Most of us are focused on what is less important, instead of what is more important. And then we wonder why we’re not happy with whatever we’ve got.

Focus on what really matters.

“What’s that,” you might ask.

Well, for starters, how you FEEL really matters.

But then, don’t you, like most of us, focus more on what you want to get or have? Or, you focus on what you don’t have.

Either way, you don’t focus on what is more important.

What’s more important, what you have or don’t have, or how you feel?

But then you might say, “I can’t focus on how I feel, because I don’t feel good because I don’t have what I want.”

Oh really? So, you’re saying that how you feel depends on what you have, or think you can have.

Is that true? Do your material conditions determine how you feel?

Something to think about.

Phil

Hi Phil

I completely agree with what you are saying. The two most common emotions experienced with regard to debt are also the two most destructive to our wellbeing. These are shame and embarrasment. It's these that have to go. Once you don't feel ashamed that you owe money it becomes a breeze to deal with. Most people's creditors are corporations, and they don't hold a personal feeling about the people who owe them money. You should just think of the debt in terms of an unsuccessful venture - something to learn from, not be ashamed of.

Speaklife,

One more thought about the debt you’re in.

Virtually nothing we go through is inherently hard or easy. What makes things hard or easy is the emotion we attach to it, and this emotion or feeling can change, and it happens easily when we change how we think about something.

For example, many kids or teenagers have a hard time washing dishes or cleaning up their room. For them it’s drudgery and hardship. “Oh God,” they might say. “Mom is trying to kill me again. She’s making me clean up my room.” This is because they don’t have a way of thinking about these activities that makes them feel good about it.

But, for people who appreciate order and things cleaned up the activity is meaningful and even enjoyable to engage in. This is because the person inherently knows the activity supports their values. They inherently know they are engaged in some activity that fits their values.

But even when we want to do some activity (like exercising to get in shape and to be healthier) we often have to overcome out thought patterns that make the activity hard. But when we do, the activity becomes enjoyable and one we look forward to and enjoy. (I now love to exercise, only because I’ve designed thoughts about it to easily allow me to enjoy it.)

Being in debt is not inherently a hard thing. The thing that makes it hard to experience and go through is only in your thoughts, how you think about it, and how you relate to it (which is also how you think about it). Improve your thoughts about it, and it becomes easier. You can even make it a ‘breeze’, if you uplift your thoughts about it enough.

We experience things as hard or easy according to how we think about them.

“Things will constantly change to match the feeling you have inside." Abraham-Hicks

Phil

quote:

Originally posted by SpeakLife:

I desire strongly to live the SOGR life, so how do I get rid of these bad feelings.

I think the first step is to realize that YOU are NOT your debt. You are a deserving child of the universe that happens to owe some money. So often we attach negative emotions to debt and then internalize them to the point that we let those emotions define who we are.

Secondly, I think the issue becomes one's internal view of money. So many people see money coming in from work, investments, or some other channel and say to it "You're not enough" Then look at their debt and say to it "You're too much" which triggers feelings of lack they may have been holding onto for years (since childhood, even) which fires off an internal belief of "I am not worthy" etc.

There are practical ways to approach debt which some have pointed out already. My suggestion is to step back and stop defining WHO YOU ARE based on debt.

Michael

Thanks for that Phil. You always add something worthwhile.

Dear Speaklife,

I feel for you as I am going through the same thing with debts. I feel very ashamed that I owe all this money. It is hard when people ring up and recently I had court papers served on me for a debt. That was frightening. I am trying to stick to doing what I can each day as Mr Wattles says, and facing the truth. Recently I went to the court and found I could offer to pay the debt off in instalments. The staff were really nice and helpful. They said people do this all the time and it was good I came in early rather than avoiding it and leaving things to the last minute, which many people do and this is more stressful and more expensive.

I think intention is important. If you show that you have a plan and are trying to pay or if you ring whoever loaned you the money rather than let them find you then it goes better. And you know, then lots of bonuses turn up. I have had so many invitations to dinners since I started dealing with my finances properly and I made sure I didn't tell everyone I am broke so it isn't that. I'm also getting a lot of extra shifts at my work which is so helpful.

It is hard to feel good in this sort of situation, but it seems to help a lot to list the things you have for free: sunshine, friends, trees etc, and also I thank the universe for what I was able to do with the money loaned to me in the past, like travel etc.

And I guess too that you will have an understanding for others suffering financially in the future and bring a lot of comfort and useful suggestions to them since you know exactly how it feels.

Wishing you many wonderful blessings.

quote:

Originally posted by SpeakLife:
How does one get past the bad feelings when you are giving it your all to pay your debts because you know that they are for services that you've already used.

I desire strongly to live the SOGR life, so how do I get rid of these bad feelings.

You can experience a miraculous kind of awakening. It will come about when you somehow realize that your circumstances don’t determine how you feel. The collection calls and the debt papers are not determining how you are feeling.

Believe it or not, it’s possible to deal with your debts responsibly and also experience an inner state of peace and a profound and healthy state of self appreciation.

Do you know, or can you at least accept the possibility that it’s ok for you to like yourself, even when you don’t know how you’re going to manage your debt?

Phil

One more thought you might want to consider:

"In your moving yourself up the Emotional Scale, your business will begin to prosper in new and profound ways! Your business, your relationships, your finances cannot grow beyond your emotional response; nothing can grow beyond your emotional response. Everything matches your Set-point of emotions on every subject that exists." - Abraham-Hicks -

quote:

Originally posted by Phil:

Well, for starters, how you FEEL really matters.

Phil

Thanks, Phil... just that phrase is something to think about.

How often have we made feelings unimportant or secondary when they actually fuel the whole machine?

SpiritA*

So, Phil what are you saying. I want to get past the bad feelings about not having the money I need to make the ends meet. And I do real good until the collection call comes or the debt papers from the court or letters in mail. How does one get past the bad feelings when you are giving it your all to pay your debts because you know that they are for services that you've already used.

I desire strongly to live the SOGR life, so how do I get rid of these bad feelings.

Phil, this is SO true! And since I keep focusing on the good stuff/feeling good NO MATTER WHAT, good stuff keeps happening much more often to match feeling good.
Check out my post today in Happy News.

Thanks for posting this,

Love and Light
Julia