as I think the essence of it will clarify some things for you about how we create/attract things we don't want:

Click here to read it

Hi Rebecca,

Thank you for your reply.

I read your posting the essence of which I understand to be that we attract what we expect in subtle ways – the example you gave is of preparing for something attracts it.

How did I prepare for this event though? I had no experience of dealing with it – it was only after it happened that I found out about the complaint procedures etc. I treat people in the way that I would want to be treated; there is no negative connotation to that.

To what extent do you think preparing for something is attractive? For example, are you inviting Flu by getting your annual Flu Vaccine/Shot?

It is clear that if you tell a child, for example, to be careful not to drop the cup then you are in effect giving the order “Drop the cup, not” – and the effect might be predictable. But I’m not sure I can sign up to the idea that preparation invites things. Do you expect your child to run out in front of a car BECAUSE you teach them to cross the road safely (“look both ways for cars first”)?

Perhaps the question is do you believe that your thoughts (expectations, wishes etc) cause the universe to fulfil them through you or in spite of you? Or to put it another way – fulfilment through internal changes or external changes?

...and what if there were no hypothetical questions?! :-)

quote:

Originally posted by Casper2:
How did I prepare for this event though?

Only you can discover.

However,there are some common issues to many people.
1)What about that little voice inside
that we just ignore most of time?
It´s called intuition.
2)What about the victim role
that many people like to play?
I am talking of something so common
that it´s almost impossible to see it clearly.
It´s almost uncounscious.
3)What about low self-esteem
that just make us choose something or someone
that would be better not to choose?
I could go on...
The point is:
SOGR is the cure.
No matter how these issues(and many others)
conditioned our lives,
SOGR teachings show us
that if we focus on the final outcome
we´ll get it.
That means having CONSTANTLY
a positive self-image.
That means great CMI for ALL areas of our life.

quote:

Perhaps the question is do you believe that your thoughts (expectations, wishes etc) cause the universe to fulfil them through you or in spite of you? Or to put it another way – fulfilment through internal changes or external changes?

The Universe/Formless/Whatever-Name-You-Choose doesn't judge or decide. It always just says yes to WHATEVER you are giving your focus, faith, and feeling to. Whatever is dominant and strong in your thoughts and desires will show up in your experience, in one form or another.

So let's say the law requires me to purchase fire insurance in order to get a mortgage. If I wanted a mortgage, I'd buy the policy. But I wouldn't then go around worrying that my house might burn down or that I didn't buy the right coverage or what if they raise the rates or any of a zillion other things that a lot of people DO spend energy and effort on.

Worrying is definitely preparing for problems, even disaster. So is blaming. So is complaining. So is habitually watching TV news and stewing yourself in every disaster that takes place so that it permeates your thought without you even noticing. So are a lot of the kinds of thinking most, it seems, engage in daily.

Not sure what you mean by internal or external changes, but don't think it matters much HOW things are manifested. What's important to know is that we are creating our own experiences.

I think you may be thinking that in order to have a problem on ebay you'd have to have been thinking specifically about having a problem on ebay. But no, it's more a matter of the essence of the experience than the particulars. For example it's easy to see that people who focus their thinking in ways that causes them to feel totally stressed out most of the time get sick. They weren't necessarily thinking of getting sick, but they were definitely focusing on stuff they did not want rather than joyfully putting their energy into imagining what they did want.

I would also add that it is of little or no value to you to keep trying to figure out what you did in the past. That's only directing your thought away from what you want and you have no power in the past. Just start thinking more about what you do want NOW and let yourself get into all those wonderful feelings. Let the rest go and move on if you don't want to attract more of the same.

Hi Casper,

Hmm, well I remember when I was of a more positive way of thinking (which I am currenlty trying to regain thru SOGR) I would say to myself, "look on the bright side."

So lets see if we can find a bright side to this.

You were acting in the best ways of "the certain way" and E-Bay confirmed this by ruling in your favor.

Look at how much money was involved. Now divide by 2. Would you feel better if it was only half of what you feel you lost? So, now multiple the amount lost by 2. How would you feel if you had lost twice as much? So, try and think in terms of that it could have been even more money.

The big stores lose money on returned items. Why not think of how they view it as a cost of business? We as individuals can think of this as a cost of living our lives and growing and getting to the things that add value to us.

I know it is easy for someone who is not effected by what happened to you to say these things but sometimes it takes one not involved to point out some things. It is tougher to be the one going through it but "when" you do get throught it you will actually be even more positive and able to walk through life with the people who are not as evolved as you are.

As for the person who is sending the abusive emails, they feel guilty inside and crave that someone would tell them they are in the right. It is fear that drives them and anger and hurt.

Thank god you are not like that person. What a horrible way to be in life wouldnt you say so? It is like they are punishing themselves everyday.

Hmm, now we must ask how can the certain way help turn the unpleasant event in something that enriches you.

I think we should ask Rebecca that question.

Take care and chin up.

Jim888