I recently quit my job of 11 years where I felt unappreciated and undervalued. It is not a family owned business, but I do have family that works there. I wanted to continue to work in the same industry, aerospace, and with the same software if possible. I started asking contacts and what is pretty much a dream job was dropped in my lap. I am pleased as punch and really pumped up!

I learned that the job I thought I found by myself, may have had some assistance in turning up, from my family working at the old company.

I was really proud of the fact I jumped ship and went looking for something more inspiring. So know I feel like I haven't done it on my own and feel deflated.

I KNOW this is wrong thinking and I am reaffirming my thankfulness for this wonderful opportunity.

Any one else have this automatic negative experience?

OK, wait a minute. You're "deflated" because the DREAM JOB you want showed up?

Sounds like the only "negative" experience you're having is in your own head. That's a choice. Why are you calling it "automatic?"

You have family who care enough about you that they MAY have put in a good word for you. But you don't know if they did or not, so you're just -- for now anyway -- making up a story and using it to make yourself feel bad.

And, you know, if you REALLY feel let down because you may have gotten help in getting your dream job, you can always turn down the job and start over!

But what's the big deal about doing it on your own anyway? Why would you need to tell the Universe/Formless/God HOW to deliver your good to you?

(It also seems to be the case in the US that most people who get really good jobs do so through "connections.")

Maybe I'm missing something here, because I find this pretty confusing.

How about, in addition to being grateful for a wonderful opportunity, being grateful for some wonderful family members? Because whether any of them actually did anything or not, you suspect they did, which means they must be pretty darned good to you in general.

Congratulations on that! (And the job, too.)

Hello Joe,

Welcome to the forum and congrats on finding your dream job!

Looks like somewhere in the past, someone sold you on the lie that "it ain't worth it unless you do it all by yourself".
I guess I was sold on the lie, "you better do it all by yourself because you cannot trust anyone and only the weak ask for help".

You are smart, you work in aerospace, so I am sure you can see the similarities in these two statements. And they are just beliefs, just thoughts, nothing more.

Some time later, I became part of a group. Guess "I am not a group person" is another one of those beliefs that are not true. (I just found that out now that I am writing this post so thank you for helping me to learn that about myself). Many people in this group, offered me their help. They did it because they wanted to help me. Nobody gave me the idea that I was weak or stupid. And nobody was keeping records like how I could pay them back for their gifts.

Another mystery of the universe. Why is helping someone else so much fun to do? I do enjoy helping other people and yes, I do not care one iota whether they will pay me back in any way, shape or form.

Joe, you did it on your own. You took the initiative of opening your eyes and ears to other opportunities. You spoke to your contacts. In Wally's terms, you informed the Formless that you were ready and willing to receive, and so you did.

Congrats on attracting that dream job

God bless you,

Caroline
My Gift To You: 50,000 Guaranteed Visitors To Your Site

Hi Joe,

Good for you that you jumped ship and got a dream job and good for you that you caught your negative feelings and thoughts and had the smarts to post it here.

That's what it's all about - and there is no shame getting help from this forum either.

So pleased with you news.
cheers
Pauline