Why do so many have such a hard time with this? Mastering your life requires you to re-examine how you are using the powers of your mind and body, especially your thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Why is this so difficult?

I believe the difficulty comes because we are not trained to see the connection of something as intangible as our thoughts, beliefs and feelings with whatever occurs in our lives. For whatever reasons, we seem to only grasp connections easily if they are on a physical level.

For example, if you have ever touched a hot stove and felt the burning sensation, you probably learned very quickly and very well to do whatever you could to avoid this experience again. You immediately learned and experienced a Cause-Effect, Action-Consequence connection that resulted in your pain. And you probably learned VERY QUICKLY to alter your future behavior.

But with thoughts, beliefs and feelings, the ‘learning curb’ is often not so quick and apparent. For example, we don’t experience all the painful consequences of, say, a lifetime of self doubting or less than kind or wise thinking. We don’t realize the connection between these kinds of thoughts and, possibly, our inability to secure a better job or position, or to ask for a date with someone we are attracted to. We don’t realize that we have been unwittingly – with every inferior thought and feeling – connecting ourselves to failing ourselves in certain situations. In each moment we accepted a less than worthy thought about ourselves, we often did so unwittingly and agreeably, instead of vigorously reacting to them, as we might have, had we touched a hot stove.

Yet, the impact is really the same.

Entertaining a poor thought is just as dangerous to your well being as is touching a hot stove. The only difference is the time it takes you to realize the consequence of each.

Thinking is an action. So is feeling, because your feelings come from what you have allowed or chosen to think and believe. Just because you can not physically see or touch a thought does not mean it does not carry great weight and great consequences. Thinking is an action, and all actions have consequences.

If you want better results, carefully consider how you are thinking. Ask yourself, “What are the probable consequences of the thoughts, beliefs and feelings I am having?”

Remember this: As you work and change and improve your ways of thinking, your beliefs and feelings will improve. (They must, because they are inextricably linked.) (And as your thinking, beliefs and feelings improve, so must your choices and actions, since these also follow inextricably from what you think, believe and feel.)

And, as your thinking and feelings improve, you may find yourself more able to do as SOGR suggests here:

“In the mental realm, enter at once into full enjoyment of the things you want.”

Phil

Everyone's post here are "keepers." I read this particular thread at least once a day. Fuel for the soul.

Gopi, I love the analogy you gave of brushing your teeth. Such a simple example but carries a powerful message! Don't you agree? Loved it...thanks to all!

JJ

quote:

from Jaye
I myself arrived here after years of blaming other, and complaining because I felt so powerless...and it wasn't until I got SICK OF MYSELF that I made a conscious decision to START to look for alternatives.

Jaye,
Just ran into your post. I laughed since I can SO relate to your comment about being "sick of myself". I too got THERE and have getten HERE because of it. Good for us that we changed our patterns.
Blessings to you,
Carol

quote:

Originally posted by Phil:
Why do so many have such a hard time with this? Mastering your life requires you to re-examine how you are using the powers of your mind and body, especially your thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Why is this so difficult?

Phil,
I've printed your post and will read it often. It is quite profound, while being simple at the same tmie. You asked: "Why is that so difficult?" when referring to using the powers of our mind to master our lives. My thought is that most people don't really believe they are the creators of their lives. They believe someone else is in control. I know I did. But I appreciated your analogy of the hot stove. If everything had such an instant consequence we'd learn faster. But we all do have the power to think through the process and see what the consequences would be for each thought or action. My guess is we don't want to take the time to do that and suffer later instead. I for one, will try to think about my actions, beliefs and thoughts, to look at all possible results before they happen. That will save me time and all sorts of other things, (ie: suffering, regret) in the end.
Thanks again for your post. It is very helpful.
Carol

Hi There,

Was just looking thru this post and found the following quote by Anne T insightful:

quote:

It did make me think however of this trap:
getting paranoid about negative thoughts.

If negative thinking is so bad for us, it is almost scarry to have one!

So I practivce in finding it alright to have a negative thought. It is so understandable I practiced all my life thinking things I DON't want. My reaction to them is forginveness and than, in no hurry to 'undo' the negative thought, I take my time to come up with a positive picture and enjoy that thought.

I too have feared `negative' thoughts and the more I feared them the more difficult it became for me to dislodge them! Nowadays I am more relaxed and forgiving with my conscious mind.

I just tell my conscious mind indulgently "I know you are trying to help, but why not take a rest. Let your big brother the sub-conscious mind do some work! You are like the Captain of the ship - you just set the destination and state it! It is up to the crew and the engineers to get the ship to the destination, while you enjoy a relaxing trip! So why not just state your intention and let the universe carry out the details? Shades of the `Lazy Way'

Talking to myself like that puts me in a good mood.

I have also stopped beating myself up at not achieving `success' fast! The other morning I tried to brush my teeth with my left hand (I'm right handed) and I found it extremely difficult to complete even a few brush strokes. I kept returning the brush to my right hand. It was a real struggle to continue brushing with my left hand.

And that is only a physical habit I was trying to change! Furthermore I only brush my teeth about twice a day.

Imagine how much tougher it can be to change our habitual though patterns and our neural pathways. We think the same thoughts hundreds of times a day. So when we try to change our thinking to the `Certain Way' we find our thoughts so often go back to their ingrained, habitual paths.

So now I don't worry about it being hard. I just try to enjoy it (as Rebecca has suggested countless times) and make it a fun project!

Cheers.

Gopi

`Choose to create your own reality!'

As it's nearly 2 years since you wrote this I'd love to hear from Phil on his thoughts on this now.

Here's my thoughts, 1st off I think it's a lousy question, I'd rather ask How can this be Easy? How can we better explain this to People? How can we pave the Way?

Anyway, thinking about it I have formulated an idea of the mind as being like a computer (not surprising as I work in IT, you know in the Industrial Revolution they thought of the body as a Mechanical Machine, I saw a book cover once with the Human body with cogs and stuff in it) Anyway I digress slightly...

I don't know if you have seen the film, Jerry Maguire, but at the end there is a scene with the upset ladies talking about men being the enemy and one of them says "It's the Neural Pathways get set and it's hard to change". This makes a lot of sense to me, I think to a degree we are creatures of habit, and it takes time to change, but change we can, keep focused on what you want and eventually you will get there.

My degree thesis was on Artificial Neural Networks in of all things Image Processing. What I was actually doing was testing an image compression algorithm which my lecturer had written a paper about.

What I had to do was write a piece of computer code which took a training image and learnt how that image was composed. In the training phase this program read the image over and over again, 1000s of times, each time it looked at the image it got a better idea of how that image was composed. As it was, all thatI proved was the algorithm was flawed and couldn't possibly work. p.s. I was well out of my depth, it took me about a month and a half to understand the formula My maths doesn't go much past 3x7

But this is how learning SOGR has gone for me, I have repeatedly exposed myself to images of what I do want and eventually this seems to have sunk down into my sub-concious, this is how I think affirmations and the like work. I also think that the feelings are not necessarily required in this... HOWEVER and it is a big HOWEVER I do think the feelings are VERY IMPORTANT - not so much as a visualisation but more in the sense of a GUIDANCE SYSTEM. What I am effectively saying is that what we continuously expose ourselves to kind of sinks into our thinking and becomes our reality.

I think this is especially important if you have forgotten how to feel good, maybe you've been depressed for a while or whatever. I mean it's all well and good for the likes of T Harv Eker to say "Stop playing the Victim", or Tony Robbins to say "You are fat because you eat too much", now I'm sure they don't mean it harshly, but I do so love this line from Neale Donald Walsch "You cannot be what you do not know yourself to be!"

So the key I think is to find things which make you feel better, anything, for me a major leap was going to a Tony Robbins UPW seminar, it wasn't enough on its own but there was one exercise where you had to look into somebody's eyes and say something beautiful to them. This gave me a massive sense of connection and love which I can go back to so easily, keep determining to create things like this and over time they add up, each time discovering a slightly different part of yourself.

One other thing I think is very important is to listen to yourself, books and stuff are great, and Rebecca's course is the greatest (imho ), but I always remember a line which I think was from the work of Carlos Castaneda, where Don Juan told him "All books can tell you is about somebody else's journey", now that's great as a source of inspiration and many books have been a source of inspiration for me, but you still need to ask yourself "What do you want? How do you want YOUR life to look?" - Pay attention to the stuff you like in your books and ponder if you could have that, would you want that, don't concern with whether you can have it allow yourself to be WOW'ed.

Neale Donald Walsh says something similar, something like "Go with the feeling, forget what you have read in your books, Go with the Soul."

Anyway, I thank you for the opportunity to express myself,

Expectantly,

Adrian

quote:

Originally posted by Cal:
So notice and appreciate the little signs that your thinking is changing - and your positive changes will multiply.

Thank you for that story, Cal! I have one of my own from last night. I was at a Halloween party, and I started to get very tired. The two friends who live closest to me were both, shall we say, unable to drive (!), and had fallen asleep. One other friend was leaving, and he had only one space in his car left. Taking me home would've meant an extra ten minutes tacked onto his already extended trip. I didn't want to impose, so I called a taxi.

Cabs here are NOTORIOUS for showing up much later than they promise to...sometimes they don't show at all. I kept calling companies (who didn't answer) until I got a dispatcher who said that the car would be there in ten to fifteen minutes (the standard promise). I asked if they accepted credit cards, as my cash in hand wouldn't cover the ride. The dispatcher said that it would be a $15 minimum for a credit card fare, but we both assessed that that's about what the meter would read. I was also a little concerned that my credit card would be maxed out, but I shook that off and booked the cab.

My friend was ready to leave by that time, and so I called one more time. The dispatcher answered on the second ring and said, "Your car is downstairs." I ran downstairs, hopped in the cab, and we were off. The cabbie accepted a phone call while he was driving. His language was FOUL, but I said nothing. After he hung up, he tried to chitchat with me, asking me my name, etc. I remained pleasant. When he came to a stop, I presented my card. He scowled as he told me that the credit card reader in his cab wasn't working. He said that he'd been trying to get the cab company to fix it. I calmly explained that I'd asked in advance if they accepted cards as I didn't have the cash on hand. He asked if we could go to an ATM. I said "no." He asked if my credit card had a PIN. Again, I said "no." I restated that I'd called and asked in advance, etc. I told the cab driver that I had $5 in cash and a credit card. I suggested that he call the dispatcher and have them put it through. He finally said, "Just give me the cash."

When I went inside, I felt guilty about the whole thing until I realized that the Universe had responded to my unwavering faith that everything would work out: that I would get a cab when I needed one, that I would arrive home safely, and that the ride would be paid for.

One of the things that I find very important is to recognise and acknowledge even the tiniest signs that your thinking is changing and that you are getting results. You don't lose, say 10 lbs of weight overnight when on a diet, so your CMI won't appear the second that you visualise it (although if you actually have aligned your thinking, of course it CAN appear that fast). Rather, to use the diet analogy, you start noticing little signs. Your waistband isn't quite as tight as last week. Oh goody, you're on your way. Then, you've dropped a clothes size. Wonderful.

Same with the Certain Way. As you get the thinking going in the right direction, tiny things happen to begin with. So tiny that you might miss them. So watch out for them, because they are there.

Here's a very recent sign that my thinking has improved.

I went to Copenhagen on Sunday ready to work there on Monday. The booking agent had put me in the wrong hotel. It was in the middle of the red light district and was VERY grubby. The sort of carpet you wouldn't wish to put bare feet on.

My reaction was totally positive: I thought, quite spontaneously, 'there's something brilliant on the way to me'. I couldn't get the booking agent on my mobile phone, so complicated phone calls home to husband, who called booking agent (turned out to be in Detroit), who called me on my mobile. Within two minutes I had been booked into a very luxurious hotel for my next night (the bed was clean, it was very late and I was very tired so I decided to stay where I was for one night). Next night after a long day at work, I turned up at one of the best hotels in town. 'Smoking or non smoking they asked'. Er - don't you have a non smoking room booked for me? No, they didn't and no non smoking rooms. Oh well I said, it's just that sort of trip and laughingly (genuinely) told the nice young man about the previous night. I had no agenda in telling him because he'd said they were fully booked.

He started tapping on the computer, and I found myself in an executive suite at the price of a normal room. With the biggest comfiest, fluffiest bed I've ever slept in.

All that I had lacked was a negative attitude to what was going on around me. I didn't even ask for such a lovely experience.

So notice and appreciate the little signs that your thinking is changing - and your positive changes will multiply.

quote:

Originally posted by ME:
But it's all relative, and it's all in how I CHOOSE to think, for ultimately I do have a choice.

In sharing the same thing with another friend who is thinking in the certain way, she suggested that maybe I break up my CMI into little chunks so that it's easier to overcome the horrible thoughts. Like, for instance, imagine shopping for a new car rather than driving it just yet. That seemed to help.

I've also noticed something else about people who voice negative opinions. That's only their lack of faith talking. I know that seems obvious, but it was really pointed out to me last night. When I announced, while waiting for some friends to finish smoking, that I was a soon-to-be-former asthmatic, they laughed and said, "How are you going to do that? Harvest new lungs?" or something to that effect. What they don't know is that I'm already experiencing clearer breathing, and that has bolstered my faith. In fact, it's unshakable.

Now I just have to apply that feeling/thinking across the board.

Well, I've been working on changing how I think for about twenty years now...and I seem to have finally arrived at a positive place.

But I do notice that it is easily disrupted by negative people.

When I first got to Barcelona I stayed with someone who is incredibly negative - even though she tries to practice SOGR - and it had quite an impact on my thinking. That - after five months with the family, who taught me the way of thinking I have worked very hard to unlearn!

It takes incredible force of will to keep our minds focussed on the positive and to see the truth in the spirtiual plane inspite of what we see in the physical world around us.

Wallace Wattles says it is the hardest work we will ever do.

At the end of the day, his message of the power of gratitude has been life-changing for me.

There are still challenges, but how I deal with those challenges is radically different.

Confetti talks about visualising horrible things in the middle of her visualisations, and yes, that USED to happen to me. Now, when I find my thoughts slipping into disaster mode, I say: "Don't go there, don't go there for even 1 second."

Then I quickly start to express gratitude for the universe taking such good care of me.

It harkens back to the Christian teaching that God will take care of us, comparing us to the lillies of the field.

But it's all relative, and it's all in how I CHOOSE to think, for ultimately I do have a choice.

Yes I have had that happen. When I realize what my mind is doing I say stop forcefully even if its just in my mind. It seems to help.

Even though this thread is over two years old, I figured I'd post a reply rather than start a new one, since Phil's post and the responses are very valuable.

For mere naysaying, like, "No...that'll never happen for me," I have a good affirmation. Someone I used to work for had a type of autism that made her repeat things over and over. One of her favorite phrases was, "Why not?" It always made me smile and think, "Yeah... why not?"

But I have a problem with sullying my CMI. I'll start visualizing great things, and then horrible things will happen in the visualization. I don't even want to write them down. They don't frighten me, but they do trouble me, because I know that they're images that I'm generating.

Has anyone else encountered this? What was your solution?

lol, try putting your hand on a hot stove to train your mind to do what you tell it. (joke)

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wilx:
Bryan

I'm so pleased you replied to Phil's post. It brought it back to the top, just when I needed it.

---

I like it when the little things I do are appreciated I'm glad that my post helped you.

Another point, all of the negative feelings, such as guilt and fear really seem to protect themselves, making it hard to recognize them all the time. I have for years struggled with the fact that I can recognize a negative feeling, such as feeling unworthy of success and abundance, but never being able to get beyond it because a part of me actually believes these thoughts have merit.

Bryan

I'm so pleased you replied to Phil's post. It brought it back to the top, just when I needed it.

Phil

Thanks for the "hot stove" idea. I'd read it earlier, but needed to see it again, today.

Twice this week I've been really angry, yet this is something I've worked hard at "not" being. Fortunately I recognised it both times, but it took a great deal of mental effort to change my thinking. (Mr Wattles certainly was right about how hard it is to put in the mental effort!)

However your hot stove idea just clicked. I'm going to use it whenever inappropriate thoughts invade - especially angry ones. I'm certain that by comparing the unwanted thoughts to a physical hot stove I'll be able to change the negatives faster.

Thanks again.
Heather

So true Phil. I like your comparison with touching a hot stove. If only our thought processes were as black and white as our physical nerve impulses. If you lived most of your life with your hand on a hot stove, just like our negative thoughts have been absorbed throughout our lives, you wouldn't recognize as quickly that you need to pull your hand away.

Thanks Phil, for your post.

It did make me think however of this trap:
getting paranoid about negative thoughts.

If negative thinking is so bad for us, it is almost scarry to have one!

So I practivce in finding it alright to have a negative thought. It is so understandable I practiced all my life thinking things I DON't want. My reaction to them is forginveness and than, in no hurry to 'undo' the negative thought, I take my time to come up with a positive picture and enjoy that thought.

I am getting good at positive thoughts though. My practice pays off.

Greetings

Anne T

Dear Phil,

What a thought-provoking post. When I first read it, right away, it came into my head that it may be that it is difficult to learn to "change our minds" because often times there is some reward attached to our attitudes... i.e. we get sympathy if we play the victim, we feel comraderie commisserating with our friends (the one-up game) about our miseries, etc.

In order to pull ourselves out of these destructive ruts, we first need to see the problem.

I myself arrived here after years of blaming other, and complaining because I felt so powerless (I was home with one and then two kids and completely dependant after being single and independant for years) and it wasn't until I got SICK OF MYSELF that I made a conscious decision to START to look for alternatives.

And look! Here I am! Seek and ye shall find, or what?

Jaye

There IS a Better Whey!
http://www.betterwhey.com

Hi Phil,

Thank you so much for your post, great timing! I was just in a funk almost the whole time today, sensing an inner tug-of-war between wanting to pivot towards a better thought & my habit of wanting to stay in my negative mood. Your post just helped me shift my mood completely. Awesome!