quote:

Originally posted by Soup:

Is this true for every circumstance and situation in our life? To not be disappointed when things don't go as we would like them to for every dealing throughout each day?


Brian

My short answer is yes. There may be times, say at the death of a loved one, where we will feel some emotions that may be challenging, but I believe most of our experiences, a few years from now, when we look back on them, are not that disturbing. Most of the "negative" things anyone faces are simply inconveniences that we do not realize at the moment will turn out all right.

To me, it really has to do with my attitude. I can choose to look at the advantages or disadvantages of a situation.

Why do I feel fear at times? I believe it's due to my past programing. Thinking that......this is is bad, this isn't going to be good, this isn't working out like I think it should, etc.

Now I'm looking at each situation and I say to myself, Ok, God, this will be interesting to see how this is going to work out.

Then I do my best to let it go.

I try to take the actions and let the results be up to God. To try my best to not think or plan that things have to work out a certain way.

This is totally different from how I've tried to "manage" my life for a long time.

Brian

I recently overcame my "fear" of receiving. Up till now I would worry about everything that could happen to me. I have learned to BELIEVE everything WILL work out for the best. After I read the article "I Wanna be Like You". It simplified it for me, I only think about my ideal ending in every situation, good or bad, not the negative what could be or what if, I just switch it around and turn it into a positive what if or what could be.

Val01 and Soup...nice share on fear. Thanks.

I recently learned I have a great fear of receiving myself. We won a board hearing at my son's school. If he would have lost, he would have been expelled for a year. When the verdict was announced, instead of relief, I felt fear that something even worse was going to happen.

I went into this believing my son, but resigned to losing. I had already made arrangements for alternative schooling, jobs, social activities for him. Then just before the hearing, after he had been suspended for ten days already, his coaches really pushed for me to get an attorney and fight this thing. Witnesses, both evidential and character, crawled out of the woodwork. Everyone...99 percent of the school was supportive, kind and understanding.

And I felt we didn't deserve it this kindness. And I am still afraid and feel like I owe the world, even after weeks of anixety and a month's wages lost to an attorney, not to mention the late fees I will incur because now I cannot pay my monthly's.

Considering the offense, even if it were true and my son was guilty, we paid dearly.

In my mind, I am not even worthy of Justice.

It is too sad.

Here I sit, frightened out of my wits, wanting to run, again. Sigh.

Hi Annie,

I know that what you feel is real...I've been in many situations that were as unsettling. My experience is to continue to TRUST that things will work out and to TRUST in myself. Most of my "horrible, terrifying" experiences worked out with some surprising results. If you look back on some of your past "ordeals" you might find that they too worked out well...this last event with your son is a good example. You are a very smart woman and you deserve everything good.

My point being is that the more you let go and trust...in the Universe and yourself...the easier it becomes.

Keep on keeping on and it will get easier.

Here is an article by Guy Finley you might like..
http://www.guyfinley.org/free-...551&klsid=sid0000_KL

Love,
Laura

quote:

Originally posted by annievt:

In my mind, I am not even worthy of Justice.

annievt,

Can you identify what would make you feel this way?

I lost pretty much everything due to addiction. But I am so grateful today for the life I have.

Can you find gratitude for your life -- for being a child of God?

There is so much to look forward to every moment of every day.

I didn't always feel this way. When I was in my darkest time I wanted to die. I didn't have any hope.

The turn around for me was developing a relationship with God and finding out how to let go.

A beautiful life beyond what ever you could imagine is there for you and me -- for all of us.

It has been important for me to stay in this conversation. To really look at how I feel and when I feel lack and fear, to change what I am thinking about.

To tell myself a different story. It's all made up anyway.

Hope this help.

Brian

You both mentioned letting go

"Can you identify what would make you feel this way?"

Nope I don't know why I would not feel its ever ok to win, or that no matter what, I am the one who has to take the hit so others don't. But I am afraid to receive all the kindness that folks offered and to even be found innocent in a legal proceeding. It justfeels so out of balance.

At this rate when will I ever feel good enough to receive enough money to be financially independent and have a new car and my own place to live? I can't even receive a not guilty verdict when my kid did nothing at all wrong?

This is so weird....not to feel happy or relieved. Off balance.

I am glad you have both overcome, or learned to let go when you needed to.

Regarding the article, I understand about letting go, but I am always confused when authors suddenly throw in some form of the word truth.

What truth? What is true understanding?

Thanks.

Annie;

You are almost there! Perhaps not in this thread; but in all of the postings that you have made since beginning SOGR to now I have seen a dramatic shift in you!

Hang in there; you will believe that you are worthy of good and you will recieve good things in your life! After that good becomes great then greater!

I am so happy for you!!!!!

Hi Annie,

You asked what would make me feel like I have let go.

My biggest challenge has been with a feeling of lack when it comes to my financial situation.

I would focus on all of the money we owed and would be hoping to have enough to pay our bills each month.

I've tried network marketing, owning a business, real estate investing all in hopes of getting rich!

As a result, my bank account hasn't grown and there's still no money in savings.

But I've finally been able to let it go. I know I'm going to be ok -- better than ok.

I feel peace and joy as a result.

I'm applying what I'm learning in sogr and watching how I'm thinking and feeling.

Here's another example of something that has been quite an opportunity for me......

For a long time I thought my wife did way too much for her kids, ages 22-27. I thought she was solving their problems for them verses letting them work it out themselves.

I tried to control this and wanted to change her and told her she shouldn't help them so much that it wasn't doing them any good.

Needless to say this was the cause of many disagreements.

So I eventually changed the story and let it go. The story I now tell myself is that my wife is a loving, kind, beautiful person who just wants to help her kids and doesn't want them to struggle.

Believe me, I can create a story to defend my position that she isn't helping them in the least but I choose not to live out of that story any more. I've let it go. I feel love and peace and joy! (When I stay in this story!)

Sometimes my mind shifts back to the old story but I know I can change it back to a story that works better for me.

Hope this helps.

Brian

quote:

I thought she was solving their problems for them verses letting them work it out themselves.

Brian, I love this whole post -- and especially THIS part, because you realized that YOU were doing the very thing you thought SHE shouldn't be doing: Trying to "fix" someone else or their problems.

I'd be willing to bet there's not a single person on this forum (or on this planet, actually) who hasn't done exactly the same thing. The part where we think we know what someone else should do, I mean. The part where we become aware that we're thinking the same way as the one we want to fix is a whole lot more rare!

We are such funny animals, aren't we?

For a long time my life was a play and I was the director. If every actor would just do what I thought was best everything would be ok.

This was such hard work not to mention very frustrating!!!

I'm glad I don't have to live this way anymore.

Brian

Hey Brian,

I'm right there with you brother! What a relief, huh?

Rebecca, I can not express the joy of having you participating once again! Woo-hoo!

Love,
LauraK

Quote by LauraK

quote:

Rebecca, I can not express the joy of having you participating once again! Woo-hoo!

I am also joyful to have you back participation again! But was wondering; where is Croz?

I was wondering that myself, when I decided to look for a way to contact Croz when I realized that none of the links from his recent e-mail messages (such as Certain Way - January 2011) were working. Granted, I'm on a public PC right now and the network could be interfering - but then I saw that the SOGR Network site appeared to have reverted to its prior form, with Rebecca Fine at the helm...

Whatever the case, I'm glad to see Rebecca back, for however long - though I hope Croz is well and that the catalyst for Rebecca's return wasn't an unexpected stumbling-block.

Sadly, I have never posted here before, nor on the PG forum. I have plenty to say, but classes are being very demanding of my time tonight and tomorrow, but I hope to get back to these forums later and spread the word of my experiences!


Better and better days to all,
Charles Bilyue

The mind should not move when situations arise, either good or bad. This is one of the hallmarks of Zen. Just as you sit completely still in zazen (sitting in zen), so should the mind remain still among the multitude of phenomena which arise and disappear. If you can do this (it is not easy!), life becomes something wonderfull. You start radiating a peace, for you know that nothing in life can throw you from your solid ground on which you stand.

Jan

I love this whole thread, especially the laughing part!!!!

I had a bit of an a-ha today that sort of fits with this conversation:

I often try to "control" my thoughts or "make myself feel better" or "accept" the situation, yet those words often feel stressful to me when I think that way. I sometimes feel that feeling good is such a chore... especially knowing that my feelings are so powerful. I can actually develop a fear that I'm going to feel bad and create a negative experience. You see where this is going. Silly.

So this is what I found today: Everything is about allowing. I allow myself to feel at peace and serene. I allow whatever I'm doing to be easy, peaceful, even fun. I allow myself to laugh and relax. I allow good things to come to me. I allow others to behave in whatever way they choose. I allow my world to be whatever it is, without judgement.

This came from something Rebecca posted recently about good things "pushing against us" trying to get in, if we would only let them. I can allow those good things pushing against me to enter my awareness. I allow myself to see them and to accept and be grateful for them. I allow myself to be happy, even when I have not been "perfect."

I'm going to try that for a while.

Also, I plan to laugh a LOT more.

Love and blessings,

Rachel

Rachel, for some reason that reminds me immensely of something I read in the Science of Being Great, but it's been so long since I've read that one that I don't recall where it was. I guess that's saying I need to make time to dig into that again - or maybe to allow myself to have the time to read it?

Better and better days to all,
Charles

quote:

So this is what I found today: Everything is about allowing. I allow myself to feel at peace and serene. I allow whatever I'm doing to be easy, peaceful, even fun. I allow myself to laugh and relax. I allow good things to come to me. I allow others to behave in whatever way they choose. I allow my world to be whatever it is, without judgement.

This came from something Rebecca posted recently about good things "pushing against us" trying to get in, if we would only let them. I can allow those good things pushing against me to enter my awareness. I allow myself to see them and to accept and be grateful for them. I allow myself to be happy, even when I have not been "perfect."

Wow Rachel is this sychronicity or what?? I am lying here just contemplating and have been letting this thought of allowing stew in my mind for a while after reading one of the posts
(not sure whose) about thanking God/formless for allowing me to have everything joyful,loving, happy and harmonious in my life, and thinking isn't life just so simple and wonderful when I just decide that there is a greater benevolent force that is waiting for me to recognize and acknowledge its presence, and let all the good flow to me, and right through me so that others can experience the same, if they so desire it. Ah, I am understanding more and more that life is easy, hmmm now I can actually feel myself moving along with the whole friendly universe, and waiting expectantly for all its wonderful suprises.

Awesome!