I note in a few relationships around me, be they my mother's/stepfather's or people we casually know that sometimes one partner is positive and the other negative, the one believes the other doubts, one tries so hard to realize a better 'now' and the other remains mired in their own complaints and negative view on life. I am thinking of Clairetta here as well.

I started this thread because I am wondering what your views are on this dilema. How can/does the LOA positively work in regards to the desires of partner A for a mutual better future when the partner B may be negating, attracting the opposite and hence sabotaging partner A's SOGR efforts?

It would seem to me that in a partnership, both partners have to rather much have the same attitude and desires to attract it.

When partner A's CMI is only about a personal goal, one can choose to ignore the negativeness regarding it from the partner B. But when the CMI is ie. a mutual new home, more income, financial security (and it is the negative one who works)...how would SOGR work in this situation?

When both are opposing, it is like two horses attached with a rope, pulling in opposite directions - a lot of wasted energy, frustration and eventually a broken rope. There is an allegory in that.

What are your thoughts?

I don't know. Maybe, at some point, we rub off on them?

I like your analogy about the horses pulling the ropes, from opposite directions, until it finally breaks.

While I'm not fond of the cold, Christmas is right around the corner. The season always cheers me up and reminds of all I have to be thankful for.

(I just came from the Better to Bless prayer site.)

Tosca, you have described my ex marriage perfectly. The rope broke. It left me exhausted, confused with a lot of self doubt,and with a lot to learn about myself. It is long over but I am only now regaining a sense of self value and strength.
The questions of why would you get into such a situation are also valid...unconsciously replaying family of origin issues etc. I am sure that this often happens because it is just more comfortable to retain old patterns and indeed for the majority they don't even think about it.

It took me years to understand that while we seemed to be working together in fact we weren't. I just thought I was getting things wrong. I realise now that this is not true, as much of how I was going about it has been reaffirmed by SOGR and other similar works. I'm not blaming him for being as he was, just that I didn't have enough of a sense of myself and love for myself to see through what was happening.
This was true of both mutual things and my own personal goals. His fear levels and lack of self love led him to extreme negativity and sabotage in many instances. And also of his own desires and goals. And the kids too for that matter.

To have both partners consciously and deliberately working together would be the ideal situation and one I would be intending for any future relationship. I don't think it is necessary to always agree as differences add a lot to a relationship, but this is very different to what was happening for us.


I don't know that it matters who 'works' per se, more the intentions behind what is going on. I know that doesn't exactly answer your questions but it was my experience. I found it very difficult to stay positive and continue, I believed that with love and support things would be ok, but they never where. With the useless perspective of hindsight I would have said to bail out much earlier :-)

Hmmm------

My wife and I do not think alike, I am a believer in SOGR and the law of attraction, she is not! In other posts I have told of the improvement in the increase in profitability of our business and the profitable sale of that business! That happened when I stopped fighting with her about our business.

I believe that it is easier to succeed if both partners have the same thinking about SOGR, but no one is going to have the same thinking about everything! My wife and I have been married for 45 years and we have many things that we enjoy doing together! We have 2 fantastic children and 4 grandchildren together as well as a lot of good friends. In addition to SOGR there are other things that we disagree about! I am a vegan and she is not. I enjoy being outdoors, getting to the tops of mountains and to the bottom of canyons, she does not. We need our marriage to continue because of the things that we have in common, but we also are learning to respect each others differences. I am making sure that I have the time to do the things that are important to me as well as making sure that she does the things that are important to her!

These are things that I learned through SOGR but I discovered that I still had a resentment toward my wife through the SOBW Intensive course of Alexandra Gayek! I felt deep down that our business could have done so much more if she were in agreement with me about SOGR. I have learned to stop playing the Victim, Prosecuter, Rescurer game - and it feels great!

I am going to have another business - it will be my business, my wife is totally happy to be retired! It will be a fantastically sucessful business - inspiration is coming to me daily! Soon I will be taking inspired action!!!!!



I am totally responsible for my health, my emotions and my prosperity! No one else has that responsibility!

Thank you for raising this (again) in the forums.

Tom, especially thank you for your post. It certainly resonates with my situation, though we are a generation younger - two school age children.

I too found that when I got over my thoughts about how her fears and doubts , and lack of "buy-in" to the process held us back things moved forwards.

Fortunately we do ultimately want the same thing in terms of house, location, lifestyle etc. I am working with purpose and faith to achieve it.

The last year has seen a great deal of progress such that my wife is more accepting of how and why and what I do.

This next year will see more accelerated progress and I am excited and grateful for it all.

In the meantime I carry on and do and show that it works.

Greetings Tosca,
Great topic! I have found, just like Tom Strong mentioned, that my prosperity and happiness have nothing to do with my husband.

My experience with spiritual growth and a partner has been this:

A.One heals, the other heals also.
B.One heals, the other chooses not to and separation occurs.
C.Neither partner heals and the situation stays the same.

I have experienced all three situations.

The only requirements I have in a partnership today is first that my partner be clean (drug free) and sober, because as an ex-addict, it would jeopardize my own sobriety to have anyone close to me who uses. The other is that I expect monogamy.

My husband is going through his own emotional hell, and has been through his own physical hell recently with throat cancer. But I realize that his hell is his own, and he actually has a right to it, it is his choice. I have learned not to force my will on him to "make him better". All I can do is be a power of example to him and DO WELL MYSELF and be happy,(like Wally says "get rich and INSPIRE others to do the same") which is exactly what I do on a daily basis to the best of my ability. He is not in a space where he is able to be emotionally supportive at all, so I cultivate support through other friends and associates and through various spiritual practices such as prayer and meditation. I do not expect anything from him, and I think that because of this, he does many thoughtful things for me, and is really a very sweet man. (I did take the vow of "for better or for worse" very seriously. ) So you see, because I do not resist his resistance, there's no pulling,no broken rope and there is harmony. But the harmony is within ME.

I believe that relationships with others are our best teacher in this Life Experience;it is how we as Human Beings advance spiritually. "It's ALL GOOD" as Kate Nowak says. My husband has taught me a great deal about taking 100% responsibility for myself, physicaly, emotionally, and spiritually in light of his past illness and inability at this time to be emotionally available or physically or emotionally able to work a regular job.

Love and Light,
Julia

I was delighted to log in this morning and find so many responses...and I hope more readers will contribute as it seems to be a subject that has particular meaning for several forum members.

Every one of you is adding bits of wisdom to this that I am enjoying, everbody has a jewel/s to share.

I am fortunate in that my current husband (and the one who passed away) is neither particularily negative nor positive.

Fortunately, he is open to various topics I may find meaningful and share with him. But I grew up in an environment of negative thoughts about life and worked on releasing myself from them years later as an adult. I've never really attracted 'deep moaners' in any close relationship (there were enough 'other' problems ).

(I had done a search on the forum as best I could on the subject but couldn't really fine tune it enough to find past threads on this...I was hoping to pass on the links. So - sorry if I have started a thread that has already been brought up.

Really great thread, I have soaked up what everyone has said here and really appreciate it. A couple of things I have noticed or become aware of in my relationships is that even if I have an opposing view, as long as I am not tugging on the rein of the other horse, trying to get them to go my way, there is no struggle, just acceptance. When I feel tired and frustrated it is usally because I am trying to get them to "see" it my way or "do" it my way. Then I get to ask myself why do I need them to do/see it my way? Fear? I am also learning I have drawn all these people into my life by my thinking, my vibration, as they have me. I am learning to look and see what part of me they are, what do they reflect about me or what am I to learn from them or from our relationship. I am learning to be grateful for all my relationships for they are my teachers, even the ones that seem so uncomfortable, or especially the ones that are so uncomfortable. I have also found the more I visualize my life as I desire and intend it, which is peaceful, both with myself and with others, the more I draw that peacefullness into my life, just as when I am upset with myself, that seems to draw upset in other areas of life as well. So our whole beingness obviously affects all aspects of our lives and so all of life is a reflection and a lesson. Thanks for all the wonderful post, there is so much wisdom here.

This is such a great thread. And there is so little to add to what has already been said. In my own life I know it has been easier to think someone else is the problem at times. But as has been mentioned - if everyone is a reflection of me - then surely if I simply focus on me things must change.

And sure enough often the quality of the relationship improves or I stop noticing the so called 'bad behaviours' I previously didn't like.

Have you ever had someone tell you about a negative experience of a mutual friend. And you find yourself saying or thinking 'Hmmm...that person never does that to me'

Why? Because that person responds to your beliefs and vibration.

And so do you and I. There are some people where I find it so easy to be my best self with. And others where I need to put effort to manage my behaviour.

It is my different belief systems meeting other people's belief systems. And if I have a strong negative belief system that meets a negative belief system of someone else - wala - before you know it - both of us are behaving out of fear.

If I didn't have the negative belief system - I wouldn't attract it in some one else.

quote:

partner B may be negating, attracting the opposite and hence sabotaging partner A's SOGR efforts?

Remember no one can create in another's experience, there is no sabotage unless you allow it.

I believe in SOGR but my partner knows nothing of it not even the title of the book. I've never discussed it with him nor will I ever unless he starts the conversation.

Example;

One day I was watching the movie 'The Secret' he just stopped and started watching standing in the doorway, then he moved in and sat down and watched the rest. He never talked with me about it in any form but I do notice his belief in the postive outcomes has changed. Before, he was so doom and gloom about everyone and things, I notice less and less all the time from him, but I do not point it out I just ACCEPT him for him and he accepts me for me.

Hi knowledgeable people

I thank you to please tell me what LOA is? It was before SOGR laugh out loud and local oveseas alowance when I was in the British Army. I apologise for my English not being good enough to know this and thank you for your patience.

Smile all the while and this smile will travel
miles and miles! Tribs4u2

quote:

I thank you to please tell me what LOA is?

Law Of Attraction! What ever we think about, good or bad is attracted to us!

I just wish to thank each one of you for your jewels...I am certain many more are benefited by your responses than are commenting here!

Blessings to all of you!

THANK YOU everyone for the wonderful topic and responses on this thread!

It has really helped me to realize a great many things about what has happened in my "up until now".

Thankfully, I am with a wonderful, like minded and like desiring person.. but seeing here that I have to let go of any resistance when we have different roads in mind to the same destinations. I can't tell you how MUCH this HELPED me FEEL BETTER and actually "get it"!

Woo Hoo I am GREATFULL!



Jani