Yesterday was a whammy. I won't give details other than to say I shared something beautiful with a loved one, and ugliness was reflected back. (I guess that means there is ugliness in me). There were a lot of tears yesterday. But I have been BLASTing and tapping and even had a friend help me. In spite of the tremendous principles I learn daily from this course and other good books (that are not a course), we are human, and sometimes things hurt. I have lots more room for growth and hoping for a much happier day. I am going to spend time reading and being lifted here in the forums today.

Hi Dawn,

From what I understand, it’s not “two steps back” but instead a catalyst for some great step forward. (Which I imagine you know, but I’m just mentioning to remind you.)

“Every adversity contains within it an equal or greater opportunity.” -- W. Clement Stone, created a personal worth of over $500 million in the 1960s

A trick of sorts is, not to be fooled by pain or difficulty. There is always a hidden prize, a hidden good of equal or greater value. And since this one seems to be a big one for you, it must also have the potential to be some GREAT prize.

A couple years back someone said something to me that almost felt like someone physically pulling my heart right out of me. That was a very extraordinary experience for me because it was emotionally painful, but more so because I have been a very good student of emotional self-responsibility for years. For years there has been hardly an event that has had any negative emotional impact on me for more than a few moments. In other words, I was used to hardly ever being “taken by surprise” emotionally speaking.

But out of that experience came, of course, a whole new level of understanding of how I (and it appears to me all of us) create my own emotional experiences, sometimes at so deep a level that I can be unaware of it for years, until some ‘triggering experience’ comes to set off a torrid of feelings.

It’s just some belief. And a belief is just an idea. It doesn’t have to be true, but just because we believe it, when an event comes along to ‘trigger’ it, we will FEEL what we believe.

Why do some people hate and FEEL so vicious and unkind towards some other people because of their race, religion, nationality or even because they’re from some other neighborhood other than their own? It’s just an idea that they unquestioningly came to believe.

They’re just unquestioned thoughts that were repeated and became beliefs, and then, for better or worse, we experience them as FEELINGS.

But knowing this we can consciously go through the process of becoming aware of them, examining them intelligently and thus refuting them.

No need for perpetuating blame, shame, guilt, etc. Are you feeling some tendency to want to ‘beat up’ on yourself (or someone else)? If so, let me suggest to you that this ‘tendency’ is just evidence of another belief.

That’s what we feel,… beliefs. When you have any FEELING, notice or discover that you’re just experience some BELIEF you’ve picked up in your life experience. So now, if it doesn’t serve you, you can become aware of it and go through a process to let it go or resolve it (which is also letting it go).

“We create our own heaven or hell. Your thoughts can imprison you or set you free. Complications, conditions or people do not upset you, but the way you think about them causes your upset. Freedom is not possible until we discipline and retrain our minds.” - p. 124 of Choose To Live Peacefully by Susan Smith Jones, Ph.D.

Phil

Hi Dawn;

quote:

Yesterday was a whammy. I won't give details other than to say I shared something beautiful with a loved one, and ugliness was reflected back. (I guess that means there is ugliness in me).

I don't think that there is uggliness in you if you share something with a loved one or something else! I don't know why ugliness was reflected back - and neither do you. We are reminded of our business, someone else's business and gods business. How some one chooses to respond is thier business. What someone sees as beautiful someone else will see as ugly!

I would continue to share beautiful things or thoughts with your loved ones; and everyone else that you come in contact with. Normally; but not always beauty will be returned!

quote:

I guess that means there is ugliness in me

I'd say it just means that at some time you've held similar thoughts in mind, that's all. And who hasn't?

I'd also say beauty/good WILL be returned. The timing may just be unexpected.

It's only "two steps back" if you think it is. It all depends on what you choose to call it and how you choose to respond -- in your ongoing thoughts. It could just as easily be a great leap forward.

You're doing great, Dawn!

(And it might help to remember that whatever that person said or did is either an expression of love or a CALL for love -- no exceptions. We're such funny animals. We sometimes ask for love in the most awkward, crazy ways. But when we do that, we really are doing the best we know how in the moment.)

I just wanted to say how wonderfully different this forum is from the “real” world. People here REALLY care about other people. It’s people like you that are going to make this world a different place! They say surround yourself with the people you most want to become... I think I’m in the right place.

Hi Dawn,

It might take a while to know the meaning of this interchange and its purpose in your life. You have had a shock. Take your time. I agree with Tom - you are sending out something beautiful in an act of love. The reaction doesn't mean there is ugliness in you. Maybe that person couldn't handle what you were giving.

You have the most loving nature. I know from your posts. As everyone says, this is not necessarily a step backwards at all, and very likely a leap forward for you and even could be for the other person as well.

sending you much love
Pauline

I love my SOGR friends! I was looking for your responses. (I get the digest) and it was only this morning that I realized I should check my trash folder. BAD COMPUTER! Gems, not trash.

It has been an interesting experience. Fortunately, I am finding there is still love in the relationship and I am finding that my own stinkin' thinkin' likely caused part of the problem and most of my own feelings. Chances are this person and I will not see eye to eye on some things that are dear to me, but we have a great relationship on lots of other levels.

I still find a lot of hurt lingering in my heart. And I am examining that to see what else is there and where it is coming from. One thing a friend sent to me this week was a way to effectively forgive others. I decided to try it on the different people in my life. I started with those closest to me; mother, father, brother. I stated their name out loud and said what I forgave them for. I listed one by one, things I might want to forgive. And I was amazed that in this process, I had a similar reaction as I have when using EFT. Deep, cleansing sighs.

I have not used it with this person yet, but I am going to.

You are right Phil, it is a catalyst and I am using it as that. To see what in me brought this, to acknowledge it and use it for good. Tom, thanks for the reminder about the different business. Up until now, I had a need to prove some things to this dear person. I am realizing now, that brought the energy of her needing to prove some things to me. What if I drop the need to prove and love her no matter what? And leave her with her own choice to do the same. And if she chooses not to return it, then I can leave her to God. Brilliant Tom. Thanks for reminding me. It's one of the things I heard Rebecca say that I really loved.

Rebecca, I think I can think of it now as three steps forward. "Expression of love or call for love." I love that. The reminders are so good for me. Sharma (and everyone) thank you so much for your kindness. I came through the weekend with a new affirmation for me.

"My heart beats with gratitude, my body vibrates with joy, my thoughts are happy, and I feel great."

I was able to find gratitude in the experience, which helped me to see where I went "wrong" and do something about it. I also feel as if these experiences come forward so I can refine the things I learn and be better at applying them. I am sure one day, something similar will come along and I will finally have the wherewithal to just observe, be, love as it all unfolds. Thank you friends!

quote:

still find a lot of hurt lingering in my heart. And I am examining that to see what else is there and where it is coming from. One thing a friend sent to me this week was a way to effectively forgive others.

Remember to forgive yourself too, Dawn. As you already know, you are adjusting and adapting to a sensation of pain, and that comes from your own perception of something external to yourself. It may have started from someone you love, but your response to whatever she did created the pain.

It also helps to remember that perception is not necessarily the truth. It may appear to feel true, but when you start to perceive the greater truth and idea of yourself, the intensity of these painful feelings will subside, and you will naturally find that every experience must contain the seed of greater wisdom from your heart. and this wisdom is invaluable, as they come from somewhere deep in your heart that you would not have been aware of, and therefore inaccessible to you, until you had this experience.

Thanks for sharing your experience.

Good point Kevin. That did come up in my mind and I will follow through.