I want to turn the corner so to speak. I am not feeling 100% upbeat and ecstatic and I want to change that.

I want to change those thoughts and just wondering what others think about to motivate themselves?

Time is a big issue for me and I think that is one place to start. I need to make a schedule and find a way to make it work for me. I exercise after work and it is a real hassle to work around sometimes. I love my sleep but am thinking I may have to get up an hour early and do it in the morning. I have mountains of things I could be doing at work but its hard to get motivated to start climbing that mountain. I am so tired at work too maybe exercise in the morning will help. I am not eating that bad either.

Do the successful people here have a rigid schedule, flexible one, or any combination?

I am just curious what works for others?

Hi Capt Jack,

I think that it is helpful to have good habits, which calls for a fairly rigid schedule. That said I also believe in being flexible.

I first would get rid of that mountain of things that you could be doing! I would guess that most of it dosen't need to be done. I would seperate that pile priority wise into smaller piles, one of those piles would be the trash can. I would determine when I would need to take care of my customers or prospects, and cast that schedule in stone. If you are taking care of your customers you can hire someone to take care of everything else business wise; you still have to take care of you.

I like working out in the morning best, at what I believe your level of fitness I would be doing about 20 minutes a day, 3 days of cardio alternating with 3 days of strength training. You don't want to overdo it; you could burn all of your energy on exercise which defeats the purpose. As you build strength and endurance you can increase the time spent working out; curently I spend 1.5 hours at the gym.

I like the gym but I didn't start out there, I started out by walking around the block and doing exercises with my body weight at home.

Hope this helps!

Thanks Tom, I just love to sleep lol.

Most of the mountain of paper work is going the extra mile for my customers or potential customers. Leads that didnt pan out at the time that I could work on. If I could afford to hire someone I would but right now I can't.

I have been exercising for the last 65 days 6 days a week. missed a few here and there.

I have some pending deals and they are taking some time to manifest. I am looking to partner up with someone and he will retire in a year or a two and Ill take over but we need to sit down and discuss how everything will work out. When that happens I will have money to do some marketing and hire people. Crossing my fingers lol.

quote:

I have mountains of things I could be doing at work but its hard to get motivated to start climbing that mountain.

If they feel awful to you, why would you do them?

I thought the idea was to get happy with the awfulness. For instance, I woke up refreshed and excited about a small wood refinishing project I started yesterday. I was happily awake and alone for about 2 1/2 hours til the kids woke up. Then my heart sank and my duties became "awful".

Usually when I write about awfulness, you folks tell me I need to stop complaining about my natural inclinations and be happy no matter what.

So why doesn't Capt J have to make himself happy where he is at right now?

He feels he needs to do his work to complete his cmi and I feel I need to tolerate children today if I want to live in my pretty lake house.

Shouldn't we both just make peace with that..unless you want me to haul the kiddies to the orphanage today so I don't have to experience awful today.

They've asked to go bowling...and then there is the grocery shopping. I can make myself enjoy bowling to a point, but I'd rather be alone working on my project and resting my back for work tomorrow. But right now it just seems awful. I will hve to work to mentally and emotionally to enjoy it.

Or....

How do I get out of the awful stuff? How does Jack get out of the awful stuff?

hello,

when i get in my awful space i now use EFT. thanks to ancient soul. take a deep breath and plan the tasks of the job or day in your mind as you want to see them go/be accomplished. i believe it's creative visualization. close your eyes and think of all the loving thoughts you can about the people involved in the situation and be grateful they are in your life. be grateful for the work that provides you income to do what ever it is you do. just know this too....there's always a happy medium.

namaste`
dwinnemmen

Here are a couple of thoughts about mountains of work:

When I first became a manager, my brother gave me some great advice about time management. He said, "You are never going to be able do everything you think you should. So you have to stop expecting it of yourself." The truth is that if you're trying to do everything, you just keep thinking of more and more things to do, until it's not possible to do it all. If you expect it of yourself, you just make yourself tired and ineffective. That goes triple for owning the business.

When I started this course, I read one of Rebecca's posts saying that success should be fun and easy. Yeah, really. Did you get that? She didn't say force yourself to do a bunch of stuff so you can enjoy the rewards, she said the process should be fun and easy. it really shouldn't feel like work. Since then, I have let go of almost all of my stress. I stopped doing a lot of stuff I thought I had to, and have been much more successful! It turns out, most of that stuff doesn't have to be done "now." A lot of it doesn't have to be done at all. My customers and staff are much happier when I am happy. If I'm stressed, everybody is stressed. Plus, some of my best money days have been days I took off!

If your work feels like stress, SET IT ASIDE. As Tom said, take care of your customers now. Only do those things that are directly related to the customer's immediate needs -- like filling orders, keeping appointments, etc. All that "going the extra mile" needs to sit still until you are ready for it. If you have to slog through, force yourself, try to get "motivated" or anything like that, you are operating in the competitive mode. Just stop. Rest. How do you know when you are ready for it? When you get so excited that you do it for fun. That's inspired action, and it's easy and obvious. If you don't feel it, don't do it. It's that simple.

I'm going to say this again in case you didn't get it the many other times it's been posted on this forum: Read carefully--

YOUR SUCCESS IS NOT RELATED TO YOUR PHYSICAL ACTIONS. IT IS RELATED TO YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS.

That's why Rebecca says to do what feels good. If you still think that doing work you hate will give you what you want, you are still operating in competition. That's okay, you'll just be tired a lot. And a lot of your work will be wasted. Your choice.

Go ahead and list all the objections you have to doing it this way...

Then try it anyway.

Love and blessings,
Rachel

quote:

Originally posted by annievt:
I thought the idea was to get happy with the awfulness.
Usually when I write about awfulness, you folks tell me I need to stop complaining about my natural inclinations and be happy no matter what.

Or....

How do I get out of the awful stuff? How does Jack get out of the awful stuff?

Look, Annie. I don't want to sound cruel, but you once said your youngest child is 15. I know a guy who left home at 15 and has supported himself ever since. Doesn't your son live with his dad? Why can't you just leave? I'm pretty convinced that none of this stuff is working for you because you refuse to do the one obvious thing you want to do -- that is live alone without marital or mothering responsibilities.

To my knowledge, no one has ever said that you have to "get happy with the awfulness." We are advised to use our current circumstance to get to our desired goals. And we are taught to give thanks for all the good things in our lives. If you hate your life, you are going to have to come to terms with the fact that no one is forcing you to live this way. You choose it every day that you don't leave.

Frankly, if I were your kids and I knew you felt this way, I would beg you to do whatever you need to be happy.

What we keep trying to tell you both is that if you don't like it, don't do it! No one is holding a gun to your head, and you are not trapped in a prison. I know it feels as though you have no choice, but the magic of SOGR is that you really, really do have a choice. And choosing to be happy is not only what we all want you to do, what you were sent to this earth to do, but it's also the secret to financial success.

Until you are able to accept that idea, you will continue to feel that these principles are not working for you.

We all love you, but we can't do it for you. No one can.

Love and blessings,
Rachel

quote:

Originally posted by Rachel:

YOUR SUCCESS IS NOT RELATED TO YOUR PHYSICAL ACTIONS. IT IS RELATED TO YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS.

Rachel,

Sorry, I just can't agree with this. I see so many people try to change thoughts and keep the same actions and fail so miserably. In fact the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Action is one of the most therapeutic things there is. Take for instance people living in a messy house. Changing their attitude about it may work, but I have seen so many people do the actual cleaning and then feel great. Weight loss is similar, you can try to "feel" better about yourself, but you will actually feel better by getting in motion and loosing the weight which will probably change your attitude about yourself. I find many of the people who are stale with an issue are that way because of a lack of action.

When I work with people, I use the rule of the three. Focus on three things you want to see change and then focus on three actions per thing and do those actions. It works beautifully.

Rave,

Action can be a great way to change your thoughts and feelings. I agree!

For those of us who try to act out of fear or a sense of necessity, the actions can actually be counter-productive, or at least much harder than they need to be. Forcing ourselves to do things because we think the actions will bring us success is the competitive way of doing things. It's hard and exhausting.

Doing things that feel good is doing things in the certain way. That kind of action does "work beautifully" and it is what I call inspired action.

Thanks for clearing that up!

Love and blessings,
Rachel

quote:

I see so many people try to change thoughts and keep the same actions and fail so miserably.

And the only reason people would keep doing the same ACTIONS is because they have not yet shifted their thoughts and feelings.

There is no amount of action taken from a place of dis-harmony that can EVER make up for the effect of that dis-harmony.

In my experience of studying, living, and teaching the certain way over these past 11 years (wow, I can hardly believe it's been that long!), this is what I've seen time and again. This is why people fail. Not because they fail to take action or take the "wrong" actions, but because they simply keep on thinking the same old thoughts which generate the same old feelings so they get the same old results. talk about insanity.

Countless people take action. In the example of weight loss, there are likely millions of people who have taken action again and again. People who are overweight and have tried every diet are not unmotivated or lazy. They have tried and tried and tried -- in their actions. But until something shifts in their thinking about themselves and their worthiness and their situations, the actions are only making everything worse, causing them to feel defeated once again.

I find it totally disingenous to say that if an overweight person would just take action and actually lose the weight, he or she would feel better about him- or herself.

Well, yeah. But that doesn't help that person let go of the weight. It's bass-ackwards as my great-grandma would have said.

(There's a great new book out called Women, Food, and God that gives loads of evidence for this, plus tells how to make the shift. The author has a most fascinating personal history.

Get the thoughts and feelings into alignment and then do whatever pleases you from THAT place. Action for the purpose of shifting your thoughts and feelings right now can be wonderful. But taking action because you are believing that the ACTION is what creates is painful and pointless.

Inspired action -- that comes from a positive shift in thoughts and feelings and is taken for the pleasure of the action itself -- is totally in harmony with whatever it is you desire to experience.

Merely "motivated" action -- the kind that comes from fear or despair or frustration -- can only lead to more of the same sooner or later because the focus, faith, and feeling are still on something UNwanted.

Hi Rachel,

i want to add to the mothering marital statement..
while experiencing my first marriage, i became fully aware of how unhappy my family was. my daughter was in pre-school at the time. at the end of each day i would get a how she is doing report.( she had been unhappy and isolating herself from the whole experience). i admit i was in distress over the unhappy energy surrounding us all.(and it was coming from within me). the day i came to realize that divorce was the best solution to the situation i felt this wave of release and relief. to my surprise the very next day the teacher reported my daughter had "turned the corner" and behaved and intereacted with the classroom with a feeling of relief and joy. my children feel what i feel as we are connected, my daughter was only four at the time. staying stuck for the "sake" of the children does not work, it's letting go with love, faith and belief that we do our very best for our children that brings them joy and feeds them to grow.

i tell my son " there is slways another way just open up to allow it to come."

namaste`

dwinnemmen

quote:

I find it totally disingenous to say that if an overweight person would just take action and actually lose the weight, he or she would feel better about him- or herself.

Right on the money! I read long time ago in one of Dr. Maxwell Maltz's books that many people came to him for cosmetic surgery, thinking that they will become who they want to be if only they looked more beautiful. Some do become more confident, of course, but the real secret wasn't the change in their appearance but the change in their thinking!

Thanks for the great post, Rebecca!

Great advice but I am still trying to wrap my head around some things. As a business owner there are things I have to do and some I do not like to do. When I have more money I can and will hire someone to do the things I am not liking to do. Until that time comes I have to do them so shouldn’t I just try to do them and try to feel good about them?

One of my goals is to make enough money so I can hire the people to make the business run efficiently even if I am not there. Doing the extra mile will help me get there.

I guess maybe I have beliefs that its very hard work to get to that point but once you get there its ok.

I understand what you are saying is it’s the thoughts that creates not the action and I am just thinking about how to do that?

I feel like I am getting it but I also feel confused at the same time.

quote:

I find it totally disingenous to say that if an overweight person would just take action and actually lose the weight, he or she would feel better about him- or herself.

I have seen it happen, so for some it works.

For those of us who try to act out of fear or a sense of necessity, the actions can actually be counter-productive, or at lease much harder than they need to be. Forcing ourselves to do things because we think the actions will bring us success is the competitive way of doing things. It's hard and exhausting.

Doing things that feel good is doing things in the certain way. That kind of action does "work beautifully" and it is what I call inspired action.

I agree, acting in fear as an avoidance strategy as opposed to acting in love to move toward something better is much less effective.

My point here is that action along with the right kind of thinking is very synergistic and effective.

I have however seen many "negative" people achieve great things through action and will power alone. Is it the best way? Probably not, but it can work.

Well I need to write business and if it isn’t calling I have to go out and get some. That is one thing that I don’t always enjoy doing. After I do it I sometimes have a feeling of accomplishment its just getting started lol.

I need capital to do the things that I really want and I use to think I needed to do all the things I don’t like to get that capital. I am going to have to rethink that and see if I get inspired somehow.

it's the inspired action that get's us where we want to go/be. it is effortless.

namaste`
dwinnemmen

quote:

I have however seen many "negative" people achieve great things through action and will power alone. Is it the best way? Probably not, but it can work.

Is that true? Can you absolutely know that it's true?

(I have yet to find a way to know what's going on in anyone else's thoughts!)

Wally tells us -- and it looks like it's true -- that some people proceed in the opposite direction of what he teaches and appear to be successful. By that, I mean we can see that they've achieved something tangible -- like a lot of money or whatever.

But what I notice is that if you choose to do everything the hard way, through what APPEARS to be action alone -- with all the gritty, painful struggle that entails -- then you'll have to KEEP doing that stuff to keep getting those results.

Ugh. Just not worth it. I prefer joy, delight, being in the flow.

The thing is, though, that even if we can't see it, that person we THINK is getting everything through action has somehow let go of a lot of resistance and is ALLOWING whatever he or she desires to come to him or her.

But since it only pays to focus on what pleases us, delights us, inspires us, enthuses us, I find no reason to give much thought to what must really be going on in someone else's head. I'm never going to know that, so much better to focus on what *I* want to be, do, or have.

quote:

One of my goals is to make enough money so I can hire the people to make the business run efficiently even if I am not there. Doing the extra mile will help me get there.

Well, why not just go for having a thriving business that runs without you -- instead of all this intermediary stuff?

Unless doing that intermediary stuff pleases you, of course.

quote:

I guess maybe I have beliefs that its very hard work to get to that point but once you get there its ok.

So you think you can struggle your way to something you'll like? If that's what you believe, then you'll get plenty of struggle experience.

But your life is NOW. The "journey" IS your life, so if you're not enjoying it NOW, what's the point?

Go deeper. What do you REALLY want to experience, to feel, to have your LIFE be like?

quote:

Originally posted by Rebecca:

quote:

I have however seen many "negative" people achieve great things through action and will power alone. Is it the best way? Probably not, but it can work.

Is that true? Can you absolutely know that it's true?

I am talking about people who express negative thoughts and have outwardly negative personalities and project lots of anxiety. We all know the type. I know many people with fears and anxieties around money that they have expressed to me and they have lots of money, obsess about it yet do well financially. They are constantly scared of not having yet they work hard and have much.

I agree joy and flow are better, I just don't make judgments that one way is the only way. I would not want to live like this, but it proves that like does not always attract like.