I want to share something that I just noticed.

Years ago, as I started to really get into the teachings of prosperity, one of the key lessons I was being taught is, you attract the kinds of persons that are a reflection of you. So, if you don’t like your relationships, you need only change yourself, and your relationships will change and become harmonious, or you'll move on to more harmonious relationships.

Well, years ago I recall working for a woman who, though she was quite adequate and competent, her ‘way’ of getting people to do their jobs well was to remind them of the fact that if you don’t do your job well, you could get fired. Though it’s true, it wasn’t a pleasant thought to constantly be reminded of, and not a pleasant atmosphere to be working in.

Now, fast forward to my current situation. I now work for bosses who are mostly pleasant, and although I’m sure the ‘fact’ remains that if I didn’t do my work well I would be let go, the way they go about getting us to do work well is by being pleasant, by asking, by saying things like, “I need a little favor.” And also, when I go to them for their input or expertise, they act pleasantly. In fact, one of my bosses routinely plays and says, “Whoopee!!” and makes like it’s the best thing in the world, when she knows I’ve got an issue to bring to her that needs her attention. When I mentioned this to her, she intimated her philosophy that, if you have something you need to do, you might as well figure out how to enjoy it. (My sentiments exactly.)

Needless to say, it’s a very pleasant work atmosphere.

It seems to me, and I don’t mean to sound like I’m bragging (because I know I still have much room to grow) but it seems to me this is an indication that I've improved some over time, and, it appears to be evidence (at least for me, that) the better YOU get, the better THINGS get,… easily, effortlessly and harmoniously.

And, the less you make things bother you, and the MORE you find things to be pleased and appreciative about, the better things seem to just get. Or simply,… the better we get, the better things get

“Through relationships we learn about ourselves, because people around us reflect back to us what we are. That is why many relationships are hard. If your relationships cause you to struggle, ask yourself why. What opinion do you hold about the relationship or yourself that prevents it from going the way you want? What are you trying to push against?” from ‘Life Was Never Meant To Be A Struggle’ by Stuart Wilde

“When we see men of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inward and examine ourselves.” - Confucius

"Any situation that you find yourself in is an outward reflection of your inner state of beingness." -- El Morya – Ascended Master

And then, there’s Rebecca’s promise:

“Tending to your own thoughts and feelings and letting yourself become the perfect match to your desires brings you joy and peace. And I promise you that your own joy and peace are the keys to everything -- EVERYTHING -- you want, for yourself and others.” - Rebecca Fine

Phil

quote:

the better YOU get, the better THINGS get,… easily, effortlessly and harmoniously.

And, the less you make things bother you, and the MORE you find things to be pleased and appreciative about, the better things seem to just get. Or simply,… the better we get, the better things get

Phil

Really like this posting Phil, for me, it is so fundamentally TSOGR.

It's about 'being the person you want to be', once you are the person you want to be, the rest just falls into place.
Once you are the person you want to be, the trouble's or more importantly the negative feelings we get daily, will gradually with practise, patience and understanding, and application of gratitude, become like water off a ducks back.

In becoming the person we want to be, and presumeably, we all want to be joyous, happy, rich, wealthy, healthy and have loving relationships and no doubt many other of the wonders of life available to us, from nature and the universe.

And once we truely become the person we want to be, well, as Rebecca says.

quote:

Tending to your own thoughts and feelings and letting yourself become the perfect match to your desires brings you joy and peace. And I promise you that your own joy and peace are the keys to everything -- EVERYTHING -- you want, for yourself and others.” - Rebecca Fine

So, as the title of this post accurately puts it, "You attract how you are".

Blessings
Anaru

quote:

Originally posted by Phil:


the better YOU get, the better THINGS get,… easily, effortlessly and harmoniously.

And, the less you make things bother you, and the MORE you find things to be pleased and appreciative about, the better things seem to just get. Or simply,… the better we get, the better things get

So very true. I am so glad that at some point I realized I could not change anyone else until I changed myself. And once myself was changed, most of the time, I feel no need or reason or responsibility to change. But I often do wish I could help people understand. My father lives by the maxim "if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong." And since he believes it so strongly, it is manifest in his life in an amazing way, repeatedly.

quote:

“Through relationships we learn about ourselves, because people around us reflect back to us what we are.

Yes, and I think they can also give us opportunities to learn lessons and move on, or let go of what we don't want. Up till now, I thought any family relationship was worth having for the sake of family. After I blessed my uncle last week, and then heard more of the same of his thought and condition from others, I realized I am content to let the relationship go. I would be content to welcome it back if opportunity arises, but I am content either way. And I do bless him to his own end however that plays out.

And then, there’s Rebecca’s promise:

quote:

“Tending to your own thoughts and feelings and letting yourself become the perfect match to your desires brings you joy and peace. And I promise you that your own joy and peace are the keys to everything -- EVERYTHING -- you want, for yourself and others.” - Rebecca Fine

I really do prefer joy and peace.

Thanks Phil.

quote:

I often do wish I could help people understand.

I know that feeling. I resolve it with this thought from A-H:

"The best thing you could do for anyone that you love is be happy!" Abraham-Hicks

Phil

Here's another thought on relationships.

What if everyone in your life was there solely for your benefit? Each person is there to teach you something, to help you in some way, or because you attracted him or her? You have the choice, each day to find the gift in each relationship, or to simply say "no thank you" to any experience or person you don't want in your life.

There's also the strategy that I use on my kids, but I sometimes forget to use on others:

I "see" them for what I want them to be. I see how much I love them and how wonderful they are. I hardly ever notice or dwell on what I don't like, but appreciate and praise what I do like. I try to enjoy them without judgment or criticism.

This actually works great for anyone -- friends, family, co-workers, neighbors,animals, whatever.

And of course, you always have the choice to not have that person in your life. It's up to you!

Love and blessings,
Rachel

I agree Phil, Abraham-Hicks says something along the lines, your current circumstances are simply a snap shot of your dominant vibrations at this time. Change the vibration and you change the circumstance.

I work with a lot of very nice people myself. As a matter of fact the two person with who used to drive me nuts are rarely scheduled with me anymore. Are you saying I could be responsible for this relationship ease? Cool.

Though I must have been a beast when I met hubby. I seemed so happy and sweet and innocent and smart, but I guess I coudn't have been if he is my reflection. It is sad because I liked myself back then, even more than now, and was so full of hope.

Also I would never approach my neighbors or co workers with conversation or ask for help, and they all come to me with all kinds of chit chat and help requests. I do wonder how I attract that much personal info and extra work, when I never volunteer anything to them. In some cases, I do think we attract our complements.

quote:

Originally posted by Rachel:
Here's another thought on relationships.

I "see" them for what I want them to be. I see how much I love them and how wonderful they are. I hardly ever notice or dwell on what I don't like, but appreciate and praise what I do like. I try to enjoy them without judgment or criticism.

This actually works great for anyone -- friends, family, co-workers, neighbors,animals, whatever.
Rachel

Good point Rachel. You know that thing you say about your kids coming "that way" and you just tried not to break them? I think if we can remember that everyone comes that way, but perhaps along the way, they have had experiences that may have "broken them", we might be more compassionate at times.

I love the verse in Samuel that says that man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart. I try to remember to look on the heart. I think when we do, it allows for that greatness in each person to come through. And if they choose not to, then we can move on and let them move on too.

That's a nice idea, Dawn.
If we can appreciate and enjoy what we like and ignore or avoid the rest we're doing pretty well, I think. Also, if we acknowledge that everyone in our life is there because we brought them there, then we can search for the benefit, or just "move on." Just what you said!

@Annie
I think in your case you attract what you are afraid of -- what you dread. The fact that you attracted a husband who is "a beast" doesn't mean you were like that, only that you attracted him through your thoughts and feelings in some way. Perhaps, like a friend of mine, you liked the idea of being taken care of, and in exchange you gave up your self will and personal freedom. In her case, she continually chooses to let others control her life and continually complains that she has no freedom!

It just occurred to me that freedom must be "exercised" as in "practiced" in order to be strong. So maybe you could exercise your freedom in small things until you are strong enough to take control of the big things, too.

Just a thought.

Love and blessings,
Rachel

quote:

I think in your case you attract what you are afraid of -- what you dread. The fact that you attracted a husband who is "a beast" doesn't mean you were like that, only that you attracted him through your thoughts and feelings in some way.

Hi Rachel,

You know, this is a point I haven't yet fathomed. We are told we attract partners just like us because like attracts like. Then we are told that opposites attract. Then there is the view that anything that bothers you about another person is something you have yourself and that is why it bothers you.

I tend to think, though I am by no means an expert in this, that I see something as love even if it doesn't always look that way to someone else because it is what I grew up with and that is the template I have (and can work on).

I agree, if you attract a 'beast' or more to the point are attracted to them, it doesn't mean you are one too.

cheers
Pauline

Sharma said:

quote:

I agree, if you attract a 'beast' or more to the point are attracted to them, it doesn't mean you are one too.

True. But what it can mean is that you have the same rage and anger, albeit expressed in a different way. I used to attract men that I thought would take care of me. They were abusive. In so doing, I gave up a lot because I tried to "keep them happy" lest they leave. And the more I tried to "keep them happy" (I was just as controlling as they were, see?)the nastier they became and the angrier I became, because I blamed them for failing to make me happy and rather than compliment me as they did in the beginning, became critical of me despite all my best efforts. My anger turned inward into depression-theirs came out into abusive behavior...two sides of the same coin. Looking back now, I can see that their criticism of me MIRRORED my criticism of them. Their controlling behavior mirrored mine. I was as disappointed as they were!
My self-esteem depended totally on their behavior towards me-I was completely co-dependent.

I had no idea that happiness was an inside job, and that my feelings had NOTHING to do with their behavior, but rather with the way I perceived others and life in general. It was my THINKING that had to change in order to make ME happy, all by myself.

quote:

Originally posted by annievt:
I work I must have been a beast when I met hubby. I seemed so happy and sweet and innocent and smart, but I guess I coudn't have been if he is my reflection. It is sad because I liked myself back then, even more than now, and was so full of hope.

Let me preface this with saying: I may be MILES off course with this.

It seems to me, many of us had to try and figure out life, as we were growing up. We weren’t given clear, wise, adequate guidance. If you’re like me, you probably picked up a lot of the wrong ideas. And you may have “innocently” picked up the wrong beliefs. (Thus, you were innocent.)

For example, it seems to me I picked up early the idea that ‘manipulating others and getting them to do what you want is a perfectly good thing to do.’ Or, ‘we get what we want by manipulating others, and this is a perfectly acceptable, good and ok thing to do.’

I bring this up because you said you were “sweet and innocent.” I believe I was also innocent, but I somehow learned to be manipulative. So, I innocently became manipulative. But being manipulative would often backfire on me.

For example, there was the time I called one of my brothers because I had car trouble, and got him to come over and help me. (Manipulation) But when he came over he was visibly angry and complaining; so much so that I just told him to forget it, and that I’d handle it another way.

But now, as I reflect back, I often would try to handle my problems like this. In fact, it seems it was one of my ‘world views’ or beliefs about life: The way to fix a problem is get someone else to fix it. The way to get money is get it from others (regardless of whether they suffer).

I would often try to get others to fix my problems. Why? Because I had somehow picked up the idea (belief) that this was an acceptable or good way to handle problems. It seems to me I picked up this idea **innocently** in that I didn’t do it because I wanted to hurt anyone, or even take advantage of them. I somehow just simply learned that “this was the way people do things.”

Now, as I write this, I can recall I had mainly manipulative friends. Well, it makes sense to me now that I understand Universal Principles better (Law of Attraction, Like Begets Like). In fact, I remember one of my friends who delighted in telling me how he had bilked someone (got him to loan him money that he never intended to pay back). At the time, I thought this was awful and he was a really bad person. But now I see it differently. I see it as wrong but I believe my friend did it innocently. In other words, I believe he thought it was perfectly ok to cheat people, as long as you can get away with it. Of course he would be delighted. He thought he was doing what he was supposed to be doing. (Yes, it’s crazy, but can you see the illogical logic of it?)

So, what I’m saying is, I think you WERE and are innocent, but being innocent does not preclude us from suffering if what we believe causes us to engage in relationships that will harm us and/or others.

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse."

Phil