First off there is no such thing as constructive criticism. Any criticism is destructive and damaging. It’s like affirmations. We affirm what we want conditions to be. When we give thought to negative things we attract negative things in our life.

I believe when we criticize we are actually recognizing a limiting trait, our own, in another person. Everyone has had to meet and conquer their own demons. These demons have names such as greed, lust, selfishness, intemperance, intolerance, and anger. Criticism must be recognized as a mirror in which we see something that is wrong with our own personality.

I believe that if you put in a strong effort to improve yourself it can not help but call on unseen forces which will influence everyone around you. As you fervently work on improving yourself everyone gets lifted up at the same time. If you see damaging lust in someone else think real hard upon where lust is in your own mind. If you see anger in another work your own anger out and get rid of every last bit of rage that might be hiding inside of you.

At the same time do not be so very hard on yourself. If you see these things in another have joy that your own shortcoming has come to your attention so that you can immediately fix it. Then fix your attention on the strengths that you have.

The universe is kept in balance by the power of love. The planets are kept in suspension and in proper position by the same power.

Learn to practice tolerance, acceptance, forgiveness and patience. These words belong to a power called truth. Avoid their opposites. They belong to a false universe. Do not be deceived. There is far more good around us than bad. The world is constantly getting better. Truth is the love you feel. Be happy today.

Pete Casanova

I really liked reading this, thanks!

You are very welcome!

quote:

Originally posted by blameiton:
First off there is no such thing as constructive criticism. Any criticism is destructive and damaging.

No such thing as constructive criticism?

OK then, let’s give our politicians carte blanche to do whatever they like with our tax dollars.

In fact, let’s not ever criticize being taxed, or should they raise our taxes.

And, if you are in business you certainly would not criticize an employee for missing a deadline, consistently showing up for work late or gabbing endlessly with friends, while on company time. In fact, even when an employee showed promise you would not suggest to them better ways to handle this or that task for fear of it being 'destructive and damaging' constructive criticism.

And, as a consumer you would certainly not complain about buying spoiled milk, or being conned when buying a used car or getting charged for repairs you didn’t need.

And, as a parent, if there is no such thing as constructive criticism, you should be allowed – if you chose to – to beat your children to a pulp, or starve them, or sodomize them?

And if you saw some officer of the law mistreat someone simply, and very obviously, because of their sex, religion or skin color, you would not allow the idea to register in your mind?

Do you recall Rosa Parks refusing to give up her seat on a bus, simply because she wasn’t white? She was expressing criticism,… constructively, I’d say.

Or Gandhi peacefully protesting in India?

I think what you’re trying to address is not ‘constructive criticism.’

Phil

Hey Pete

criticism in the dictionary is defined as "the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything. "

and it can also be defined as "the act of passing severe judgment; censure; faultfinding."
(both definitions from dictionary.com)

So, based on the first definition, whether we are aware of it at any moment, I think we are constantly judging something, some event or someone. If we are aware, obviously we think only good thoughts, thoughts that bring us closer to where we want to be...the law of attraction.

again the first definition implies that constructive criticism isn't necessarily a bad thing, the question is one of a spirit of questioning rather than the actual thing you are criticizing.

Having said that, I can definitely see where you are coming from. and yes, criticism in a "negative" way i.e. based on the second definition is surely the opposite of what SOGR is all about.

And then there is the idea of perception. No one can be critized unless we take it as such... and something that is instructive cannot be taken as criticism at all, however much venom there is to it. that's the perception which moulds our reality

thanks for nice thought provoking post

Blessings

quote:

(originally posted by blameiton)
Criticism must be recognized as a mirror in which we see something that is wrong with our own personality.

Learn to practice tolerance, acceptance, forgiveness and patience. These words belong to a power called truth.

Absolutely!! But I had to learn not to fall into the trap of criticizing/judging those who criticize.
WHENEVER I see ANYTHING or ANYONE around me that is less than perfect, I use Ho 'oponopono to heal myself. In healing myself, I also heal those people or things. Since I am but a microcosm of the whole that is around me, just like a little piece of a huge hologram, it makes sense then that if I see something that isn't right that it is a reflection of something inside me that isn't right that needs my immediate attention.

I have seen some really amazing things happen by doing this that boggle the mind.

A small example (well, huge really) is my husband, who used to take himself far too seriously,(in MY opinion ) and would have "anger meltdowns" a lot-at least once a day, and they'd last for hours. I started doing Ho 'oponopono on myself maybe a month or so ago. And guess what? The "anger meltdowns" are few and far between and if they do occur, they are very short-lived. And the coolest thing is that for the first time in the 10 years I've known him, he makes fun of himself! I couldn't believe my ears!

You can try this on anyone or anything, even politicians. Imagine what could happen if we all did this?

This video explains it:
Explanation of Ho 'oponopono

Here is a perfect example of how I like to apply Ho 'oponopono

Here is a thread on it:Ho 'oponopono with Joe Vitale



Peace and Light,
Julia

I too, had a problem reading this post even a few times. I am with Phil on this one.

I see a distinct difference between criticism for the sake of being 'critical' about everything (possible because of inner insecurities about self or the need to constantly keep someone down etc...) and constructive criticisim.

The former is my step-father who starts and ends each day criticising/complaining about e v e r y t h i n g. Always has. He is also a very insecure macho of the old school. Nothing is ever right. You name it and he has a better way to do it and yet is interested in nothing...he is mentally and emotionally stagnant - his choice. This is not criticism but observation, not only mine but others as well.

The later, as I learned it, comes from a good intent. One highlights the good points of something, but diplomatically suggests where perhaps a few improvements might be considered...expressed either as opinion or as a knowlegeable person passing on learned information. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that...on the contrary. Without it, how could we learn from another or learn a better perspective about how to do something?

We all learn either from each other or thru our connection with the Higher Self, Cosmos, Universe, God...whatever makes you comfortable.

In the case of my stepfather, yes he criticises exactly those areas (and more) that he is lacking in himself or that he never expressed/showed to others. These people, have you noticed are always, always 'takers'.

I can only tell you that if it were not for the key moments in my life where I gained thru somneone caring enough to offer me their wise 'constructive criticism' I would not have experienced the sucesses/improvements I had in a career that I enjoyed for more than 25 years. I never called it work...because it wasn't - it was my passion (now I have other ones...life keeps moving on!).

But to assume that constructive criticism is picking on someone because 'we are actually recognizing a limiting trait, our own' I find very confusing. I cannot relate to that. Perhaps the problem lies in the terminology?

quote:

(originally posted by Tosca)Perhaps the problem lies in the terminology?

I think you're right. Perhaps the term could be "helpful suggestion"? I think that the term "constructive criticism" is an oxymoron.

quote:

Originally posted by Ancient Soul:
WHENEVER I see ANYTHING or ANYONE around me that is less than perfect, I use Ho 'oponopono to heal myself.

I want to mention also, that I think there is something to the Ho 'oponopono practice that Julia (Ancient Soul) mentions. But I think my understanding of it is maybe not accurately reflecting the principles of Ho 'oponopono. Here’s how I see it (which may not be Ho 'oponopono).

In my own life experience I have noticed that I can change my experience of people by changing how I perceive or evaluate them and their behaviors (what they’ve done or not done). Then, what follows is, it seems that when I find, consider, ponder or create a more loving, kinder assessment of persons, they tend to become more loving and kinder, at least towards me.

For example, there is a woman who went to my boss at work and made a it a big deal and said I had done certain things wrong, etc., etc., which was then causing multiple problems in her dept. I then had to prove to my boss she was mistaken, which was fairly easy enough to do, but time consuming. But I got angry when I found out her reaction when she found out she was wrong was simply, “Oh.” In other words, she didn’t apologize for making a big stink, not to my boss or to me. For whatever reasons, she just acted nonchalant about it.

Now, to me, her response was blatantly inconsiderate and unkind, and I thought, “If I had wrongfully accused someone, and made a big deal out of it, and then found out I was wrong, I’d feel OBLIGED to apologize and try to make amends.” (My actual thoughts at the time were not so nicely organized. As I recall I was doing a lot of cursing and swearing,…ha, ha, ha,..)

But then, because of all I’ve studied, I thought, “Hey, wait a minute!! Am I being judgmental of her behavior? Am I making myself out to be better than her? Am I being self-righteous, as if I’m somehow superior to her, more worthy than her? And possibly, was I feeling superior to her even BEFORE this incident? And were my feelings of superiority possibly fueling (attracting) this incident?”

The answer seemed to be at least a very possible ‘yes’.

So then I did the sort-of Ho 'oponopono thing (and this was before I’d ever heard of it). I reminded myself of kinder truths or kinder possibilities regarding the incident. I thought to myself:

 She is a Child of God, as all of us are. If my views of her are less than God’s (Unconditionally Loving) then it seems I’m the one who needs to improve my view of her.
 I cannot be superior nor inferior to her, nor her to me, as each of us is unconditionally worthy of God’s infinite and unconditional love.
 If I have an inferiority or superiority attitude towards others it MUST get mirrored back to me in my experience somehow. Therefore, when something unwanted happens to me involving another, I would be wise to examine my beliefs, evaluations and perceptions first, about any involved. If I want more harmonious and happier relationships I need to heal any ideas that I have that support the notion that we can be superior or inferior to one another, or more or less deserving or worthy. In this way I can improve and attract better experiences with others going forward.
 I was thinking she was just a mean-spirited person. There may be kinder reasons to why she didn’t apologize. Maybe she felt justice was already served and it would be best to treat it as ‘water under the bridge.’ Or, maybe she felt ashamed of what she’d done and could not bring herself to apologize. Or, maybe she acted as she did out of a sense of inferiority. If this is true then, it would be better to pray for her, instead of being judgmental of her, harboring resentment or feeling superior to her.

In any case, here’s what seems to have happened: This woman is now regularly kind to me. We are occasionally involved in projects together, and we work together harmoniously. My views of her have improved and I am more often able to percieve her as a Child of God and have lovelier and kinder thoughts towards and about her.

Note: I also think, ironically, that it may actually have been ME who caused HER to act unkindly to me in the first place. How? By me harboring unkind thoughts about her. (Notice I am not saying I am responsible for HER behavior, only that I may have some responsibility for how she behaved towards ME.) Consider this.

What if I had NEVER had an unkind thought about her? What if – somehow, by some miracle or effort – I had only kind and loving thoughts of EVERYONE? Might I then NEVER attract an unwanted experience with another? Doesn’t that seem like the logical, reasonable possibility (at least for those with this degree of spiritual or metaphysical understanding)?

In other words, as Ho 'oponopono seems to suggest, maybe it’s ME that should be apologizing to HER, for harboring thoughts about her that were less than worthy, kind and loving in the first place. Maybe if I’d never had a mean thought about her in the first place, maybe she would never have gotten ‘the facts’ jumbled that then ‘forced’ her to accuse me of wrongdoing.

“You must learn to get in touch with the innermost essence of your being. This true essence is beyond the ego. It is fearless; it is free; it is immune to criticism; it does not fear any challenge. It is beneath no one, superior to no one and full of magic, mystery, and enchantment.
Access to your true essence will also give you insight into the mirror of relationship, because all relationship is a reflection of your relationship with yourself.” from The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra

“All of our relationships are a mirror of our own relationship with ourselves; thus spirituality becomes the source of loving one another as God loves us.”
Father Tom Allender S.J. - Jesuit Priest
Don Fisher, Director of Life’s Journey

“When we see men of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inward and examine ourselves.” - Confucius

Phil

quote:

(originally posted by Phil)What if I had NEVER had an unkind thought about her? What if – somehow, by some miracle or effort – I had only kind and loving thoughts of EVERYONE? Might I then NEVER attract an unwanted experience with another? Doesn’t that seem like the logical, reasonable possibility (at least for those with this degree of spiritual or metaphysical understanding)?

I'd say definitely YES. And so many things lately since practicing SOGR defy "logic" But I believe that it is through reltionships with others, in all their various phases that we grow spiritually.

quote:

In other words, as Ho 'oponopono seems to suggest, maybe it’s ME that should be apologizing to HER, for harboring thoughts about her that were less than worthy, kind and loving in the first place. Maybe if I’d never had a mean thought about her in the first place, maybe she would never have gotten ‘the facts’ jumbled that then ‘forced’ her to accuse me of wrongdoing.

My understanding of Ho 'oponopono is that we are all connected to EVERYTHING around us by The Thinking Stuff, or as Gregg Braden calls it, The Divine Matrix. Thus, each fragment of ourselves contains the whole of creation. Therefore, as we heal ourselves, we heal everything around us.
One can then conclude that if there is disharmony around us, that disharmony without is mirroring the disharmony within. So in essence, yes, it would make sense that if you never had a mean thought about her in the first place, maybe she would never have gotten ‘the facts’ jumbled that then ‘forced’ her to accuse you of wrongdoing. But her reaction , just like my husband's "meltdowns" mirroring my own anger (that I wasn't even aware of right away),were mirroring discordance in your essence. SO... all these instances that are experienced are a grand opportunity to heal ourselves;to see where clearing of ourselves is needed. Sometimes for me it's a 24 hour a day job!

For me, the important thing to also remember is NOT to JUDGE myself if I have a period of "disconnect" and lash out. It's all a learning process, and it's okay to make mistakes. I acknowledge the disconnect, apologize if appropriate without expecting anything in return, and move on.

In short, Ho 'oponopono is a practice of TRANSMUTATION. Healing oneself heals ones perceptions which in turn heals everything else, which in turn provokes much more positive behavior, even from people that may have been really mean before. It's amazing when I think of it.

Phil, it seems to me from your reply that you're RIGHT ON!

This post has been just wonderful, and Phil, your replies most thought provoking.

Thank you both!

Love and Light,
Julia

I am going to repeat this again. You are an excellent teacher Julia!

Students of SOGR who has been at it for a period of time, somehow comes to this realization that Wally makes a very very important and very BOLD statement in asking us to believe that our thoughts are mirrored in reality. He didn't say some thoughts, he didn't say as and when you like it, he didn't say only when you can understand it then you accept it. He says that EVERY thought we have is manifested into reality. It is universal law. It just is. So, to me if I truly accept what Wally says as true, it is always MY thoughts that cause any experience I have, whether I label it good or bad. So, EVERYTHING that happens to me is a result of that.

So, when I feel any sense of injustice, I pause and look at what I am thinking. Most of time I realize that it's all in my thoughts... it's nice to have someone apologise to me, but I do not need apologies from anyone who wronged me, I just BE because it is myself that looked at the other person and ASSUMED what is right and wrong according to me. I am the cause of whatever I feel and think. Wouldn't it be easier to just let go of perceived rights and wrongs and just BE rich?(of course, doing it takes A LOT of practice, as with everything worth learning).

In fact, this is something I learnt from Rebecca's many wonderful posts, that no one can offend her unless she chooses to let it be that way. After all, if we create our own reality,why let in such thoughts? that is the reason why Wally says that we are better off not focusing on the injustices in this world and inspire others by getting rich ourselves. To focus on the best is to receive the best.

Blessings

quote:

So, to me if I truly accept what Wally says as true, it is always MY thoughts that cause any experience I have, whether I label it good or bad. So, EVERYTHING that happens to me is a result of that.

I don't think it is always my thoughts that cause people/situations to be as they are.

I can relate to much of the information in this thread and have witnessed it within my own life around me in subtle and grander ways - albeit not consistantly because of my own wandering off the path. Thru SOGR, I have a deeper understanding of it.

But I can confirm that there are persons who are absolutely imprenetrable. My step-father is one. My mother and I both have conscienciously tried changing our attitudes/reactions to his insulting/hurtful/arrogant ways and I promise you, there has not been one iota of improvement (except that we are far less frustrated and happier). I am only using him as an example as I know no other.

I think there are people who have so encapsulated themselves within their own mental/emotional island, creating a self image of such supremacy (for whatever reason...to not face the reality of themselves - that they too are human and not infallible and that too is ok - or whatever other reason). Perhaps they were spoiled rotten as children, always got what they demanded. Then add to that whatever negative 'lessons' they learn along the way (everyone is out to get you, don't trust anyone, I have to control everything etc etc). I observe that these people are also fearful of any change from their routined way of life. So they stagnate. When it is the partner who evolves further in someway, this is frightening to them and the reaction is often highly problematic.

Much more can be added to the list, but I am sure you all understand my point.

Some people are as they are...and are not a result of MY or OUR thinking. We may have attracted them into our lives at one point in the first place (husband, wife etc)...but if they are blocked in themselves...and willingly so...n o t h i n g will penetrate.

These people are impenetrable because they want to be. No fluff or philosophy will get thru. They don't want to hear, nor want to notice anything good happening around them. In fact being genuinely nicer/more understanding towards them validates in their mind that how they are treating others is correct (because "see how nice everyone is to me and I get my way without resistance").

People who have never learned to give of themselves cannot appreciate receiving...they only take. Taking and receiving in my mind are huge differences. WHEN they give, it is because it is in someway beneficial to them. This is not giving in the genuine sense.

One cannot change anyone, only one's self. In changing how we think about people, this shifts how we begin to relate to them (whether this is in direct contact to them or 'from the distance'). But it is no guarantee that 'the other' will indeed respond positively.

I think those people who are for some reason non-responsive to our positive efforts, we just have to accept and move on. Because our 'positive efforts' will attract OTHERS into our lives. And that is meaningful.

What we radiate out, we attract. I understand this law. But life is full of interesting puzzles either in the form of persons or events...and that can be...unsettling at times.

Tosca,

I tend to agree with you. WE change, not necessarily the other person...and then we attract new, better experiences/people.

quote:

(originally posted by Tosca)But I can confirm that there are persons who are absolutely imprenetrable. My step-father is one. My mother and I both have conscienciously tried changing our attitudes/reactions to his insulting/hurtful/arrogant ways and I promise you, there has not been one iota of improvement (except that we are far less frustrated and happier). I am only using him as an example as I know no other.
Tosca, you and your mother feeling less frustrated and happier is a HUGE change, don't underestimate the effect that this has.
I think there are people who have so encapsulated themselves within their own mental/emotional island, creating a self image of such supremacy (for whatever reason...to not face the reality of themselves - that they too are human and not infallible and that too is ok - or whatever other reason). Perhaps they were spoiled rotten as children, always got what they demanded. Then add to that whatever negative 'lessons' they learn along the way (everyone is out to get you, don't trust anyone, I have to control everything etc etc). I observe that these people are also fearful of any change from their routined way of life. So they stagnate. When it is the partner who evolves further in someway, this is frightening to them and the reaction is often highly problematic. In my experience, these people live in total FEAR so you are quite right. But I have come to understand that they don't know any better, and are too afraid to be any other way. People like this (in my life, my father, mother AND youngest brother) have been such a blessing and opportunity, because I learned to be able to stay in a happy space no matter HOW they were acting. The thing that I did NOT want to look at is the fact that if we weren't all of the same vibration, we would not be sharing the same experiences. Well at first, THAT REALLY annoyed me, let me tell you!! NO WAy WAS I LIKE THEM! But I came to understand that the fact that their behavior triggered any kind of negative emotions on my part meant that there was the same fear on some level in ME...which needed to heal and be cleared out. And I have used EFT and Ho 'oponopono as well as meditation with great success.

quote:

)originally posted by Tosca) These people are impenetrable because they want to be. No fluff or philosophy will get thru. They don't want to hear, nor want to notice anything good happening around them. In fact being genuinely nicer/more understanding towards them validates in their mind that how they are treating others is correct (because "see how nice everyone is to me and I get my way without resistance").

People who have never learned to give of themselves cannot appreciate receiving...they only take. Taking and receiving in my mind are huge differences. WHEN they give, it is because it is in someway beneficial to them. This is not giving in the genuine sense.
I cannot force my will or my views on anyone, it only creates more resistance. Your stepfather sounds a lot like my mother (and my father, may he rest in peace). With me, I thought I needed for my mother to approve of how I thought to feel okay. She doesn't. And I am today okay with her choosing to be set in her ways. I don't try to penetrate her anymore or change her mind, because I don't need her to think like me to feel okay. I also stopped doing the same to my youngest brother. I have let it be okay for them to think any way that they want and behave any way that it suits them. (It IS good to lovingly set boundaries however. If my mother raises her voice, I tell her that she needs to stop, or I will leave or hang up the phone after I warn her first, as the case may be, but I don't get upset by it anymore.) And you know what? They (my mother and youngest brother) stopped being snotty to me-LOL!! And the last time she did raise her voice and I set a boundary, she later called back and APOLOGIZED, which was a miracle in itself! Today we have a light and pleasant relationship, which I NEVER would have expected.

Tosca,I invite you to write your stepfather's name on a piece of paper, visiualize loving light around the paper, and drop it in a jar (I have such a jar, I call it the love jar.) Repeat as necessary. And the name can't come out until the person is nice. Mine overflowed for quite a while. It's now empty.

It is also good for me to remember that it is thoughts accompanied by FEELINGS that create physical reality, not just thoughts alone.(Whew!) So for me, it is important to stay right on top of how I am feeling, and keep myself in a "happy space". And as Croz says, the $$ follows...and it IS indeed.

quote:

I am going to repeat this again. You are an excellent teacher Julia!

Thank you Kevsky, I really appreciate that

Peace and Light,
Julia

Nirakia - hello and

Julia, I too agree you are a wonderful teacher...I am embarrassed that in my last (long) reply I forgot to type what I had been thinking...about you. And I appreciate everyone's input as well...it is all mentally stimulating, thought provoking.

quote:

(Julia said) It is also good for me to remember that it is thoughts accompanied by FEELINGS that create physical reality, not just thoughts alone.(Whew!) So for me, it is important to stay right on top of how I am feeling, and keep myself in a "happy space".

Oh was THIS a timely reminder. Yes, what a relief that a thought on something is not enough to manifest it. Thank goodness for that!

And you are SOOOOO right! My sf is very much fear driven...you identified it exactly. He is in fear of everything and daily one hears his constant warnings about 'watch out....blahblahblah' or that he almost 'killed himself' or that normal harmless things are potentially dangerous. I won't bother here with examples...they are too silly.

Me, I am a rather lionhearted, fearless person...rather much the amazon of the family. Fortunately in my youth, I only had 7 years of physical living with him (age 10 to 17). But since they moved here to me in Spain into the house I bought for my mother across the street from me 10 years ago, obviously there is daily exposure to him and I witness the toll on my mother. Now he is quite old, more bitter, more fearful...more afraid to die and certainly afraid to live we say.

My mother is not so isolated now, being here with me to emotionally support her and she is much more thinking of her needs now...and dealing better with the consequences from him.

Julia, I will re-read your input several times and thank you for your glass jar suggestion...which will take effort on my part. After the last tirade of vulgar insults towards me about 2 years ago, I(we) just ignore his(my) presence...as if he was already 'gone'. Much more harmonious this way.

Very, very interesting reading about your family experiences Julia...thank you for sharing. It is encouraging. The glass jar trick will be easier in regards to my husband...because I do care for him (umm, is it one jar for whomever or one jar per person??).

green blessings,

quote:

Me, I am a rather lionhearted, fearless person...rather much the amazon of the family.

Hey tosca yes it's been enjoyable discussing these things and I enjoyed that self description above,so cool

Everyday waking up is a miracle in itself. Every moment when I get to do all the things I love, it's a great blessing. Miracles are every where if we care to look; in the sun rise, the morning breeze, the sounds of nature stirring to a bright new morning....to the people I meet, it's all a miracle.Whenever thoughts that feel unpleasant arises, I practice moving them out of the way and think of good things..it brings to mind a song I find quite moving, the theme song from the Prince of Egypt animated movie. "There can be miracles when you believe..."

keep believing...and there is this saying that in the seed of every adversity lies an equal or greater seed of opportunity..

Blessings

Kevsky said:

quote:

Whenever thoughts that feel unpleasant arises, I practice moving them out of the way and think of good things..it brings to mind a song I find quite moving, the theme song from the Prince of Egypt animated movie. "There can be miracles when you believe..."

keep believing...and there is this saying that in the seed of every adversity lies an equal or greater seed of opportunity..

So true and these too are wonderful reminders and tips. I especially like the reference to that, yes, very moving song.

This has been an especially meaningful thread for me...always interesting to learn how various people deal with common issues. Thank you all!

quote:

(originally posted by Tosca)Julia...thank you for sharing. It is encouraging. The glass jar trick will be easier in regards to my husband...because I do care for him (umm, is it one jar for whomever or one jar per person??).

One jar fits all-LOL And mine was just FILLED with the nastiest people-hehehe.

This jar (click on this picture to enlarge) is a reproduction from 1480, Faenza, italy, and is about 8 inches tall.

Well, I've been following and reading this thread and although I find some of the posts rather unwieldy to read, I thought I'd throw in my thoughts on attraction and criticism and attraction.

One thing I have noticed is that if I think positive thoughts about my relations with others, even if the others have a bad day and are nasty to me, they usually come around.

I've experienced this more than once, where I have turned around a potentially negative relationship/interaction just be deciding to be forgiving and positive.

As for criticism of others being a reflection of those parts of self that I reject, I agree.

As for the idea that criticism of politicians and unfair situations is a different nature of criticism, I agree.

One is a personal criticism whereas the other is political and they are quite different and both have a large impact on how we live our lives. The political situation can have quite an impact on our emotional state and feelings of self worth and empowerment, while that in turn can have a profound impact on our day to day living situation.

Political and sociological criticism are necessary; personal criticism can be done by each individual for themselves.

Yes, when we see something we don't like in someone else, it is a good opportunity to address those issues in or own psyche.

Thanks Julie for clearing this about the jar. Yes, I think one size fits all is a good idea. I saw this jar on your site...so lovely. It reminded me of bargello